


Staying Vigilant

by SassyNightCat



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Action/Adventure, Blight Cure, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Post-Blight, Romance, The Blight (Dragon Age), The Calling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 66,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3746836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyNightCat/pseuds/SassyNightCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Warden Surana is not the most diplomatic, friendly or well liked of people in Thedas. He is a known blood mage, and have few friends. Most of his friends have comitted heinus crimes and are dead. All he wants is to be free to be with Morrigan and Keiran and people, and curses, not to bother him. Now he like every Warden is affected by The Calling, but how will he solve it? Can he free himself from the taint? And at what cost?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She had arrived to Vigils Keep two nights ago, since he had not responded to her letters nor acknowledged her summon. She had a bunch of her Orlesian Wardens with her. Nathaniel had been keeping them 'entertained' along side the Seneschal for a those two nights.   
The Warden-Commander of Fereldan was busy. Doing important things. They tried to come up with more excuses, but after two nights Clarel was furious and threatened to denounce Surana as the Warden-Commander if he did not show himself to her soon. That made Nathaniel force down his Commander from his study.  
A grumpy, irretated, Warden-Commander Surana glared at Clarel almost as teaming as she when glared at him.  
“What is the meaning of this?” she barked making him roll his eyes at her “How dare you show me this much disrespect?!”  
“Because you are clearly mad,” he answered in a cool collected voice and sighed “I do not keep mad women as pen-pals, nor recognize them as my equals,”  
“How dare you!?” Clarel growled and the Seneschal looked at his commander with eyes pleading for at least some diplomacy.  
Feron Surana sighed and focused his eyes at Clarel.  
“You are talking about a mad procedure. A rash action with no proof suggesting success other then this mysterious 'adviser'. I suspect a fine Tevinter mage that joined your side for not too long ago? No Warden, but still present? Don't looked shocked. I keep myself informed, since I'm no fool and you keep secrets,”  
“We need to act fast! All of us hear the Calling. We need to secure the world before...”  
“Before what?” he interrupted with a sharp tone “Before we all fall dead to the ground? No. This is unnatural. It has never happened before in any recorded history, and such I do not agree with you rushing around like a headless chicken to find a solution. Some of us tried to find a solution to the Calling before you shat yourself, Clarel. Maybe listen to us? Instead of summoning us like dogs,”  
“Is that it?” she gasped “You won't send your men, nor come when I call for a grand meeting because I summoned you?! Why Duncan ever thought you...”  
“Probably because I keep my head cool under pressure,” he noted and glanced at her Wardens “And you still won't listen to what I have to say. So I guess you are as arrogant, dear Warden-Commander of Orlais,”  
She clinched her jaws and he could possibly smell the fear of her. Of all of them. It made him even more agitated. Panicked fools running around making plans that wasn't plans.   
“Avernus and I..”  
“Do not speak of that man,” she spat “He experimented on us, on his own brothers,”  
“To stop the Calling,” Surana noted with a sigh “Are your adviser suggesting anything else, something other then blood magic?”   
“...It is different,” she said but she did not sound too sure of herself.  
Of course she didn't, the Warden-Commander thought, Clarel was new to blood magic.   
She did not study it like he, or Avernus did. For her it was a desperate measure, not a common tool in her toolbox of magic.   
“It is,” he agreed “Our research have hundreds of years behind it. Your friends have how many?”  
“I have the knowledge of the Imperium behind me,” a man said stepping forward.  
The Hero of Fereldan was actually caught by surprise. He had not expected her to bring the mage with her. She truly was desperate.  
“Why would you deny your expertise to aid me to stop the Blights?” the stranger asked and Surana scoffed  
“Sweet words and rhetorics will not make me do it, Tevinter. I am a scholar, and the Warden-Commander of Fereldan. I know more about the Blights then you ever will, and hence I doubt your intentions are sincere. Why would you other wise go and find the Warden without knowledge to 'help' you first? You are an unknown in our game. And of Tevinter as well. No warden. You, dear stranger, are an unknown. Unlikley allies showing up just at the right time, usually aren't allies,”  
“You are paranoid,” Clarel said “We need help! We need to stop the Calling!”  
“And we will,” Surana sighed, getting mighty frustrated with her lack of understanding “But I will not run your fools errand. I have no need for you to agree, nor believe me. If I did I would have contacted you. If you believe this stranger, go ahead. But I find it unwise to bet all our strength on one man. One unknown man,”  
He saw the Tevinter getting flustered by his disobedience but he cared little. He heard his own Wardens protest, saying they should help their Orlesian brothers, and he shrugged.  
“I do not keep you prisoners here, if you believe in her ill-advised plan, please go. And feel free to gloat at me afterwards when you have ended all Blights and maybe resurrected the Griffons as well,” they looked shocked and offended by his words but he continued “I will continue my own research in the meanwhile,”  
Seneschal groaned when he saw the Warden-Commander Surana then turn on his heal and walk back towards his study.  
“Mistress Clarel,” he began but she simply spat on the floor and went towards her own quarters.  
The two commanders would never speak again.  
Many of the Fereldan Wardens left with Clarel that night, fearing the Calling that was pressing down on all of them. Partly still blaming their Commander for not stopping Anders from leaving, partly blaming him for the disaster that Anders had caused.   
Surana himself sat down at his desk again, causally warming his cup of tea once more and stroking the large well fed cat that napped beside him.  
“Let the fools run and chase their fears,” he mumbled, the cat opened an eye and purred, “We will do this properly, Sir-Pounce-Alot. We will sort this all out without them, as always,”  
The cat stretched for a moment and then curled up again, continuing his nap. The Warden sighed.  
It was difficult to concentrate with the loud singing in his head. A quick tap on the door didn't make it any easier.  
“What?” he asked in a short irritated voice.  
“...So... When was the last time we agreed someone had a really bad idea?”  
It was Alistair. Could this night get any worse?  
“Aren't you running of howling at the moon with the others?” he said with a cold sarcastic tone “You noticed I did not agree with her right? Shoudln't that make her right in your tiny mind?”  
“Oh, now I am hurt,” the Senior Warden said and walked up to Sir-Pounce-Alot and scratched him behind his feline ears.  
The cat approved.  
Surana did not.  
“You know,” Alistair continued “I thought you would be the first to jump on the hey-lets-go-do-blood-magic-together-wagon. Are you upset that she went to another blood mage? Are this you being petty and jealous?”  
“It is not,” the Warden-Commander groaned wanting Alistair to disappear in a puff of smoke or something “She is an idiot. Like many other Wardens. And she will get them killed, because she has no idea what she is doing,”  
“But you do. You doing bloody demon magic is safe,” Alistair noted with deep sarcasm  
Surana did not even reply. A reply would indicated that he thought the comment was worth recognizing.  
“Are you and Morrigan going to make some secret super-ritual binding the world to your wills?” Alistair asked continuing to sound like a moron.  
“She is in Orlais,” Surana noted coolly “With Keiran,”  
“Miss them much? I find it really creepy and sort of wrong that you and her have raised like.. a normal child. He should have horns, or something,”  
“You will have horns soon if you don't shut up and go away. Did you come just to pester me?”  
“No, no it is.. it is good I guess. Shows that there is some good in you, somewhere. Underneath all that blood maybe, you know..”  
Shut up, just shut up, Surana thought wanting to kill Alistair but restrained himself as so many times before.  
“Me stopping the Blight, Saving Adamant and the Vigil, ending the threat of the Mother and all those other things do not show you that I do not wish to see an end to this world?” he asked glaring at the blond fool occupying his sofa, now with the cat happily purring in his lap.  
Sir-Pounce-Alot, the traitor.   
“That is all world ending stuff. Even evil people can want to stop them,” Alistair noted, “You caring and raising for a normal child, and that child not becoming a murderous lunatic at five or growing horns, is better proof that you can be decent. Even if it obviously pains you,”  
“Or, maybe, I'm just subtle with the implemented evil in my son,” Surana dryly noted “Or maybe you couldn’t even begin to grasp the reasoning behind my actions, because you are a dimwitted fool who still believes the Chantry,”  
“So why are you talking to me?” Alistair said thinking himself clever  
“If I talk, you shut up. Did you want anything from me? Otherwise leave,”  
“...I just wanted to say I agree her plan is mad. I'll go and try convince them, again,”  
“Do as you please. She won't listen. If she won't listen to me, who knows blood magic far better then most, why would you change her mind?”  
“Because I got charm, Surana. And no deal you ever make with any demon will ever give you enough charm to even seem endearing,” Alistair noted and walked away.  
Possibly sensing that Surana was close to loosening those restraints that kept him from turn Alistair into his puppet.   
Sir-Pounce-Alot seemed to be a bit offended by his new slave leaving, and meowed at Surana demanding him to take up the petting where Alistair had left of.  
“Makers breath,” Surana muttered “I will have to leave you with Delilah tomorrow. Nathaniel will not care for you enough, you greedy monster,”  
The cat purred as he snuggled up around Suranas shoulders. At least the purring helped a bit against the song. He had to concentrate, he had to find the key to unlocking this. He had to see what he and Avenrus had missed for all these years.


	2. Chapter 2

He left Ser-Pounce-Alot with Delilah the next morning, with some coin for the trouble and the cats favourite toys and snacks. He grumbled but did not argue when she claimed he spoiled the cat rotten.  
He knew he did.  
A few pats and scratches behind Ser-Pounce-Alots ear and the Warden-Commander of Fereldan left Amaranthine and changed into the form of a raven flying to Soliders Peak.  
He had to talk to Avernus, he had to see if he had cracked the Calling yet. 

Faeron Surana was not a man who took fear well. He hated fear. Fear made people stupid and it clouded judgement more than anything else. He hated being afraid, but this unnatural new Calling made him anxious. His time was limited to begin with, and he knew Kieran would need him in the years to come. Morrigan would be fine, she was a strong woman. He thought, and hoped, she would be grief stricken if he died, but she would not break. It was one of the things he admired and loved most about her. Her strength.  
Kieran on the other hand... he was just a child. A special child who would need as much magical expertise that was possible when the time came. Morrigan was brilliant in many ways, but two heads was always better then one. And he was notably better then her when it came to the mysteries of blood and the spirits associated with it.  
In his mind he smiled as he thought about how she would make that disgruntled scoff if she heard him say that, and tell him that it was because she was not half the fool he was. That those years being locked up in a tower surely had done something to his head, making him so aloof when it came to cut open his veins for power.  
He loved her and their son more than anything in the world. He would break the Calling, for their sake. No pesky ancient magic would keep him from them. 

As soon as Soliders Peak came into view he knew something was wrong. Parts of the keep was burning, and the main gate was shattered. He cursed Dryden, who probably was the fool who had attracted attention, and swooped down to the bridge over to Avernus tower. If the Drydens were still alive he would tend to saving them later. The research was his primary concern.  
Muttering curses in every language he could he took long strides up the stairs to the laboratory, he could hear fighting. Steel against steel and the crackling of lightning.  
Avernus was not dead, yet.  
“Lay down your swords, and surrender,” he commanded as he entered, using his most authoritative tone.  
The aggressors did not lower their weapons. He wasn't surprised when he saw who they were. Templars.  
Avernus was dying, he could see it. The old man was missing limbs and it was just sheer will keeping him alive at this point. He looked relieved when he saw Surana in the door way.  
Surana let out an exasperated sigh and didn't even need to draw of his own blood. The room was flowing with the liquid already, staining the air with a deep iron scent.  
“I said, lay down your weapons,” he said taking control over the templars and most of them obeyed, unable to do anything else.  
Another one hissed and charged him roaring something about him being a blood mage.  
Surana sighed and flung up a barrier at the same time as he turned the templars on each other and took care of the charging fool with a well placed cone of ice followed by a stone fist shattering the templar all over the room.  
After that he made his way over to Avernus, Surana was in no means a healer and he doubted he would have been able to do anything to help his frienda nyway. The old man chuckled as he coughed up blood and bled all over the place.  
“Lay still.. Oh by all the gods and their...” Surana muttered and tried to put pressure on the open wonds to stem the bleeding.  
“I'm gone, boy,” Avernus said “Let me go,”  
“I can't. I need you. We need to...”  
“I don't have time. The notes are in the drawer. The key is in my pocket. There will come more of them, you can't waste your time killing them. Take the notes and find another safe place to study,”  
Surana looked at the old man in his arms and swore. He wanted to kill them all. Bloody fools. Bloody templars.  
Avernus coughed, and died.  
All these years, and it was templars who brought him to death. It infuriated Surana.  
He had hated the pious idiots from the moment they had dragged him from his home and thrown him into a Circle. He had hated them since the day he had heard them talking about him and his fellow mages as if they weren't people, just monsters in the making. Their stupid scaremongering that made magic more dangerous then it had to be. A mage acting out of fear was far more dangerous then one aware of the dangers but confident and well thought in his abilities. He saw both himself and Morrigan as shining examples of this.  
There was no time for that now though. He took the key out of Avernus pocket and stuffed their research into his bag, scorching the templars behind him in a tempest. Metal armour against a mage with lightning spells was just foolish.  
As he walked towards one of the windows he glanced down at Avernus dead body and clinched his jaw.  
He had been a great friend, and even greater mentor. It stung in the heart of Surana to not have been able to save him. He took a quick step up on the windowsill and changed once more into the raven. He took a quick sweep looking over the courtyard before he left, noticing troops arriving. It wasn't the Banns troops, nor more templars. He didn't pay them much heed, whoever they were they weren't friends of his, and he had places to go. Riddles to solve, and magic to break.  
A friend to mourn.


	3. Chapter 3

It was early morning, he had reached the rebuilt site of Lothering and taken into the in. He was in a foul mood and kept to himself even more then usual. It it had not been for the limited amount of weight he could carry as a bird he would have brought his own supplies to stay out of populated areas completely. It was not the case now though, and even the Hero of Fereldan needed to eat on a regular bases.  
He saw people staring at him where he sat in a dark corner peering over the notes of Avernus and his research sipping on a mug of home-brewed ale and pushing some stew around his plate.  
He needed the subsistence, he knew that, but he had no appetite, even though he was very hungry.  
He felt that tight pressure over his chest and nauseated. The Calling rang in his ears even worse then normal, tempting and longing. Like an old lover calling ones name back to a warm bed after years of backbreaking hard labour.   
He almost felt feverish.   
A small yelp broke his concentration and he looked up from the notes seeing a small child staring at him with eyes big as saucers.  
“Can I help you?” he asked in a dry not very welcoming way.  
The child stared at him as if he was the archdemon and yelped;  
“Are you the Hero of Fereldan? You look like the Hero of Fereldan,”  
“And what would you know of that?” he muttered “You look no older then four,”  
“The Hero saved my Father in Redcliff, and gave him and auntie the family sword back,”  
Surana frowned, it sounded familiar. Oh yes. That irritating brat who had ran from the chantry just before they arrived and hid in the closet of his home. Alistair and Leliana had insisted they would look for the child, and then give his sobbing sister some coin so they could start a new.   
Had they not come further then Loithering? He knew it would have been a waste of coin and time.  
“I'm not,” he muttered “I'm just a nasty elf who wants to be left alone,”  
“My dad become a solider so he could make the Warden proud,” the child continued, seeming to have forgotten its fear for the grumpy looking elf.  
“How dumb,” Surana muttered “What makes he think that the Warden even cares?”  
“He is a hero,” the child said with a sigh as if that made it self-explanatory “Sure he did mean things too, like not staying to help the village fight the undead, but still, he saved papa and auntie,”  
“Maybe he had business to attend to,” the Warden muttered.  
He was so tired of people. They always judged his actions as if he alone was responsible for everything that had happened during the Blight. Sure, Alistair was a tool and nothing more but Surana had been a Warden for what, four hours, before he had been forced into command. And the Blight took priority, what use would the village of Redcliff had been if the Archdemon had won? People always seemed to forget what his objective had been when they pointed out the sacrifices he had made. Why was it his responsibility to take every stranger he met by the hand and lead them to safety? Why was it cold and heartless of him to expect people to defend themselves?   
“Are you sick?” the child asked “You look sick. My dog was sick once,”  
“I'm allergic to children,” he snarled “Go away, I'm not the Hero your father told you about,”  
“No, you are just a mean sick knife-ear,” the child muttered and left.  
“Mind your tone,” Surana said with an icy tone making the child grow pale with fear “Strangers are dangerous, stupid child of a fool. Insulting them might make you end up dead,”  
The child ran away as if he had set demons on it.  
Surana sighed and leaned his head against the wall behind him. He felt sick. It pulled on him from every part of his being. But there was no giving in. He would not succumb to this magic, he would not give in. It was just the Blight. He had defeated the Blight before.   
He took a sip of the ale trying to quell the nausea and closed his eyes for a moment. In his mind he could see the first trip he had made to a tavern in this village. The meeting of Leliana. How he had felt a need to deny her even then, but her help had seemed useful. He was still wondering how she had survived, Alistair had told her about their meeting in Kirkwall a few years after the Blight. Surana knew she had died, he had severed her head from her body.   
And now she was asking for him. Probably not to reassure him that it was all water under the bridge now. His reports told him about her in the company of Seekers. It made the situation even more messy, if the top of the Chantry was asking about him then it probably was to kill him. Having the Fereldan Circle abolished, and being the Warden-Commander who initiated Anders was all... bad things for his reputation and standing within the Chantry. Normally he didn't give a rats ass about what they thought but... With this Calling and all the Wardens panicking his defense against the Chantrys reach was getting slimmer. He needed things to get back in order.   
He sighed.  
This foolish shit had taken far too many friends from him. Anders who had gone mad. Maybe the others were right and he should had killed Anders when he found out about the ritual with Justice, maybe... Maybes didn't solve anything. Anders was dead. Avernus was dead. Jowen was dead. Velanna was missing, probably somewhere doing dalish things. Or dead.   
Morrigan and Kieran was safe, at least. He just missed them.  
Another big gulp of ale passed down his throat, it didn't really help the nausea but it didn't make it worse either.  
I need a plan, he thought to himself, I need somewhere to begin.  
Vigils keep had nothing to offer his quest, and no neither did Soldiers Peek. If the White Spire had not been such a complete deathtrap for him, he would have sought out their library. Just to make sure they did not had books he was in need of. He could of course, head to the deep roads. Try and find some thaig and capture some darkspawn to experiment on, but he had no laboratory now.   
In pure frustration he rose and left the inn, unable to concentrate on what to do while at the same time battling his utter refusal to vomit in front of others. His bag was already filled with a week worth of rations and he left the village heading south, into the Wilds.   
He missed his dog. Barkspawn had always been good company. A bit drooly but never in the way in an annoying manner. The brave animal had perished in the deep roads a few years back.   
Morrigan had been less then sympathetic to Surana mourning his hound more then a few humanoid followers that had passed in the same expedition. People were stupid. Animals on the other hand... They were true. Honest with their intentions and much better company. 

A good half an hour away from Lothering he paused and spilled the contents of his gut on the forest floor. After a quick rinse with water from his waterskin he continued to walk. He remembered Morrigan talking about an old Tevinter ruin in the forest, maybe it held some information. A lead he could follow. Anything.   
Then the earth shook, and through the Fade it was like a scream pierced causing him to kneel in agony. The dark night seemed brighter, and when he turned his eyes to the sky they grew big in surprise, and fear.   
A breach split the sky, a breach in the veil bigger than he could ever had imagined. It came from the Northwest, up against the Frostback Mountains maybe? He knew this was bad, no magic he knew of could cause this. Was it Clarels stupid plan? No... No it could not be. She could not have gathered such power in such short time.   
He could feel the Veil crackling, even here, and bit his cheek as he hurried further into the woods. This could bring on the end times, but even so he had another quest to solve. Morrigan would need him if demons and spirits were to be let lose on this world. And for them to be able to protect Kieran he would need to be his best self. That meant stopping the Calling.   
He had promised her to do it, and he would never let her down.


	4. Chapter 4

It took him a good two weeks to reach the Tevinter ruin Morrigan had talked about, it was typical of its era. Pointy, intimidating looking with a characteristic of in-your-face architecture. Covered in roots, moss and vines. Even on a distance he could see that he was not the only one visiting this old ruin. Camp fires and tents were set up outside, loud red tents. He felt a bit irritated, even with two weeks of solitude he had no want nor need for people at this point. He also thought they might be templars, which was about the last people he wanted to meet right then and there. In a small controlled space he had no worries about them, but out here.. they could flank him and get out of range for his large spells.   
So he sat down in a large bush and watched their camp, waiting for them to return. It took them the whole day, but then at dusk figures emerged out of the ruin. He frowned as he saw them. He did not recognize their heraldry, and there was mages in the group. He was sure they weren't Fereldan nor Orleisan.   
So who could be down here?   
Slowly and carefully he sneaked closer, hoping they would give him some clues. What he heard made him frown even more;  
“The Elder one would want us to move faster,” one of the warriors said to a mage by the camp fire “He will not appreciate the delay,”  
“This is an important find,” the mage replied with a snarl, bent over a dusty tome.  
“It is just an old ruin,” the warrior argued “We need to reach our outpost,”  
“Silence, fool,” the mage muttered and waved its hand.  
The warrior fell to the ground. Choking.   
No one seemed to pay heed to what just happened. In fact everybody else seemed to be working real hard not to look at what just happened.   
“I will have no more questioning of my actions, do you hear me?” the mage barked out to the camp.  
“Yes, master Servis,” the all replied.  
Surana chewed on his lip, evaluating his situation. The accent was most likely Tevinter. Another Tevinter mage, in Fereldan, with a large party of warriors at his command. It felt too convenient to be a coincidence.   
He sneaked past the camp, into the ruin as they all went to sleep but one guard who was facing the forest.   
What were they doing here? Few knew about this ruin. It was of little interest for anybody not interested in the early schools of blood magic. He pondered that question as he walked into the dark, not wanting to light any torch nor magelight before he was well out of view from the camp. He felt a bit annoyed. His experience with Tevinter mages was less then ideal. The vast majority of those he had met had been difficult to bare, since they automatically saw him as en elf first, and hence either tried to apologize for crimes he had never experienced, or treated him as someone who should be a slave. Neither pleased the Warden.   
He reached the bottom of the stairs that formed the entrance. They came out in a big hallway, well decorated with inscriptions and faded frescos. By the look of the remaining art work he dated the ruin roughly to 500 TE, before the first big uprising. It was much older then Morrigan had suggested, which he would gladly tell her the next time they had contact. He loved proving her wrong, and to watch her scowl at him.   
He walked further in, noticing where the Tevinters had been. They seemed to be here to loot the place, not looking for anything in particular. Vultures. Uncultured swine's.   
The layout of the ruin was typical for that age, and he had no trouble finding his way down to where the main library would be supposed to be. It was there, as expected, but what was unexpected was the Eluvian he saw as soon as he entered.   
Forgetting everything about caution he hurried up to it and started to evaluate it. It seemed intact, which made him even more confused. Taking a quick glance over his shoulder, to ensure nobody had noticed him or come down here on their own accord, he put his hands on the mirror, brought out the magic and mumbled;  
“Fen'Harel enansal” and gasped as it lit up opening the way for him, to somewhere.   
Hesitating for a moment, thinking about potential risks, he then took a step into the mirror and found himself at the crossroads.   
A sting of nostalgia and longing came to him, remembering his and Morrigans time in between. It had been good times. Away from the world, just the three of them. A short time of bliss. He sighed and stepped back, ceiling the mirror behind him. It working, and leading to the crossroads meant that he had to deal with the Tevinters. He could not risk them destroying the mirror in their ignorance.   
He left his belongings in the room by the Eluvian and thought of different ways he could be ridd of the Tevinters. An open battle seemed a bit... overconfident, since he was one and they were about 15. Scaring them was probably the better idea. Or turning them against each other. A bit of both sounded the most fun.   
So he sneaked up the corridor and managed to climb up on the side of the ruin, hiding himself behind a gargoyle and started to work his magic.   
Taking control over the guard was simple, he was a weak person to begin with and it took his comrades more effort then Surana had anticipated to bring the frenzied mind controlled guard down. Then there were 12.   
Servis had awoken by the commotion and demanded to know what was happening. Surana smiled to himself as he reached into the blood of another soldier and got his grip firmly into the mans brain before relieving his presence. It was a bit like puppetry, a thing he had loved as a child. Making them dance to his command, bringing fear and destruction on their friends unable to do anything about it.   
9 little Tevinters where scampering around a camp  
Just for a flair of drama he cast his voice, a purely theatrical trick Morrigan had taught him since it was great for escaping persecutors in the woods, and shouted in ancient elfish;  
“The wrath of my people will turn Tevinter against Tevinter until my people have gotten their justice. By the power of Mythal I curse thee and thou wicked blood,”  
The soldiers were in a real panic now, a few running from the camp not even hearing Servis commands to them. The mage gave up when he realized he was soon to be alone in the woods without any workers, so he left as well. Glaring back at the camp muttering something about knife-eared zealots.   
Surana chuckled and went through their abandoned camp, finding very nice rations and plenty of equipment that would help him research the site. He spent the rest of the night moving the things he needed, or wanted, into the ruin and putting up wards in case Servis and his men would dare to return.   
He felt better then in a long time, keeping busy kept the song at a distance. Maybe he should get some companionship just to have someone to distract him? But who besides Morrigan would he endure to have by his side for an unforeseeable future?


	5. Chapter 5

Weeks past while the Hero of Fereldan re-organized and read through the books still readable from the Tevinter library. None were of much use, but he found hints, small phrases or hidden meanings pointing him towards the deep roads. He loathed the deep roads. Full of Darkspawn and one wrong turn and you were on the edge of a lava river.   
He wondered why these things never were in a nice, lightly wooded area, where he could stroll through and just kill something to get his prize. But no, always in the deepest, most dangerous and far fetched place on Thedas.   
It was a rainy evening, he was curled up with his back against an old bookcase gandering over an index of early Tevinter magistrates. He knew a few of the names, but many was foreign to him, despite his in-depth research to their history that had come from his research into blood magic.   
His ring grew warm, pulsating and longing. He knew what it meant, she wanted to talk. Oh how surprised she would be.   
He rose, went to the Eluvian, activated it and stepped through, located her mirror and opened that as well, stepping out into a dark, elaborately decorated study.   
They had moved, it seemed.   
It was much nicer then the last place in Orlais he had visited his family at. Still Orlais though. The decoration was very orlaisan.   
She had heard him step out, or someone moving around in her study, and he smiled a wry smile as the door opened and chuckled;  
“Well, well, well, what have we here?”  
A clear imitation of her standard phrase.   
He saw surprise on her face, and then a scowl as if she thought he was childish. She probably didHe did have a childish streak, he admitted that. To himself anyway, not to her or anyone else.. He smiled at her and took two giant steps across the room up to her.  
Their eyes met, her scowl formed into a soft smile and she leaned her forehead against his, their fingers tenderly interlocking with each other.  
“He is asleep,” she mumbled and he nodded, stepping back a step so she could come into the study and close the door behind her.  
“I'll say hello later then,” he replied and lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly “You called for me,”  
“I did,” she mumbled “I wanted to inform you about our new situation. You answered my call faster then I anticipated,”  
“I was nearby,” his voice was light, almost jokey and she sighed an annoyed sigh, turning her back to him and walking to a desk at the end of the small room.  
“I have become employed as Empress Celenes magical advisor,” she informed him and rummaged through some papers “It seems her last one left to join the Inquisition and heal the breach,”  
“How will an Inquisition heal the breach?” Surana said with scepticism “Will they bore it to death by preaching?”  
“They have a man, some Marcher noble, Trevelyan I think, who supposedly is the Herald of Andraste and can close Rifts,” Morrigan answered and glared at her partner “Do you not know of what happened and the Divines conclave?”  
“Nothing, I would suppose. The war will not end just because she ask them to reason,” he replied dryly “Which is partly why I didn't go, the other part was Leliana probably stabbing me to death when I arrived, or the templars there doing her the favour,”  
“It blew up,” Morrigan informed him “Justinia is dead, everybody who was at the temple, except this Trevelyan, are dead,”  
Surana frowned, neither side would kill their own leaders to get to the others.   
Fanatics maybe?   
Seeing the talks as giving in to their enemies? Idiots was all over this war so it would not really surprise him.  
“He stepped out of a rift, and they claim Andraste saved him,” Morrigan continued “The Chantry has declared it blasphemy but Leliana and this Cassandra is backing him up and they are building quite the army on their own,”  
“Great,” he muttered sliding down into a chair “More fanatics? And you are here at court? Is that wise? I do not want some idiot fanatic killing you, or Kieran, over this idiotic war,”  
“Some say you started this war,” she noted and leaned on the desk looking at him with those piercing yellow eyes “By making Anora abolish the Chantrys power over the Circle of Fereldan, by not killing Anders when you learned of his deal with Justice, for allowing him to leave and refusing to help the Wardens search for him,”  
“I didn't,” he muttered “You know that. Anders might have started it but... it is a useless thing trying to establish blame on this,”  
“I know. Others do not. You have made choices that are not popular with neither the Wardens, nor the rest of Thedas. People in power do not favour you, my love. I know your reasoning, and see your logic, but they do not. Fear drive them, and you scare them. You need to keep yourself informed, otherwise they will blind side you and catch you off guard. You know this, why have you not kept up to date?”  
He rolled his eyes, but knew she was right.  
“I've been busy,” he replied “I found that Tevinter ruin in the Wilds you told me about. It is roughly from the 500's. Some interesting literature is intact enough to read, and it had a whole Eluvian. Hence my quick response to your call,”  
Her eyes grew big, excited and he could hear a soft tremble in her voice;  
“Intact? That is marvelous!”   
Then she gathered herself again and locked eyes with him, demanding an answer he had been avoiding;  
“How is your search going? Have you or Avernus found a cure yet?”  
“Not yet...” he said, feeling a strange unwillingness to tell her about Avernus.  
It made him feel... bad... sad and weird. He didn't like those feelings, so he didn't stay on the subject.  
“I'm heading to the Deep Roads, there are hints leading that way,”  
She looked worried and he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose trying to quell the Calling.  
“I know, I know. I will be careful,”  
“Talk to Keiran before you leave here,” she said, with a hint of fear in her voice, “If you being careful is not enough he needs to see his father, just once more,”  
Surana looked up, watched her through the dark room. Her face was soft and filled with emotions.  
Worry. Love. Sadness. Frustration. It was all there. He felt them all as well.  
“I will come back,” he said firmly “I will not let some blasted Calling get me. I need it to stop because it is annoying. Otherwise I am fine, Morrigan,”  
“You are not,” she mumbled and walked over to him, reaching out and pulling her fingers through his hair “You look worse. Paler. Like you don't sleep, and...”  
“I'm fine,” he grumbled leaning into her hand “It is just... distracting. As long as I keep busy it is just.. there. In the background,”  
She didn't say much. Just sighed and stroke the pointy end of his ear while she watched him.  
“Talk to Kieran,” she concluded after a moment of silence “He have missed you,”  
Surana nodded and stroke the skirt of her dress deep in thought.  
“I see you accepted a change of clothes?” he mumbled and she smacked him at the back of his head.  
“The queen insisted,” she said defensively and he chuckled at her embarrassed expression.  
“It looks very nice on you,” he added “I am just... not used to see you in such fancy clothes,”  
“It is a mask as well as any other,” she muttered still focused on his ear “She is very interested in the Beyond. The Empress,”  
“Never met her,” he noted and rested his forehead on her shoulder, etching the calm tender feeling of her fingers stroking and massaging his ear as they stood there in the dark “I bet we would not get along,”  
“Probably not. You are very disagreeable,” Morrigan replied with a soft chuckle in her voice “And the Empress is used to being treated with all the respect her title invokes. You are terrible at such things,”  
“I don't see the point,” he muttered “I respect skill, dedication and integrity. People who see the world for what it is and accept it, but doesn't let it defeat them. Honest people. Orleisan nobles selldom possesses these traits. They are self-important, entitled twats who think they are better then the rest of us just because of birth. I can't stand that, and I hope they wake up one day finding themselves utterly at the mercy of the once they have abused claiming to that idiotic notion of entitlement,”  
She let out an amused scoff and turned his face up so she could meet his eyes;  
“You are vile,” she mumbled and kissed him “I know you, Fearon Surana, you are not half as heartless as you pretend to be,”  
“Of course I am,” he said with a scoff and hint of laughter in his eye “I am the eater of children and defiler of all that is pure and holy. Have you not spoken to Alistair lately? Are you forgetting who I am? I am the most vile and dangerous mage in Thedas. Magistrates write me for lessons in being awful,”  
Her laughter rang like a silver bell in his ears, and filled him with much needed joy.  
“He is such a man-child,” she laughed “How such a fool can make it so far still amazes me,”  
“Well he did have me holding his hand through out the whole Blight,” Surana noted and she nodded and suppressed another laugh.  
He loved making her laugh, he loved being around her. She got it. She understood him, and she did not judge him for the decisions he had to make to keep the world in place nor to reach his goals. He loved her, more then life itself.  
“May I stay the night? Or is it to risqué?”  
He wanted to stay. He never wanted to leave her or their son again, but he knew he had to, but one night of peace could not be too much to ask for. Everything felt better when she was around, he never felt whole without her. He felt safer, knowing she would always have his back just as well as he always had hers.  
She hesitated, and he shrugged, putting on that uncaring aloof mask once more. He couldn't stay, he saw it in her eyes. The risk of them being found out was too big.   
“No matter,” he said before she could say anything “I have things to do anyway. I'll just pop in and talk to Keiran and be on my way then,”  
He turned away, feeling the disappointment burning within him worse then dragon fire. He had wanted her to say yes, without hesitation. A fools wish. They were at court, it was more then certain that she was being spied on by many different people. Her chambers more then anything.   
He reached out for the door handle, and felt her hand of his shoulder,  
“I'm not angry,” he muttered “I... It was a foolish question, and I shouldn't have asked,”  
Her hand slid off and she sighed, knowing him too well to argue.   
“Keirans room is down the stairs on the right and two doors to the left,” she said instead and added “I wish you could stay. But you are not safe here, and we wouldn't be if they knew who you were to us,”  
“I know,” he sighed, staring at the door as if it was its fault things were that way, “You probably shouldn't wait here for me to get back. If someone notices it will be.. suspicious. Better I seem like a thief in the night, or just an elf servant walking the corridors,”  
“Be careful, and...Fearon?”  
“Yes,”  
“Solve it. Make yourself safe, and come back to us,”  
He nodded, swallowing a big lump of emotions that had gathered in his throat and glanced over his shoulder at her.  
She was amazing. So strong, and caring. He met her eyes, forcing a comforting and confident smile;  
“Of course, I promise. We will be together again, as a family, and safe. I promise,”  
She returned his promise with an acknowledging nod and crooked smile,  
“I will hold you to that, now go talk to our son,”  
He left, went to Kierans room and watched the boy sound a sleep in his bed.   
Before the Blight, he had never thought he would care for anybody more then he cared for himself. After he met Morrigan he had never thought he would care for anybody more then he cared about her. Kieran had proved him wrong once again.  
Carefully, not to startle the boy awake, he walked across the room and slowly formed a soft glowing orb in his hand that he placed bobbing in the air over his shoulder.   
His beautiful, wonderful, glorious boy.   
Kieran mumbled a bit in his sleep and turned away from the soft light. Surana smiled a fathers smile as he watched and then squatted down by the bed softly stroking his sons arm to wake him.  
“Kieran?” he whispered “Keiran, wake up,”  
Kieran turned around grumbling and faced his back against the disturbance that was his father, still asleep. Surana sighed and gave his son a soft push to wake him;  
“Kieran, wake up,” he said a bit louder.  
The boy moaned and woke up, still groggy from his sleep and mumbling;  
“Father?”  
“Yes,” Surana answered and sat down on the side of the bed giving his son a moment to catch his baring.  
When the boy realized it was not a dream his eyes grew big and he threw himself into his fathers arms.  
“Father!” he called out in joy and Surana gently put a finger over his sons lips, making him keep his voice down, and hugged Kieran wholeheartedly.  
“Are you coming to stay with us, Father?” Keiran whispered excitedly and Surana shook his head;  
“Not yet, I still have that thing I must do. When that is done I'll be with you and Mother indefinitely,”   
“Will we go home to Fereldan then?”  
“I don't know. Maybe, or head on some other adventure just the three of us,” Surana said stroking his sons think dark hair out of his sleepy eyes “I needed to see you and Mother though, because I missed you so much,”  
“We miss you too,” Keiran said and snuggled up in his fathers arms “Have you met the Empress, Father? Mother say the Empress is very fond of us, and that it is good,”  
“It is good,” Surana agreed, holding his son close to his heart “But who could not be fond of the two of you? You are my favourite people in the whole world,”  
“You are mine,” Keiran mumbled and Faeron felt his heart melt “You and Mother,”  
“That is lovely to hear. How are your studies going?”  
“Mother say I am doing well. I have other teachers here too, and there are other children here I can play with,”  
“Good, and they are nice to you?”  
“Most of them,” the boy answered and smiled up at his father, a calming smile, “It is nice having other children to play with,”  
“I can imagine,” Surana said, it was the best he could do.  
He had never really had more friends then Jowen and Anders as a child. The Circle had never been a place of play and joy for him.   
The misfits. That had been him and his companions.  
Now both Jowen and Anders were dead, due to their own foolishness.   
“Did you bring Ser-Pounce-Alot?” Keiran interrupted his fathers thoughts starting to go through his clothes as if the big fat cat would be hidden in one of the pockets.  
“No, he is with Delilah in Amaranthine. You know how he is, he did not want to go into the Wilds with me to look for the things I'm looking for,”  
“He is a bit lazy,” the boy agreed “But he would like it here! We have lots of treats for him and my bed is big enough for both of us!”  
“I'll tell him that if I pop by Amaranthine any time soon,” Surana promised and his son looked pleased.

He was such a nice boy. Surana was himself amazed on how well adjusted Kieran was, considering his Mother was raised by the Witch of the Wilds and his Father had if anything been raised in something he considered a prison.   
Kieran was a bit odd, but that was to be expected since ha had the soul of an old god, but he had never had any trouble fitting in with people. He was well mannered, quiet and polite. A very kind boy.   
Surana was profoundly proud of his son, and how he was developing.

After an hour of quiet talk and socializing he tucked his sleepy son in once more, feeling his heart wretch a little when Kieran asked him to stay. He promised he would stay until Keiran fell asleep, so the boy didn't have to fall asleep alone.   
Kieran asked him to tell him a story, or sing him a song before he fell asleep. The Hero of Fereldan obliged, even though his repertoire of bedtime stories or songs were limited to say the least.   
He did his best though, coming up with a nice comforting story for his son to drift away too.   
As the boy was sound asleep once more, his father leaned in and kissed his temple. Vowing he would be back as soon as he could, free from the curse that ran in his blood so they could be a family again.

The study was empty when he came back to the Eluvian.  
It was just as well, they both hated good byes.   
“Fen'Harel enansal” he mumbled, and left Orlais and his family behind stepping back through the Crossroads to the cold damp Tevinter ruin and his books. An old vase soon got planted in the old wall as he felt the song grow louder again. He wanted to go back, but he could not. He needed to get this done, he needed to be set free so he could be theirs wholeheartedly.


	6. Chapter 6

He gathered up the books he thought he might want to keep at the Tevinter ruin and walked through the Eluvians back to Vigils keep. He didn't like to use that one as much, it was unsure how long it would take Nathaniel to figure out how his Commander managed to show up out of 'thin air'. Nathaniel was loyal, to the Wardens, and for some reason he had stayed by Suranas side as well. Surana did not trust the Howe though, since his motives for staying was very unclear.  
As he carried a big stack of books through the upper hallway to his study he could hear a familiar brutish bellowing voice boom through the keep.  
Ohgren was back it seemed.  
Surana sighed and continued to his study, sorting the books quietly in his bookshelf making mental notes of which he should take with him before going down stairs to see what the dwarf was fussing about now.  
Probably the lack of spirits or something.

“What do you sodding mean? He can't just be gone! He is the sodding commander! You are supposed to keep track of him! You sodding nugg-musher!”  
The dwarf was screaming at Nathaniel, who seemed to be developing a sever migraine.  
“He doesn't tell me anything, dwarf,” Howe grumbled “You know that! Why are you so upset anyway, you have been gone for years!”  
“I've been sodding working! And raising my family,” Ohgren roared back “And now there is this blasted singing in my head and I can't sleep at night! I met some wardens on the way and they said sodding nug shit about helping! They just ranted about some blood magic shite and Surana not helping them! What the sodding shit is going on?”  
“Clarel is having a panic attack over this new Calling,” Surana said softly leaning on the balcony railings in the great hall looking down on them very much like an amused cat “I declined her mad invitation to join in this foolish endeavour, much like she has declined to help me and Avernus in the past. She did not respond well, and quite a few of our own Wardens left with her. I've been continuing my own research, and been off for a while,”  
“Well sodding bloody good, there you are!” Ohgren muttered and glared at Nathaniel  
“I had no idea he was home,” Nathaniel muttered back at the dwarf and glared at his commander “It is not like he ever tells me anything,”  
“I just came back. Ohgren, is your stone sense still good?”  
“Yeah, how so?” the dwarf was breaking up a new casket of ale  
“I'm heading for a thaig, and I always feel better with my trusty berserk accompanying me in the Deep Roads,” Surana said and went downstairs to the two.  
“Flattery is for bar-wenches, Surana,” Ohgren muttered “If you don't want to bed me you don't have to play nice,”  
“Good to know,” the Commander noted and sat down on a bench leaning against the wall, “Nathaniel, anything I have to know?”  
“Plenty, few things you will care about though,” Nathaniel sighed “The Inquisition is looking for you. They wish for you to join them in Haven,”  
Howe gave Surana an official looking letter that the elf skimmed and rolled his eyes at;  
“She really doesn't let it go does she? Says nothing about it being a trail for me killing her but...gosh... Is she that thick that she thinks I'll show up just because she orders me by the authority of the Chantry?”  
“Maybe she doesn't want to murder you,” Nathaniel pointed out eyeing his commander “Though I wouldn't blame her,”  
“Neither would I,” Surana ensured giving the letter back to his second in command “I think it would be rather healthy of her trying to kill me. I kill everybody who tries to kill me, only sensible thing to do, really,”  
“Preaching to the choir,” Ohgren blurted out while chugging some ale “Though you didn't kill Howe boy here,”  
“He wasn't breaking in to kill me, or well.. You never had the chance to attempt it did you? Thieves can be useful. Especially sensible thieves like Nathaniel here,” Surana mused watching Nathaniel seethe with resentment over the fact that he still was being made fun of for that one choice in his life.  
“You were talking about the Deep Roads?” Nathaniel grumbled glaring at the both of them  
“Yes, yes.. Ohgren, do you know of Kul-Baras, it is supposed to be a dwarven thaig?”  
“Do I look like a blighted Shaper to you?” the dwarf grumbled “No, no I don't know of it,”  
“Guess we need to go to Ozammar first then,” Surana sighed “I really had hoped not to have to go there... Nothing against dwarfs, but I swear, if they make me run around solving all their problems again I will level the bloody city into the lava,”  
Ohgren chuckled, Nathaniel looked worried and left to do anything but listen to his Commander and the dwarf making plans.  
  
“Do you have any others who are coming along?” Ohgren asked, sitting down opposite to Surana looking genuinely interested in the prospect of doing something important again.  
“I can't locate Velanna, and Nathaniel is busy doing everything I don't want to...” Surana sighed and drummed his finger against the bench thinking “No signs of Sigrun since she left for the roads?”  
“Nope, probably got herself killed like she wanted to,”  
“Damn shame... She was good with those knifes,”  
“Fine to look at too, but you prefer your women more broody then her, no?” the dwarf mused.  
Surana rolled his eyes at Ohgren.  
“Anders is dead, Alistair would be dead if I managed to even convince him to come, Shale is in her thaig reclaiming and looking at old stuff, and Zevran is in Antiva somewhere killing people and bedding even more... I'm short on people,” Surana muttered counting people on his fingers.  
“What about Morrigan?”  
“No, she is watching after Kieran, and busy,”  
“Too bad, I would have liked those hips coming along,” Ohgren jested gaining just an icy glare from his commander,  
“She is far more then hips, dwarf,” the commander growled “Do not speak of her like that. She is to be admired by her skill, her appearance is irrelevant,”  
“Sure,” Ohgren rolled his eyes “I bet it is her skill that makes those male urges rise inside of you and your eyes grow all lust filled when you two have been apart for too long,”  
“Of course I am attracted to her,” Surana muttered “But I do object to you talking about her like her hips are the main attribute she has. They are secondary, though nice, to her intellect and over all personality,”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Ohgren muttered and Surana rolled his eyes at the dwarf “So... anyone else we can bring?”  
“I don't know,” Surana muttered glaring at the floor “Avernus is dead,”  
There was a moment of silence. He glanced up, seeing the dwarf seem unsure what to say. Nobody except Surana, and maybe Morrigan, had appreciated the old Wardens company. Most found him creepy, or repulsive. Idiots, according to Surana.  
“...What happened?”  
“Templars,” Surana growled feeling that tight rage in his chest as he thought about it “I was too late,”  
“Sorry for your loss,” Ohgren mumbled “But then again.. with the war..”  
“Fuck the war,” Surana blurted out with a heat that surprised even him “Fuck the Chantry, the Circles, the Templars and the Mages for their fucking war! How is anything ever going to get done with idiots running around fucking everything up!? Fucking Anders and fucking fuck...”  
  
He found himself up on his feet about to kick a chair, but stopped himself.  
They were not worth kicking furniture over.  
He was just so angry at them. He didn't care if they killed each other over their stupid fights, go at it. Less idiots for him to deal with afterwards. However, when they killed his friends, disrupted his plans, almost destroyed his lifework. That made him upset.  
  
“There will never be a mind like his again,” Surana mumbled staring into the fire heating the great hall of Vigils Keep “Dead. Over some stupid sodding war he wasn't even a part of. Dead because they just saw a mage. Because...fuck..”  
His chest was feeling tight again, making it hard to breath. He forced a few deep breaths and glanced towards Ohgren who looked worried. Rightfully so, Surana assumed. It wasn't often he lost his cool.  
“Another friend dead,” he mumbled rubbing the bridge of his nose ferociously trying to calm down “We leave tomorrow. I need to go over some notes. If you think of anyone we can bring, come by and tell me,”  
“Sure. Are you alright?”  
“I'm fine. Sorry about that. I... I hadn't talked about it with anyone. It was just that. Just frustrated with idiots killing my friends and wrecking my plans,” Surana left swiftly to his study.  
He hated being anything but coolly in control around others. He hated showing emotions like that. He hated showing weakness.


	7. A nightly visit

The broody Hero of Fereldan and his drunken dwarf had been on the road for almost two weeks without solving their problem with finding more companions for the dark roads expedition. They were just one days travel from Denerim and Ohgren was making the camp fire, and supposedly later on was to make the food.   
Surana always had doubts about what that dwarf called food, but it was a pride thing with Oghren nowadays, so the elf endured. He, in the meantime was on 'guard duty'. He spent his guard duty peering over notes and trying to pre-plan as much as he could before reaching Denerim. They were going there to fetch supplies, and possibly some grunts for their expedition.  
Ohgren was loudly protesting his Commanders urge to go down to the thaig without strong people with shovels coming with them. Something about him not wanting to do all the digging.

The snap of a twig alerted the Commander that something was afoot, but by then it was too late. A faint smell of leather came over him and he was pulled down on the ground hearing almost like a soft purr being whispered in his ear.  
“What are the infamous Warden-Commander doing out in the woods?” the velvety voice of his assailant mumbled and Surana grunted, trying to subdue a giggle.  
He was the Warden-Commander of Fereldan, the Hero that ended the Blight, an infamous blood mage and the father of an old God. He refused to giggle.  
“Zevran Arainai, let go of me” he grumbled instead and tried to push the assassin away.  
Zevran was not a man who liked being pushed away, but loved to tease. He nibbled Suranas ear before rising and lending his friend a hand.  
“They are looking for you,” Zevran said eyes glittering with amusement while Surana tried to wipe the dirt of his clothes  
“Who? The Crows?”  
“No no, they tried and failed to kill you before. They do not wish to lose another of their stars to your wicked charm. The Inqusition. Leliana sent me a letter, asking where you were,”  
“How kind of her. What did you say?”  
“I said I didn't know, and I didn't. But I got curious, because all the Wardens are disappearing, and then I thought maybe you would need me to swoop in and save you,”  
“How thoughtful of you,”  
“Also I heard Morrigan was at court in Orlais, so your bedroll must be very cold. I am a very helpful friend, not wanting you to get killed, or cold,”  
Surana smirked, he couldn't help it. Zevran was possibly the most flirtatious and flap-mouthed person he had met and enjoyed the company of.  
“I suspected as much. You are a very predictable person, Zevran,”   
“Only to those who know me,” the elf mused “I smell our trusted dwarven drunk, are you letting him cook?”  
“I am. Do you know what this Inquisition want with me? I imagine Leliana would be pleased to find me, if only my head got severed from my body,”  
“Oh, she does not want to kill you. She dislikes you, not as forgiving and charming as she used to be. But then again, not all are as wonderful as you that befriend those failing to kill you,”  
“Just once. Most who try and kill me end up dead, as you know,”  
“It was my charm was it not? You are always so weak for my charm,”  
Surana rolled his eyes and picked his maps and plans of the ground walking back towards Oghren.  
“Zevran will join us for dinner,” he said to the dwarf who just scoffed;  
“I heard him. I didn't want to interrupt you two being all... happy to see each other again,”  
“Have you missed me too, my ale-stinking stout dwarf?” Zevran asked the dwarf as he leaned over the pot trying to decipher what was for dinner.  
“Like I miss rashes in my arse,” the dwarf answered with a hidden smile “Don't turn your nose up on my food, it is nug-stew. Good stuff,”  
“Exhilarating,” Surana mumbled “If she doesn't want me dead, what does she want?”  
“Still on about our Chantry friend?” Zevran chuckled “Maybe she wants tips on how to do her hair, or they need someone to lead their Inquisition and save the world? You do have experience leading things and saving the world, so I assume you are a natural candidate, even though you cut her head off,”  
“She started it,”  
Oghren rolled his eyes at them and concentrated on his stew. Zevran was still grinning and sat down beside Surana.  
“So, were are we heading?”  
“We?”  
“Oh please, I am coming with you. Somebody needs to make sure you come home to Morrigan in one piece, and there is always so much fun where you are heading. Never a dull moment,”  
“Fine, we are heading down to the deep roads,” Surana smiled, glad to have his friend with him.  
Zevran had a talent for taking Suranas mind off things, a talent that the Warden felt might be more needed now then ever.  
They ate, Zevran chatted away and Surana felt more at ease as he watched his two companions banter the night away. He stayed out of it, writing list of items they needed to acquire in Denerim and studying his maps, and didn't really engage in the conversations until Zevran poked him on his shoulder and purred;  
“I am getting sleepy, which is your tent? I would hate to go and sleep with the dwarf and drive you insane with jealousy,”  
“It is the one on the right. With the map cases within. Please keep some clothing on, Morrigan still has a deep fear of you stealing me away from her, and you know how feisty she gets when she feels threatened”  
“She is not here, no?” Zevran winked at him and Surana rolled his eyes with a smile  
“No, but I do not keep secrets from her. Especially if they would make her angry,”  
“She is hot when she is angry,” the assassin agreed and strutted of to Suranas tent.  
Their tent now, Surana suspected.   
“You are not going to … do stuff, are you?” Oghren mumbled looking uncomfortable.  
Surana chuckled, and for a moment pondered the idea of saying that they were going to do a lot of things just to tease the dwarf, but ended up shaking his head underlining a few words on his list.  
“No. He is just teasing you. I do not have the time to dally around with things like that right now,”  
“Well good,” the dwarf mumbled and took a mouthful of ale “I'm going tie in as well. Or do you want me to take first watch?”  
“No, I'll take first watch. I'll wake you up in a few hours,”  
“Wake the elf instead. I made dinner,”  
“Fine,”  
And such the dwarf wandered off to his own tent and Surana was again alone, guarding their little camp. He turned his eyes to the sky, breathing in the calm of the night and imagining Morrigan frowning and disapproving of Zevran being there. He liked her when she was jealous. She knew better then to fear anyone coming between them, but that did not mean that she enjoyed the thought of that, as she put it, 'whorish assassin' being all over Surana. Not if she was to be left out of the fun anyway. 

Zevran joined him after an hour, not long after Oghrens snores was loud enough to scare off any wild life that would have thought of coming near.   
The tanned blond elf slid down beside Surana with his head cocked to the side and mumbled softly;  
“How are you?”  
“Good,” Surana was a bit confused over the seriousness of Zevrans tone “What is wrong?”  
“... She sent me here you know. She worries, and if she worries so much that she asks me to come and babysit you then something is very wrong,”  
Surana sighed and stared into the fire.  
“It is nothing. She is being a mother hen, that is all,”  
“You look skinny, and pale. Paler then usual. And you are out and about so it is not a lack of sun,”  
“I'm fine,”  
“Nathaniel said Avernus is dead. That you lost your cool, and that the other Wardens left to go with some Orleisan Warden,”   
Surana felt a soft hand stroke his back as Zevran spoke. He felt his guard go up. He didn't want to feel weak and out of control.  
“It is just... people. They are idiots. I wish I could just... You know me. I get frustrated with idiots,”  
“Not everybody can be as charming and overly talented and competent as you and I, that is the way of the world,” Zevran replied making Surana roll his eyes.  
“Sadly. The worst part is them being idiots and putting themselves in my way because they don't get what I'm doing or why. They think they are so smart and really they are just being stuck up morons and hindering real work to be done that could save so many...”  
“Well.. I guess it is the blood. People are very squeamish about blood, I know, I make it run out of people too. Just with a blade, not just by... my will. But you are avoiding telling me what is really wrong. Why you look so sick,”  
“It is the Calling. It has changed, and is stronger,”  
“Is that why we are going down in the Deep Roads? Is that not a dumb idea if you are hearing that? Is this a suicide mission. She will flay me if I help you with anything like that, and I enjoy my skin. It is practical and pretty,”  
“I'm going to end the Calling. Forever. Cure it. I just need... more information. About what it is. How it works. If...if those fanatics called Templars had not killed Avernus then maybe I wouldn't need to but... I need this to stop. I need to know I will be here,”  
He glanced at Zevran and frowned when he saw a soft surprised smile on his friends lips.  
“Being a father really changed you, I like this change,” Zevran concluded “The Surana I tried to kill a decade ago would if anything have snarled that he wanted it gone because it was annoying. Not that he needed to have it gone to be able to look after anyone but himself,”  
“I didn't say it wasn't like that,” the Warden muttered defensively making Zevran laugh out loud  
“Your body speaks more then your words. The way you don't stop fiddling with the ring, that worried parent look on your face when you think about your condition. Is Keiran well?”  
“He is. They are in Orlais, I... miss them. But I need to get well, and I guess after that I will have to sort out the hole in the sky,”  
Zevran chuckled and fiddled with his hair;  
“You are a hero, even though you are so nasty to people”  
“I...what ever... I'm tired, can you take the night watch?”  
“I will guard you and the dwarf vigilantly!”  
Surana didn't give any response, he just smirked and walked away to the tent.


	8. Chapter 8

They headed into Denerim the day after, Surana kept in the background, his hood pulled up far to cover his ears and face. He let Zevran and Oghren do all the shopping from his neatly put together list, observing the city as their errands were sorted out one after another.   
It was not only the wish to continue incognito that made hem take a backseat, he had a terrible nauseated feeling that followed him through out the day.   
When he closed his eyes he could hear voices to faint to make out the words but still distinct enough to draw attention. Whispering and luring in the back of his mind. Calling him home. Down into the dark.   
He staggered as they stepped out of the Wonders of Thedas and caught himself on the wall before heading head first down into the muddy street.   
“Chief?” Oghren was looking at him as he tried to regain his balance and he could feel Zeverans hand on his shoulder.  
“I just... lost my balance. Must have been a loose stone or something,” he muttered and shook of Zevrans helpful hand and stood up straight “Let's grab some drink on the tavern,”  
Oghren didn't need convincing and Zevran nodded in agreement, eyeing Surana as they walked over to the nearby tavern and inside.  
The first things that happened was that the innkeeper glared at them and snarled;  
“We don't serve your kind here,”  
“What kind?” Zevran asked cocking his head to the side “Heros? No? I am terribly sorry sir, we promise we will not disturb any villianus deals you do while we eat our lunch,”  
“Smart-mouthed elfs and mages,” the innkeeper growled and glared at Suranas staff “Go to the alienages where you belong, knife-ear,”  
Surana sighed, too tired to keep his mouth shut and took two brisk steps up to the innkeepers face and mumbled in a low growl;  
“Say that one more time, I dare you, shem,”  
“Step back!” the man shrieked “I'll call the guards!”  
“Please do,” Surana said eyes burning with an icy fire born from pure disdain over the quivering man and pulled back his hood revealing his face to the room “I imagine they too owe me their lifes. Give us food, and drink, and leave us be for our visit to you so called tavern, or suffer the consequences,”  
“Andraste save me,” the man sobbed and showed them towards a back room “Yes, sir, only the finest for you fine folks”  
“She wouldn't save you, even if she had been all your Chantry claimed she was,” Surana scoffed at the man as he slid down with his back leaning against a wall.  
The man looked petrified for a moment, and then scurried off.  
“He will run for help,” Oghren muttered “Why couldn't you just mind control him? Why do you always have to threaten them? They will piss in our food now,”  
“They need to know their place” Surana replied with a sigh “They won't respect us, so they might as well fear us,”  
“Isn't that the kind of thinking that made Anders blow up a chantry and start this war?” Zeveran asked rather pointedly to be him.  
Surana rolled his eyes and tried to find some kind of peace within himself.  
“I do not condone his horrible timing,” he muttered after a moment “But I killed far more people to stop the Blight and to save Amaranthine. I just... He was just an idiot,”  
“You should have kept him close,” Zevran noted as he eyed one of the waitresses with great appreciation “He might have listened to you,”  
“Maybe. I see no use in playing the game of what ifs,” Surana sighed “Do we have any other errands to do today? I would like to leave this cesspit soon,”  
“Aren't you a prickly bastard today,” the dwarf muttered and pushed his pint of beer towards Surana “You taste it, I ain't drinking no bloody piss because you can't keep your mouth shut,”  
Suranas eyes once more did a roll and he sipped the dwarfs beer. It tasted fine.  
“No piss. So stop whining like an old lady and drink up,” he muttered quelling his stomach from throwing the beer up again.  
“You look terrible” Zevran noted as he sipped his wine eyeing the fellow elf “Do not faint on us, it will be terribly awkward after that little tantrum. The mighty evil Hero of Fereldan, with his face in the mud,”  
“I will not blighted faint,” Surana growled regretting the company all of the sudden “I'm fine,”  
“He said looking more like a wraith then an elf,” a warm female voice said making Surana almost flip the table in frustration.  
Wynne. Wasn't that old hag dead yet? Why was she here? Why was she in this blighted tavern at this blighted moment?  
“Wynne!” Zevran squealed and rose to hug the old hag.  
Oghren nodded at her for a greeting. Surana felt like an angry five year old as he refused to even look at her.   
“Not even a hello, Faeron?” she said in that tone she had used when he was a child and behaved badly.  
“Just go the fuck away,” he grumbled and tapped the table in a frustrated manner.  
“Do not mind the grumpy Warden,” Zevran purred and ruffled his hair making him want to smash a fireball into the both of them “He is not feeling well today and is not fond of all the crowds. Why are you here in Denerim, oh fair Wynne?  
“Stop mocking me,” she said with a laugh in her tone “I'm here to help Anora with the mages in Redcliff, Fiona has been given permission to stay there with her followers at the moment but worrying reports are coming from the area. The Inquisition is there too, looking into it I suspect, but the Queen wants her own eyes and ears as well. What are you doing here?”  
“Oh we are heading on a great adventure, we are...”  
“Zevran, shut up, we are leaving,” Surana barked and rose up.  
Far too quickly.   
The room started to spin and he had a hard time finding the table so he had something to grab on to. Bile and beer was forcing its way up his throat as his legs gave way.   
It could not have been more then a second or more, for then suddenly something short, stout and smelly grabbed him around the torso and pushed him down onto the bench against the wall again.  
“Water,” the dwarf barked as Surana swallowed the contents of his stomach once more “Well move it, you primped up elf! Get the commander some water! Boss, can you hear me?”  
“I-i'm fine,” Surana slurred and tried to focus his gaze.  
“Oh by the Maker, move aside” Wynne scoffed and pushed Oghren aside and put her hand on Suranas forehead.  
“Don't touch me,” he muttered and tried to get her hands of him, but she just scoffed again and he could feel her casting some spell.  
“Stop being such a fool,” she scolded and he could feel her magic work inside of him.  
It did help, a bit. The nausea lifted and he didn't feel faint for the moment.  
“It is the Calling, is it not?” she demanded to know as she pulled back her spell and forced him to look her in the eyes “You are dying, Surana,”  
“I'm not,” he growled giving her that determined look she knew far too well, “It is a phase,”  
He could see her frustration. He had always frustrated her with his blatant pride and refusal to bend to any kind of authorities. There was also a faint look of pity and sorrow in her eyes, as she stepped back and away from him.  
“You can not refuse death, Surana,” she said looking at him.  
Oghren was silent, glancing between the two, and Zevran stood frozen in the doorway with a cup that Surana supposed was filled with water.  
“The Calling is not something you can refuse. It is for all Wardens, and you know that,”  
“Fiona got rid of it,” Surana replied with some heat “And so will I. It is a simple corruption of the blood, I will find away. I always do. I will not succumb,”  
Wynne sighed and shook her head;  
“Even Fiona has no idea what happened to her. I know you better then to try and tell you what to do, but maybe you should spend your last days or months with the people who still love you, instead of running around the world trying to find a cure that you probably won't find?”  
“Oh fuck off,” he muttered looking at her with disdain “Like you know anything about the Calling. I don't care what you think. You know nothing of what I know, and I will not lay down and die. No matter how much it would please the lot of you to have me out of your way,”  
“I do not wish you dead,” she sighed looking at him with those big blue eyes continuing calmly “I wish you would gain the wisdom to pull your head out of your ass and realize that there is more to this world than you,”  
“Right back at you,” he grumbled and she turned to Oghren and Zevran  
“Try to not be killed because of him? I will leave you be now, before he has another tantrum,”  
And she left.   
Surana banged his head softly against the wall glaring at his companions daring them to test the consequences of saying anything that remotely agreed with Wynne at that moment.  
Neither did, Oghren just sighed and sat back down again and Zevran handed Surana the cup of water so he could rinse his mouth and clear his throat.  
A thick awkward silence laid down over them and Surana sighed after a few minutes muttering;  
“She is wrong. They know nothing of the Calling. They are wrong,”  
Oghren and Zevran said nothing, the dwarf simply took a big gulp of beer and the elf glanced at Surana and patted his shoulder before returning to stare down into his wine.  
Their food arrived, and some more drink. The poor waitress looked like she scared out of her mind and quickly departed as they had been served.  
Surana looked at his food, his appetite was non existent and he wanted to just get out of the city. Away from the people and their idiocy.   
“Eat,” the dwarf barked at him after another five minutes of silence and he sighed, starting to at least push the food around his plate.   
He wanted fresh game, not this overcooked excuse of meat. Bloody, rare, freshly killed game.   
“I will feed you like a baby if you don't eat on your own,” Oghren scolded as he saw his commander stare at the plate with a blank stare.  
Surana snarled, but ate. It tasted like ashes with grease, but he ate. Stabbing his fork into the meat and potatoes imagining that he was stabbing everything and everyone that was holding him back instead.   
Zevran tried to make some jokes through out the meal, and the day, but Suranas mood continued to be nothing short of foul. In his mind her annoying voice was on a loop;  
 _You are dying, Surana. The Calling is not something you can refuse. You are dying, Surana. The Calling is not something you can refuse. You are dying._  
He was not bloody dying. He refused to. It was not invain. He would find a cure. He was not dying. It was just a phase, a illness he needed to cure. He refused to be dying.


	9. Chapter 9

The last thing to do before leaving Denerim was to get some grunts to come with them, a few persons able to wield a sword and to move rocks as they reached the Deep Roads. Pulling himself together Surana set out straight for the city dungeons, knowing very well that honourable fighters these days never lasted long in his company. They all started screaming and flailing their swords when they saw him use blood magic, shrieking things about the Maker and Surana needing to die. He had no time for such nonsense.  
Thugs on the other hand, knowing far too well that they were to be killed if they deserted and to hang if they refused, often were of that rare calibre of men that they did not care about details like that. That quality of person was far more likely to be found among them anyway, there were always a few psychos as well but he had no trouble in breaking a few eggs to find a gem. 

Fort Drake was as solemn as he remembered it, towering over the city casting judgement and promises of vicious justice to be handed to any one breaking the law. Surana marched in as if he owned the place and tapped the Captains door within minutes.  
The guards all remembered or had heard of the last time they had tried to stop the Warden-Commander to move about their fort. It had been a massacre, but it was all forgiven, offically anyway, since he had saved the world right after.  
“Warden-Commander Surana,” the captain snarled, he had not forgotten nor forgiven Suranas last visit “What brings you here? Turning yourself in, mage?”  
“Don't be foolish, captain,” Surana muttered and dug out a treaty from his pocket “According to the treaty with the state of Fereldan I am here to get me some new Wardens,”  
“From our worst criminals? Guess that is the kind of company you keep,” the Captain spat on the floor glaring at Zevran and Oghren.  
“I need men who with nothing to lose. This is the place to find them,”  
“I should throw you in chains,” the captain muttered glaring at him “The Herald of Andraste is looking for you, I bet it is to rid the world of your evil,”  
Surana rolled his eyes at the captains hostility and sighed;  
“You can't refuse me, and you will not capture me. Just show me your most able fighters among the prisoners. I will not debate the spectrum of good and evil with a man who has more torture machines then Fereldan has dogs,”  
The captain snarled, but led the way down into the dungeons. Surana gave his companions a silent order to stay on their guard, in case the Captain decided to try his luck and capture them.  
“So, Andraste has sent a Herald has she?” he asked the captains as they passed by rows of moaning and screaming inmates.  
“A fine man, even though he is a Marcher,” the captain muttered “Human. He was training to be a Templar when you mages started the War. He was summoned to the Enclave by Justinia herself, and when it all blew up Andraste reached out her hand and saved him. They saw her, as he stepped out of the Fade alive, she was behind him. Glowing like the sun, showing us our saviour and that the Maker has given us a new champion against evil,”  
“How inspiring,”  
“Do not mock the Herald of Andraste! He holds a place within the heavens you could only dream of!”  
Surana glanced at Zevran and Oghren, highly amused by the sudden piousness of the Captain. They discreetly shook their heads, knowing the Hero of Fereldan was highly tempted to start pushing all the captains buttons and mock this new founded religious side of him.  
He kept quiet, just walking behind the captain containing himself to a smug grin.  
Andraste had sent someone back from the Fade, huh? Sure. That was plausible, if someone had not poured dragon blood on her ashes during the last Blight. Destroying the ashes and breaking the magic holding what ever spirit was within them.  
People. They were so gullible.  
He stopped grinning, going back to his neutral aloof look as the captain stopped in front of a cell and glared at him;  
“This knife-ear killed 7 of my men before we captured him. Might suit you, I think,”  
Surana stepped forward and looked into the cell, seeing a scrawny starved excuse of an elf within. Female with Dalish tattoos.  
“Aneth ara, Lethallan,” he said and saw her head snap up and try and see who it was who spoke to her.  
“Garas quenathra?” was her cautios response filled with suscipion and misstrust.  
He smiled a bit, she seemed bright. Not assuming it was a friend who had come just because they spoke her language.  
“Ar lasa mala revas,” he promised “ Ir Faeron Surana,”  
She gasped and pulled back into her cell, not the reaction he had hoped for.  
“The Warden-Commander?” she asked and he nodded.  
“Yes. I can give you your life, and freedom,”  
“The Wardens is not freedom nor life,” she replied “It is a slow death,”  
“Everything is a slow death,” Surana answered gesturing for the captain to open the cell “But you can now choose, do you want to die by these shems hands or for a greater cause?”  
She didn't answer, and as the door opened up Surana stepped in and knelt by her, looking over her injuries.  
Torture. He snarled a bit. Her feet were dislocated and she had several wounds that needed some kind of treatment.  
He dispised this kind of waste.  
“What did you do?”  
“I've already told...” the captain began but Surana just raised a hand to silence him.  
“I asked her, not you, dog,” he said with words filled with poison.  
She was shivering, staring at the captain rather then listening to the Warden.  
“Lethallan, why are you here?”  
“I killed his men,” she answered with a low growl “They came to the alienage, they came for my clansman. He only wanted to visit his family. He was born here, but ran away after the guard wanted to kill him for defending his loved one. They raped and killed her. I covered his escape,”  
“She assisted a known murderer to get out of our grasp. She is insane,”  
“No. Not more then you, anyway,” Surana muttered “You will not be able to return to your clan if you come with me. I demand loyalty towards the Wardens and our goal. Do you know our motto?”  
“In Peace, Vigilance. In War, Victory. In Death, Sacrifice,” she mumbled “What is it now?”  
“For the moment, peace. That does not mean that it will be safe. What is your name?”  
“Neva,”  
“Great. Captain, I hereby conscript Neva from your care into the Gray Wardens. Anybody else you want me to see?”  
“There is a few..” the captain grumbled  
Surana gave him a nod and held his hand over his new recruits legs, reaching into the fade and wrapping them with magic to heal her injuries enough to make her able to move on her own.  
Oghren eyed the elf as she left the cell and looked at Surana with a raised eyebrow;  
“I thought we were getting muscle, Commander?”  
“We are, but scouts are just as important. We want to see them coming, it will make it so much easier to crush them,” Surana replied and walked down the hallway to see the next candidate.  
  
Out of the 12 the Captain showed him 4 others were worthy and seemed smart enough to know they would need to follow Suranas lead.  
Hansel, who was a former mercenary from the Free Marches that had been caught murdering some noble for gold. Jana, a Denerim native that had kept and defended mages sought by the templars and worked as a bodyguard for various merchant during her lifetime. Kolt, a theif gone murderer skilled with his daggers, and Dan who also was a former mercenary and had tried to free Hansel form Fort Drake not long ago.  
Dan and Hansel did seem to have some honour, whether that was good or not Surana wasn't sure about. Jana was hardened and jumped at the chance to join the Wardens, a good catch over all. Kolt was to be watched. Surana knew his type, he would try to bolt as soon as they were a safe distance from Denerim, possibly try to murder them in their sleep so they couldn't follow.  
Leading his band of misfits out of the town he looked at Zevran and mumbled;  
“Kolt will try and run away, keep an eye on him. Kill him if need be, but I would prefer if we didn't lose anyone before the Joining,”  
“Will do. Do you want me to befriend the little weasel?”  
“Do as you see fit. I trust your skills to handle the matter,”  
The tanned elf smiled and fell back, starting to tell stories of his adventures around the world. Surana shook his head and smiled softly, so predictable.  
Neva came up by his side as Zevran disappeared and looked at him, trying to read her new Commander.  
“Where are we heading?” she asked and he pointed in land “Very funny, I see the road. Are we Gray Wardens now? Is that it?”  
“No, it is not. There is an initiation, something that will tie you all to the order for the rest of your lifes. It will have to wait a week or so though I would guess,”  
“There isn't a Blight, so why are you recruiting?”  
“You think the world safe just because there isn't a blight?” he scoffed “Oghren, tell our Dalish friend about the Deep Roads. I'm scouting a head,”  
“Your a mage,” she scoffed “What do you know of...”  
The dalish ranger fell silent as the Hero of Fereldan turned into a raven in front of their eyes and flew away. Oghren laughed like a mad man at the recruits shocked expressions and chuckled;  
“Oh he knows a thing or two, lassy, now... Let me tell you about the blighted Deep Roads, and the rest of you should listen up as well. It might save your lifes”


	10. A meeting in the woods

It took the group a good two weeks to reach the entrance to the deep roads that Surana thought would lead them to the right thaig, Kolt had still not made his attempt to run and the others were getting along rather well. Jana, Dan and Henselt were outright friendly by now, sharing war stories and bonding over the life of being a warrior.   
Neva often sat by them even though she seldom spoke. Surana could see the longing in her eyes, she was missing her clan, and she was still suspicious of the shems. Kolt had tried to talk to the others about his life, but they did not find his stories of burglary and murder as entertaining as he did.   
The sun was beginning its decent when they reached the downtrodden ancient gate that led down to the Deep Roads, making the mountain glow in an ominous red shade.   
Surana swigged his potion of elfroot, crystal grace and Prohet's Laurel which now had become a daily routine for him as it kept the sickness at bay at least temporary. He saw Neva eye him as he did, as well as Dan and Henselt, but they did not question it. They all had grown a bit wary of their commander after they had seen him change in to a variety of animals during the weeks they had travelled together, and been fed Oghrens quite intimidating stories about him.  
“We will go down tomorrow,” the Warden-Commander declared and investigated the gate for a moment “I don't think we will have any trouble getting this thing open, Oghren, any insights?”  
“I'm not a bloody smith,” the dwarf belched from the campfire he had just set up “If it won't open we will break it down,”  
“I guess so...” Surana mumbled leaning his head against the door.  
He could feel them down there, scattering around. The song felt closer, nearer.  
“You will have a task down there,” he said interrupting his own thoughts by turning to his recruits “I want you to get five vials of darkspawn blood, and bring them back to me,”  
“You are not coming with us?” Dan asked with a raised eyebrow  
“Not first thing tomorrow, Oghren will accompany you. I need to gather some things in the forest so Zevran and I will do that. I am confident that you will return though,”  
The recruits glanced at the big doors with hesitation in there eyes and Jana sneered;  
“What is this? A test?”  
“Yes,” Surana replied simply “A part of you initiation. What good will you do as Wardens if you can't slay five darkspawn together with the help of one of our senior Wardens?”  
“But blood?” the warrior asked eyeing him with suspicion “Is there blood magic involved?”  
Surana groaned and glared at them all;  
“Okay. First lesson of the Wardens; We do anything to keep the world safe from the Blights. There are blood mages within the Wardens, because blood magic is not inherently evil as the Chantry teaches. It grants more power and thus is more dangerous to use for the unwitting mage, but if one is well-versed in the dangers and does not do idiotic things it is no more a threat then lyrium,”  
“Are you a blood mage?” Neva asked, with a shiver in her otherwise so proud voice.  
“Yes,” Surana sighed “Yes I am. And before any of you try to strike me down in some sort of righteous frenzy, I have fought my share of seasoned templars through out my days so if you attack me I will strike you down before you even notice. Understood?”  
A nervous and unsure 'Yes, sir' came from all the warriors, Neva simply nodded and Kolt looked like he had seen a platoon of demons appear behind Surana.   
He rolled his eyes at their superstitions and went into the surrounding woods in search of more crystal grace. Zevran and Oghren knew him well enough to see that Faeron needed some alone time, so they stayed back trying to calm down the panicked recruits.   
The forest was calm, and the sounds of dusk flew through the air. Surana took a deep breath when he was far enough from camp to not hear them as more then muffled noises. How he wished he could have done this on his own.   
This was the situation though, so he was not going to linger of what could had been. Staying close to the ground he started to search the forest for herbs, mostly Crystal grace for his potion but also other herbs that could be of use for them in the coming days. Elfroot grew in many places after all, but not in the deep roads.   
He enjoyed the woods, to feel the grass against his skin and hearing the soft sounds of animals running through the tree crowns above him or bushes around him. He and Morrigan often chased each other through the woods or played hide and seek with Keiran in the wilderness during their time together. It was not as safe as the crossroads had been, nor as reclusive, but this was the next best thing he thought.   
He could completely relate to his dead mother-in-law and why she had chosen to settle deep into the Korcari wilds. 

Just as he had sat eyes upon a nice bundle of crystal grace the peace of the forest was broken. He scuffed for a moment, recognizing the sound of fighting immediately and then drew closer to the sounds to see what it was that was disturbing his peace.   
After all, maybe it was one of his recruits that had come after him and would be in need of rescue.

That was not the case. Before him he saw another mage, an elf but seemingly no Dalish, bringing down a bear. Surana felt instinctively uneasy as he watched the mage fight, his technique was not that of a circle mage. He looked more natural, but much more graceful then any Dalish keeper he had seen.   
Surana didn't like this mage. Not at all. Every fibre of his being told him that the bald elf was not to be trusted.   
He prepared to leave as it was clear that the bear would be at the losing end of the battle, but as he turned around and he could hear the bear fall to the ground the other elf spoke;  
“I can feel you, so come forth spirit, I mean you know harm,”  
Spirit? Surana knew the words were directed to him, and he scoffed as he took a step out of the bushes glaring at the mage making it clear for him to keep his distance.  
“Spirit? I've been called many things in my days, but that one was new. I seek no quarrel with you, mage, I'm just looking for some herbs,”  
The mage looked like he had seen a ghost. Surana could not recall ever having fought nor threatened the elf before, but then again... there were so many people that had been offended or scared of him over the years. Maybe he had just forgotten this one? He did after all seem familiar.   
“You,” the elf gasped and Surana felt him pull at the fade which made it easy for him to raise a shield against the bolts of ice that came his way.  
“I will give you that one without reciprocations,” he muttered “Since you clearly are panicked for a reason I do not know. What are you doing here alone, mage? And how do I know you?”  
The elf seemed to regain his composure and raised his hand in an apologetic gesture.  
“I am sorry, Warden, I mistook you for somebody else. I am just making my way back home, and then this bear attacked me,”  
“Bears rarely attack without provocation,” Surana noted and stepped closer, examining the bear “And there is no village nor cottage nearby. Who are you?”  
“I'm Solas,” the elf said and Surana fought to keep his laughter to himself.  
“Solas? Well... I guess that explains why you travel these lands alone,”  
“And who are you?” Solas asked ignoring the glaring insult he had just been dealt.  
“A Warden,” the Warden replied glancing up at the elf next to him “Just picking some herbs for my troops while they prepare the camp,”  
“Indeed,” Solas said clearly not believing Suranas words “And why were you sneaking around in the bushes?”  
“Well, I heard the fighting and when I saw that you would be fine on your own I simply was about to go away,”  
“Very helpful I see,”   
The sarcasm was so thick one could put it on toast.  
“But then I got intrigued when you mistook me for a spirit. Not many mages converse with spirits as if they were of flesh and blood,”  
“Many mages do not understand the nature of spirits,” Solas replied with an icy tone  
“Do you?” Surana asked burrowing his eyes in the mage, unsure of why he felt such a deep disdain for the mage.  
“Better then most. The Veil is thin around you, Warden. Do you claim to understand the nature of Spirits?”  
“Better then most,” Surana echoed and got an annoyed glare from the other elf.  
A bit like an old man glaring at a child claiming to understand the world. Surana did not appreciate the look at all.   
“I heard the Wardens had gone missing. The Inquisitor is looking for them,” the mage then said, watching Surana a bit like a wolf watches a rabbit “Maybe you should come with me, let me introduce him to you?”  
“I don't have the time to go curtsying for Inquisitors,” Surana replied with that aloof cool that had frustrated both royalty and clergy for years “I'm doing important things,”  
“Saving the world is not important?” Solas asked scowling at him  
“I am saving the world, hence not having time for Chantry politics. I've heard about this rebel Inquisition and its Herald of Andraste. I am not impressed,” Surana shrugged and started to turn away.  
The elf was boring, and he had to get back to the others.  
“Few things do impress someone like you,” he heard the elf mutter “As stubborn and blind for the world as always... well...”  
Surana knew what was coming, he could not quit explain it with anything else but the routine he had of people trying to kill him as soon as he turned his back.   
There was that slight pull in the veil, like the faint hiss of a snake in the grass and within a second he had dodged a flare of pure magic.   
He knew then that this was not some ordinary apostate. No mage he had ever fought had been able to just pull things that pure out of the Fade.  
The elfs face was contorted into the grimace of a predator.  
“So you finally show your true self, the predator,” Surana said in a low voice.  
His soul was burning with an anger and hatred he could not place. It probably was the adrenaline of facing a foe greater then any he had struck down since the Blight, what else could it be?   
The so-called elf said nothing, he just started circulating, waiting for an opening. Waiting for Surana to make a mistake.   
Surana did nothing, he simply stood where he stood and followed this Solas with his gaze. He could feel the veil crackle with energy when Solas came closer and prepared himself for demons. It was impossible for any mage, even himself, to possess such control over the fade.   
This wasn't an elf. He was something else. Probably a demon, possessing an elf.   
A demon named Solas. It was unusual for them to have such an evolved sense of humour.   
“I'm not going to give in to you,” he said meeting Solas eyes with a stern gaze “I know who and what you are, Solas, but I'm not giving in to you nor your intimidation. This is my world, not yours. Be gone,”  
It was a simple thing, the oldest purest form of magic. Words. He filled everyone with the intention of banishing the demon before him, saturating them with magic. Then with that simple phrase at the end he released them into the world. Forming it after his will. Solas got wide-eyed and stumbled, but he did not disappear as planned. The body still stood there, even though his power felt greatly diminished.  
“What did you do?!” the bald elf barked “How..? You can not! You are mortal!”  
Surana smirked. Oh how he loved when they panicked, even though he was just as surprised as his opponent over the results.  
“You can thank me some other day. Now I probably should kill you, but the demon seems to be gone. Usually the host body die when I do that, but you live it seems. Well... I can't have everything I guess,”  
Solas stared at him as if he was a maniac, an all to common reaction, and snarled;  
“You don't even know what powers you dip into. Oh the arrogance! You are the embodiment of elfish arrogance!”  
“Warden-Commander! Warden-Commander! Are you all right!? We saw a bright flash!”   
It was Dan and Henselt coming charging out of the wood works, shortly followed by Jana and Oghren.  
“I'm fine,” Surana replied and turned to them “Just an angry apostate and a demon, I guess we found something to use as a lesson on when mages go bad,”  
“Eh... boss...” Oghren looked confused as he searched the clearing with his gaze “Not if you disintegrated that mage or demon,”  
“What are you talking about? He is..” Surana turned back to point at the elf and felt a flash of rage when the elf was nowhere to be seen “He escaped... Of all the blighted things in this world.. how?! I drained his magic! He was..!”  
“It's fine, sir,” Henselt said with a trembling voice “Maybe we can take that lesson just... as a theoretical thing?”  
“Yeah..” Dan mumbled “I really don't feel like I need to see an abomination up close right this second,”  
“And that is the attitude that will get you killed,” Surana sighed “Always take the chance to study an enemy if has been brought to its knees. It will help you find its weak spots without having to fight it at its full strength,”  
“Sure but...”  
“And stop being so terribly afraid of magic, it is as natural as poison,”   
He grabbed the bundle of crystal grace he had come for and stomped back to the camp, utterly outraged about that Solas escaping.


	11. Friends and farewells

The small party went back to camp, Surana starting preparation for his potions straight away while the others started to get ready for some sleep. He could not shake the feeling of that he knew that bald elf and that it was bad news to see him again. That he could not be trusted.

"Are you taking the first watch?" Ohgren was watching him from the other side of the camp fire.

"I am. This needs to brew an hour or two anyway, get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow,"

"Do you plan to do the ritual tomorrow?"

Surana nodded, he needed to get these recruits initiated as soon as possible. It was a fools mission to go down there without uninitiated recruits.

"Zevran, I want to talk to you before you go to sleep," he said as the elf came strolling back after taking a piss in the woods.

Zevran nodded and joined them at the fire;

"What can I do for you, oh dark lord of the Wardens?"

"I want you to head to Antiva,"

"But that is not where you are heading," the assassin protested with a confused looked "We were going on adventure,"

"I need to know what the Inquisition is up to. I have this... hunch. That elf that attacked me said that the Wardens were missing, and that the Inquisitor was looking for them. Do not give up my location, but find what you can of what they know, and where the Wardens are. This feels like bad news. Morrigan said this Inquisitor had re-instated the Templars, chances are big that he will not be friendly towards the Wardens nor our stand on magic,"

"Of course," Zevran replied his brown eyes resting on Suranas weathered and scarred face "How will I contact you? I can not run back and forth between the Deep Roads and Antiva every fortnight, I would have no time for fun then,"

Surana dug deep into his bag and took out a crystal handing it to his tanned friend.

"Take this. I will contact you through it,"

"A gem?" the elf weighed the stone between his hands doubtfully eyeing Surana "Do you want me to buy a pigeon, especially trained to track Wardens maybe?"

"It is an ancient Tevinter technique, probably elven to begin with. Do not break it, Zevran. It took me years to recreate the ritual and to make it work. And don't tell anyone. People hate when I succeed in doing things that are 'impossible',"

Zevran nodded and put the gem in his pocket.

"Do Morrigan have one too?"

"No..." Surana sighed "I have not had time to make more, and frankly, we have other means of communication,"

"Spooky," the elf purred "Is this a token of your love? Are you hiding me from her?"

"Don't flatter yourself. You are a treasure, but you could never be my Morrigan," Surana scoffed stirring in his pot once more "Decide for yourself if you go tonight or tomorrow, I just need you to keep me informed,"

"Will do. If you promise not to go and get eaten or disappear in those dark underground roads," Zevran said and started packing his stuff "And if you let me braid your hair before I go,"

The elfs eyes twinkled with delight, Surana just rolled his and nodded.

"Fine. I need it redone anyway, pack your things and then braid my hair,"

Oghren scoffed at them and muttered something about prissy elves before he went to his bedroll chugging down some home-brewed spirits to help him go to sleep.

Surana would never admit it, but he enjoyed having someone tend to his hair. In the tower he had kept it about shoulder length and often in a ponytail, but these last few years he had allowed it to grow a bit longer. It reached down his chest now, and had a soft wave to it that made Morrigan possibly green with jealousy. She never admitted it, but he knew.

Zevran was humming on a cheerful folky tune as he sat down behind the Warden commander with a comb and reached around unbuttoning Suranas cloak and pulling it back so the fur-lined hood wouldn't get caught while he worked on the hair.

He chuckled as he started to untangle and comb through the black mane of the commander, whispering in a theatrical voice;

"Don't panic, but I see greys in here,"

"I know. And why would I panic over that?" Surana replied.

He was enjoying the assassins skilled fingers running along his scalp and the slight pull when he ran into a tangle or knot.

"I am a Grey Warden, am I not?"

Zevran laughed, a laugh ringing out like a silver bell and rested his chin at Suranas shoulder for a moment.

"A pun? From my grumpy warden? What has the world come to, my friend?"

"I've saved that one, going to try it on Morrigan as well but you are far more fond of puns than she is," Surana mumbled feeling his body relax a bit "I'm... I'll miss you down in those blighted roads. We could use your humour down there,"

"It is a bit bleak down there no? I am not sad to not be going there, to be honest. A man of my beauty should be in well lit places, preferably naked on a sofa with pretty ladies admiring and painting my picture"

"And that is where we differ," Surana sighed "I could never do that. I wish I could just... settle down, study magic and the world with Morrigan, have Keiran safe and people not bothering us. Maybe in a nice comfortable house in a nice forest,"

"Sounds boring, how are you going to come swooping in and saving everybody then?"

"I don't want to. I want people to save themselves. Did you miss the do not bother me part?"

Zevran nodded softly and continued to comb Suranas hair while the Warden stirred his pot and missed Morrigan and Keiran.

"If we don't make it out of the deep roads I need you to give her something,"

"What would that be? And I am doubting that I should, dear Morrigan might bite my head off if that were to happen,"

"There is a map in my map case... Give me a moment," he dug through his bag once more and got out the right map "I need you to deliver it to her. It is important,"

"Is it a treasure map?" the elf mused and Surana rolled his eyes.

"No," he said.

It was not quite true, it was a map of all Eluvians he had mapped through out the years, and some deposits of things he had left behind for rainier days.

He was not one to not prepare for the worst.

There was no need to tell Zevran that though, because even if Surana trusted the assassin with his life he would never be dumb enough to trust him with his riches.

"But you do intend to come back from the roads do you not?" Zevran asked putting the map in his own map case.

"Yes," Surana replied and added some lyrium powder to his potion "I however always plan for the worst,"

"It is a healthy attitude," Zevran agreed "I bet it is what has kept you alive through all the people wanting you dead. And I like you alive, I bet a dead Surana would be no fun at all,"

"I doubt that too," Surana mumbled and felt a chill go up his spine as Zevran reached out and stroke his ear as he sat down behind the Commander again and began to separate pieces of hair and to braid.

The two fell silent, a natural state for Surana. He enjoyed being silent with friends. Zevran, not so much. It seemed as if the smart-mouthed assassin was sensing that it might be the last night they spent together though, or maybe he had bitten his tongue. Surana didn't know.

They stayed like that for hours though, simply enjoying each others company with the odd remark coming from Zeveran about Suranas hair.

"Don't die down there," Zevran said as he passed Surana some more elfroot extract for the potion and Surana scoffed, making Zevran pull his hair a bit and say again, more earnest and demanding;

"I am serious. Do not die. I know the world has a picture of you being mean and possibly evil, but... I feel a lot safer knowing that you are out here, somewhere, trying to keep it going. Stopping it from self-destruction and evil beings eating us. We have a hole in the sky, Surana. I think we will need you to save the world again. So save yourself, and the Wardens, and come back up here and save us afterwards. Please,"

Surana smiled, a small dry smile, and replied;

"I will. I can not have the veil torn like that trying to raise a family. World-ending catastrophes really put a strain on that kind of things. How in the world would I get anything but demon slaying done in such a world?"

"You jest," Zevran mumbled still braiding his hair "But it's true, is it not? There will be a lot of demons,"

"Yes," Surana replied and reached back squeezing his friends arm a bit to comfort him "I doubt you can't handle it though. You might have been the worst assassin I ever met when we first got to know each other, but you are a decent one now a days, are you not?"

There was that small, warm chuckle from Zevran and a soft mumble;

"I guess I am. If decent means the best?"

"You told me you were the best 12 years ago. You could barely get a chest open at that point,"

"And once more I am misunderstood. I am no simple thief, the amount of time I need to break in to or pick a lock to get to my assignments are very rare, dear Warden. I am an assassin. I get to my victims with grace and finesse, and with much more planning than me breaking into their house. At least I do not do that with every job. That would be too obvious of a clue. Expecting me to be an able thief of more than hearts is as to expect you to be an adept healer just because you are a mage,"

"Fine, you made your point. Still... You will be fine, and hopefully someone else has saved the world when I return from the Deep Roads. I doubt it, but feel free to hope that it happens. Maybe this Inquisitor can do it? I hear he has some control over the Rifts,"

Zevran made a sound that Surana assumed meant his friend somewhat agreed with that, and blinked when he felt Zevrans fingers trace the scar running from his left cheekbone over his nose.

"Watch out for Templars and darkspawn," Zevran mumbled and bopped the Warden-Commander on the nose with a small smile "I'm done. Your hair is ready for the Deep Roads, Warden-Commander. I will be going now, it is a long way to Antiva. I will contact you with news when I get them,"

"Thank you. Take care," Surana replied and ran his fingers over the braid trying to get a picture of what it looked like.

Zevran hoisted his backpack on his back and walked off into the darkness.

Surana sighed. It was best this way. The world needed Zevran, not as much for his fighting skills as for his temper. A storm was brewing, and anyone who could put a smile on someone's face should be kept as safe as possible.

The Deep roads was not the place for anyone but for dwarfs and Wardens. Zevran was neither.

Frankly, Surana had no wish to lose more friends. It was a small collective to begin with, there was no need to be stupid about it.

They were just going to head down there, find what he searched for and head back up. Cure the Blight and then he could get to investigate what that breach in the sky was for.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to concentrate on the potion and push the song in his head away. His fingers ran over the dent that marked his scar. It was a constant reminder that it didn't matter who you were, or what you had done, zealots would always only see you for what they feared. It reminded him in times where he was becoming too comfortable and feeling too secure that one never knew when they would come for you.

It was a lesson he had learned, a mistake that he had survived.

He seldom made a mistake twice. He just needed to remember, and to stay alive.

With the potion ready to be bottled and to cool he went to bed, setting up wards around the camp and telling Ohgren to take the next shift. Tomorrow would be a long day.


	12. The Joining

It was a tense feeling of suspense lingering over the Wardens the next morning as they prepared for their venture down to the Deep Roads.  
Surana spent most of the morning with looking for a lock mechanism on the door, with brief input from Ohgren mostly consisting in him pointing out that the experienced rogue of them had left in the night.  
“Shut up,” Surana muttered after the fifth comment “Zevran is hopeless with locks, and I know far more about dwarven mechanics than him. Where is that blasted thief we picked up in Denerim?!”  
“By the camp fire,” Ohgren said “You told him to get out of your face two hours ago,”  
“KOLT!” Surana barked and the thief bolted  
“Yes?”  
“I will put some ice on this lever here, I need you to get these pins when it snaps. You will have less then a second. Can you do it?”  
“I think so. What happens if I fail?”  
“I don't know but I doubt the dwarfs installed acid traps on a door like this,”  
Surana scurried up the door and glanced down on Kolt as he got into position.  
“I'll count to three,”  
The thief nodded, pale as snow but with a concentrated grimace on his face. It was good, at least his fear for Surana kept him obedient.  
The process went by so fast it was hard to notice. On three Surana snapped the lever with a crisp Winters grasp and a well placed slam with the hilt of his staff. The door rang out as Kolt got the right pins and the machinery started to unlock the door for them.   
“By Brankas smelly feet,” Ohgren gasped and Suran grinned as he jumped down to his men.  
“Good job, Kolt,” he said and turned to the others “Grab your things. Take a good look at the sky, it will be a good while until we see it again,”  
“Good riddance,” Ohgren muttered and stomped into the tunnel that had been revealed to them.   
Surana illuminated the top of his staff and followed the dwarf inside. It smelled dank of air that had stood still for centuries, fungi and dust.   
“We will find a place to set up camp first,” he said “Some place with an overview of the surroundings, defensible,”  
“Do you have a map?” Ohgren asked and Surana nodded  
“For parts of it, the Wardens did a good job trying to make sure no one got down here again,”  
“..And here we are,” the dwarf muttered and took a look at the piece of skin Surana showed him “See this? If it is what it say than it should be good enough for camp. Do you want me to get going with the test for them straight away after that?”  
“Yes. We need to make them Wardens, soon,”  
“A test?” Jana watched them warily  
“Initiation,” Surana replied and all of the recruits glanced around them with building worry about what that might entail.  
“Don't worry,” Ohgren chuckled “If this scrawny thing survived it, and I did, than you should be fine, right?”  
Nobody replied. They weren't at all reassured about Surana and Ohgren surviving. One was a notorious blood mage, the other a famed berserker that could take down smaller hordes by himself.   
“Ohgren will explain it all to you when we have found a camp,” Surana noted “He will also babysit you through the first part, just to make sure you make it,”  
“That is Warden care for you,” Ohgren tried to jest “We won't just drag you down to the blighted Deep Roads, we will make sure you have a fighting chance of surviving it!”  
“Oh great,” Dan mumbled and looked around in the dark tunnel “Soo.. how will we see the darkspawn down here?”  
“Let me and Ohgren worry about that for now,” Surana muttered and lengthened his step “Also, keep quiet. They do have hears and not many other things down here speak,”  
He was quite pleased with having no small talk until they reached the crossroad Ohgren had pointed out. It was a decent camping spot, and Surana began to set up tents and a small fireplace as soon as he could.   
Ohgren and the others helped, but Surana nudged Ohgren to start the preparations instead. They didn't have all the time on the world.   
“Okay, recruites! This is the deal! We will head out to find you all some darkspawn to kill. We need a vial of blood each from you filled with the blighted fuckers blood, than we will head back here to the Warden-Commander who will fix the rest of the initiation. Any questions?”  
“...How... How are we supposed to find darkspawn and kill them?” Kolt peeped up looking like he wanted to vomit.  
“I'll do the finding, and you kill them with your sword you fat little nuggshaper,”  
Surana hid the grin on his face.   
“No other stupid questions? Good, lets go find us some darkspawn to kill!”   
Ohgren walked of with the recruits following him much less eager than the dwarf. Surana saw both Neva and Kolt glancing back at camp as if wondering if they could ask to stay behind and help him with his preparations. They didn't say anything though, which was as well since the answer would have been no. 

He pulled up the fragile bottle out of his alchemy bag, it's dark red contents smearing the side of the glass as he whisked it a bit to see it was still good. The chalice was there as well, any cup would do but it was important with formality for these things. Chugging arch-demon and darkspawn blood from any old cup would most definitely cheapen the sacrifice Grey Wardens did as they joined the order.   
He didn't know how long it would take them to get the blood, so he prepared a few wards that he sat up around the camp to warn him if he got unwelcomed guest. After that he sat down with his scrolls and maps and tried to plan out another route down there. It was a worthless and simply time-wasting task since there was no knowing what roads still was there but he figured it was better to try and figure out how to get to the thaig based on the former expeditions notes than to stumble around in the dark without any direction, and two possible routes where always better than one. 

Two candles had been transformed into just lumps before he heard anything coming his way in the dark. He felt no darkspawn so he assumed it was his recruits and Ohgren coming back, and it was. He had not expected it to be more of them from when they left though.   
Approaching with his recruits was two dwarfs. Legion of the Dead he guessed from the armour. Why where they here?  
“Commander,” Ohgren called out as they came close “I found these two blighters further in. Their squad got decimated a few days ago. They are all that is left,”  
“Why are you down here?” he asked the dwarfs and one of them scoffs  
“Asks the elf. Killing Darkspawn. What are you doing down here, Wardens?”  
“Killing darkspawn,” Surana replied and turned to Ohgren “Is the mission completed?”  
“Oh yes, and not even one of them got killed. They got good spirits, these newbies,”  
“Pleased to hear you approve,”  
“...They are monstrous,” Jana mumbled and Surana noted that she had a nasty cut into her leg.  
“That they are,” he noted and passed her a healing potion eyeing the rest for injuries.  
They just looked shaken, which they would have to deal with on their own. He wasn't going to cuddle them about this first battle. It was only going to get worse so they might as well deal with all that now.   
Surana collected the vials of blood and walked away from the others to prepare the blood, the mystery was an important part of the initiation. He could hear them talk and worry between themselves as he finished up and he nodded at Ohgren saying;  
“I'll take them into this room, you entertain our guests?”  
“If you say so,” the dwarf said and pulled forward his meadsack giving it to the other dwarfs.  
Surana lead the recruits into an alcove from which the dwarfs could not see nor hear them.   
They all looked pale and nervous, glancing at the chalice that stood on a table in the far end of the alcove.  
“This is the Joining,” Surana said eyeing every one of them “The Wardens were formed during the first Blight. When Humanity, and the world, stood on the brink to annihilation. So it was when the First Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint,”  
Jana took a sharp breath but said nothing as Surana buried his dark eyes into her.  
“As those first Wardens did before us, and as I did before you. This is the source of our Power, and what grants us our victory. Anyone strong enough to survive the taint will be able to sense the darkspawn, it also makes it possible for us to slay archdemons,”  
“Those who survive?” Hensel asked with a shaky voice and Neva was whispering a constant no under her breath as she stared at Surana in horror.  
“There is no stepping back,” Surana said “I have chosen you all because I believe you to be strong enough, in both body and soul. This is our sacrifice, and as Wardens we sacrifice what ever we must to defeat the Blight,”  
They stood before him in silence. They had no real choice in the matter. They either drank the blood and took their chances, or they died trying to walk away from him.   
He gave them a few moments to make that decision, and then he took the chalice from the table and held it before them.  
“I will speak the words that has been spoke by all Wardens before me to welcome you and begin the Joining; Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you. Neva, step forward,”  
The elf stumbled up to him and he put the chalice to her lips, holding it loosely as she took a mouthful.   
His jaw clinched in anticipation as he saw her eyes roll back in her head and her grabbing her throat gasping for air. She fell to the floor spasming and then became still. Slowly he knelt down beside her and felt her puls.  
It was weak, but it was there.  
A small smile made it to his lips as her eyes flattered open for a moment.  
“She will make it,”  
It was good. It was always good when the first one survived, it made it easier for the others.   
Hensel took a step forward glaring at the chalice;  
“Get it over with,” he said between clenched teeth and Surana gave him a nod and lifted the chalice to the warriors lip.   
Henselt hesitated for a moment, but then with a stern look he took that fateful mouthful and thrashing from pain joined Neva on the floor.   
One by one they drank from it and succumbed to the taint. Surana had counted on losing at least one, and felt very pleased with himself as they all pulled through. It would take them an hour or two to regain consciousness, but that was all well. It gave him time to prepare something for them to drink and eat, he remembered all to well how much he had wanted to have something to wash away that taste with when he awoke from his Joining.  
As he walked back out he gave Ohgren a faint smile and said;  
“They all pulled through. Ready the ale, we'll do this as celebratory we can for them,”  
The dwarfs face split in a big grin and he nudged one of the Legionaries that sat by their fire;  
“Do you boys still know how to do that?”  
The dwarf just rolled his eyes and looked at Surana;  
“What are your plans down here?”  
“To reach a thaig and then see what we can find there. It is Warden business, but there will be darkspawn on the way to slay if you would want to join us,”  
“We can't. We will just rest the night here and then head back, we need re-enforcements. You should wait too, if you aren't in a hurry to die,”  
“I'm not. But we can not wait. The sky is ripping apart topside, and I need to tend to that sooner then later,”   
They nodded, Surana doubted they cared much for the ending of the world. The Legion seldom cared for much but fighting darkspawn, something he respected even if he thought such narrow goals were dumb in the long run.   
They were temporary though, and for the moment he had to make sure his new Wardens were ready for an expedition in the morning.


	13. Friendly Giants

As they came to the new Wardens slowly returned to the fire and none said no to the big cup of ale that waited for them as they returned.

Dan and Hensel sat tightly together staring into the fire, Jana paced around with a haunted look on her face and Kolt and Neva sat opposite to Surana staring at him with eyes filled with fear and questions but neither said a word.

Surana was making them a stew of sorts made by apples and dried pork. Ohgren filled the recruits with ale, and tried to break the tension asking the legionairs for some stories.

They declined to share any and after what felt like hours in tortured silence Dan mumbled;

“Do you hear it? The song? I can't... I can't get it out of my mind,”

“Ah yes,” Surana cooly said before Ohgren had the time to interject “That is the taint. It gets better if you keep yourself occupied, especially if you are doing something exciting. Like killing darkspawn,”

“...how will we be able to sleep?” Neva whispered “It is so loud,”

“You get used to it. It is a bit like Ohgrens snoring,” Surana replied and started passing bawls around the fire so they got some food into their stomachs.

Ohgren was glaring, but did not object. If the Commander wanted to twist the truth the dwarf assumed there was a reason. Possibly a reason he didn't want to know. Maybe a good one.

“I can't... It... it is so...” Jana mumbled and Surana sighed

“I know it is a pain. We all hear it. So, any one else that wants to whine? Otherwise I'd say we eat and drink to you all surviving the Joining,”

“Aye,” Ohgren added and pushed a mug in Janas hand and gave her som meat “It's like a hang over gal, you get used to it and ale will make it feel less overwhelming,”

She smiled, a small smile and joined the others by the fire.

Ohgren began to tell them tales of his and the Wardens adventures during the years. Surana just listened and was amused of Ohgrens attempts to make him sound somewhat personable at times.

“You will learn, I tell you, but that sodding mage is one of the most loyal of friends you can have. He will give you hell, but like any commander that is worth following he also is the first to wade through the sodding fade to get you if he needs to,”

They glanced at him, somewhat in doubt and Ohgren belched for a moment before continuing his tale. He told the tale of Ozammar, about how the Warden had allowed him to come along looking for Branka. How he had despite the promise of golems turned on her and aided Carahadin.

“Why would you do that?” Kolt asked “Golems could save the dwarf could they not?”

Surana shrugged his shoulders and answered slowly;

“Maybe at first they would only allow volunteers. It wouldn't last though. The mighty nobles would descend on those without the power to fight back like vultures and force them into eternal servitude within the golems. I will never trust a system where one is born to your rank and stuck there. I will never help slavery to exist. No one should be left without the choice to change their life. They would have become the mages of Ozammar. I could not allow that,”

There was a moment of contemplating silence and then Kolt mumbled;

“That's true. It sucks being at the bottom and every body else deciding for you what your life should be,”

Surana nodded. Neva frowned, locking eyes with her commander;

“But you use the right of conscription. You told us we had no choice but to drink that vile filth. We Had to become Wardens,”

Surana shook his head;

“No. I gave you a choice in the dungeons, you could had stayed. I have not locked you in chains on the way here and turned my back plenty. You had chances to escape. Aside from Kolt no one of you deserved to be in Fort Drake according to me. I would not have pursued you if you escaped. I am many things, Neva, but I'm not a jailer. If, however, people are to stupid or dense not to notice the difference of what I do to those who force others into servitude, then that is their conundrum not mine. I answer to me and me alone. Few contemplate morals and reason enough to be able to question my motives. I encourage you to try though. We need people who can think, and that are willing to change their point of view after what evidence is presented rather than sticking to untrue dogmas because it is comfortable,”

Neva didn't seem to buy it straight away, which he thought was a good sign. Gullible fools ended up like the ones that followed Clarel. He had not the patience nor time to deal with fools.

“Get some sleep, all of you, and we will be heading down to the Roads as soon as we are ready,” he said “Ohgren and I will do some scouting, but I guess the Legion can watch my newest Wardens for a few hours?”

The two dwarfs nodded and continued to eat their food and drink their ale, so he grabbed his staff and Ohgren before starting the trek further in to the tunnels.

“Should we really leave them?” Ohgren asked as they walked down a corridor and Surana nodded;

“Yes. I'm testing them. Will they obey and stay or make a dash for it you think?”

“You must be sodding kidding me,” the dwarf sighed “You know what? I think all elves got dropped as kids. You are so sodding weird. Testing their loyalty straight away?”

“I'd rather do it now then when we are down there. I need them to comitt to the sacrifice we Wardens do. To make sure they will stay. I can't drag them along, it will take to much time and effort,”

“...You dragged Anders along just fine,” Ohgren muttered

“And that was a mistake. He wasn't cut out for this. I should have just told the Templar he was mine and then sent him off to do what ever. It would have saved a lot of people, and us a lot of face,” Surana muttered “There we have a tool if I've ever seen one,”

Ohgren sighed

“Yeah... Too bad, he was a good guy until he went mad,”

“Most of them are,” Surana replied with a heavy heart.

“It is stronger down here, right?” Ohgrene muttered after a few moments of awkward silence “I can barely hear my sodding thoughts,”

“It is, much louder. Do not tell them this is not the norm. There is no need for that,”

“...I won't ask. You give the orders, I'll follow. If I don't know I can't disagree. I hope you know what you are doing, and I'll trust you,”

“...I won't encourage you to stop thinking for yourself, however, thank you,”

“Darkspawn,”

Surana felt them too, and gave his companion a quick nod to acknowledge that.

Ohgren ran up front, peaking around a corner and signalled five back to Surana, then he made their sign for in range and Surana sneaked up behind him.

“Move over” he hissed and peaked around the corner.

Five scouts. They seemed to be searching for something.

“They must have tracked us back from the other fight,” Ohgren mumbled “Blighted fuckers,”

Surana didn't respond, he pulled on the veil and sent down a storm of fire around the unsuspecting monsters. They had no chance. As their charred smouldering corpses laid on the corridor floor he turned to the dwarf and said;

“Odd for darkspawn to track someone. Let's take a look,”

The dwarf was already moving in on the bodies, poking around with his axe and keeping an alert eye down the corridor if there was others on their way.

“Hey... Boss... Take a look at this, this blighters armour has been crushed. I think they might have been fleeing something?”

Surana frowned and walked over, and Ohgren was right. One of the darkspawn had clearly dented armour. Bludgeoning damage, from something huge.

“Hopefully that something is friendly,” he said stepping over the rests to continue down the corridor “We'll go a bit further. There could be an encampment near by, and we don't want to run into that by mistake,”

Ohgren followed, after having put his axe in the five dead creatures just for good measure. They went down three more corridors, carefully marking their way by chipping away at the turns that they made so they wouldn't get lost.

There was signs of others coming before them, discarded pieces of weapons, scars from battles on the floor and walls. Nothing fresh though, until they reached the next crossroad.

A slight breeze of hot air brought with it the smell of death. They could sense more darkspawn, and hear the sound of battle.

“The Legion maybe?” the dwarf asked, Surana nodded

“Maybe. Would that make the ones at our camp site deserters?”

Ohgren scowled a bit, it was unlike Legionaries to abandon their post. But if they were so close to the surface, maybe? Stranger things happened all the time.

Pondering the question of why their camp guests weren't here fighting they sneaked closer, planning on ambushing the darkspawn.

“Any one we care about there?” Surana asked as Ohgren peaked over some rubble “If they won't make it I can just engulf them all with flames,”

Ohgren looked confused over what he saw and then a grin came over his face and he replied;

“I'd doubt you want that, Surana. I'm going in. Cover my back!”

And he charged in. Surana sighed, got up a barrier around them both and moved after his stout friend so he could see the battlefield.

He too was surprised. In the middle of the field a golem, around 6 feet tall stood swinging away on the darkspawn. Legionaries laid scattered on the ground, a few still standing and fighting by the golems side.

He chuckled as Ohgren reached the centre of the battle and begun to strike down darkspawn to the left and right roaring his battle cries as always. Surana fell back on support magic, making sure his dwarf and the Legion didn't take more damage then they had to. Casting the occasional winters grasp or cone of cold to weaken the enemy.

It was a quick fight, most of the darkspawn was dead as they arrived. As the last one fell to the golems mighty fists Surana walked over, helping the occasional legionnaire up on his way. His face was split in a grin.

The golem looked at him and if it could he bet it would have a raised eyebrow as it spoke;

“I see the Warden has found its way down here. And it brought the drunken and smelly dwarf. How quaint. It seems happy to see me, it figures I guess. It is still very squishy and small,”

“Shale,” Surana smiled “I am happy to see you. I thought you were at Cadash thaig recovering things for the Shaperate?”

“I was. Then I left and now I am here,” the golem replied and looked at Surana with her white lyrium engraved eyes “What is it doing down here?”

“Fighting darkspawn,” Surana replied “And looking for an old thaig, for research purposes,”

“Hmph,” the golem said “It is very much a mage. Do all mages enjoy coming down here to find old things everybody else forgot about?”

“It is what we do,” he chirped and turned to the legionaries “We met a couple of other legionairs closer to the surface, scouts. Were they with you?”

“Possibly. We sent a few away to get re-enforcements. There is a lot of darkspawn in this area, too many if you ask me,” their liutenant replied “Shale has come along to help us but yeah... almost got our asses beat earlier,”

“Did you bring more squishy things down here?” Shale asked Surana and he nodded

“I have a batch of fresh Wardens at the next crossing. We are heading towards Kul-Baras, any idea on how it is that way?”

“They seem to come from there, Warden,” the legionnaire replied and sighed “I'd tell you it is suicide to go there, but I doubt you will listen. You Wardens never do,”

“Well, duty is duty. I am sure you can relate,” Surana replied “Shale, do you wish to join us?”

“I will think about it,” Shale replied “It might need my assistance not to get crushed,”

“Should we get the others?” Ohgren asked “I can take a few of the legionaries with me and come back, and some of you can hold this crossroad in the meanwhile?”

Surana nodded, thought about it for a moment and nodded again. It was the best move, if there was a lot of darkspawn down here they would need to take the chances they got and cut through as quickly as they dared to.

Ohgren left, with a few legionaries. Surana glanced at the golem by his side and said;

“You look well. Is that a new crystal?”

“Yes, the lieutenant here has been very kind to find me some,” the golem replied “You look weaker. Are you sick? I hear you squishy types get all kind of disgusting illnesses,”

Surana smiled. He liked Shale. He wished more people were like Shale.

“I am,” he answered “That is why we need to get to Kul-Baras. There might be a key to my cure there. Otherwise... Otherwise I'll have too look somewhere else,”

“It sounds exhausting,” the golem said “Is Morrigan and its child well?”

“They are. They are in Orlais at the moment, Morrigan has gotten an appointment as the Emperess arcane advisor,”

“That is funny,”

“I know. I did not laugh when she told be though, it is good for them to be there. It is safe,”

“You have become squisher in your heart as well. Is that wise?”

Surana shrugged and lost his gaze in the darkness that filled the corridors around them.

“Who knows? I can't help it. Love does that. Don't worry Shale. I'm just as mean to those who oppose me as I ever was. I won't let the darkspawn get us,”

“Good. It must understand that it seems... less capable then last when we saw each other. It is sick, in love and thinner,”

“I know. But I'm a mage, not a fighter. As long as my mind is sharp I'm just as dangerous,”

“I will carry it to Morrigan if it falls. She was very good at matching my crystals and I enjoyed her company,” the golem promised and Surana nodded.

“It won't be necessary but thanks. Just keep them from poking holes in me and I'll be fine,”

The golem sighed and the legionaries looked at them with slight disbelief.

“So... do you know how far Kul-Baras is from here?” Surana asked one of them and he gave a slight shake with his head;

“Not exactly. Depends on how thick the horde is. Maybe a week? It is suicide though,”

“It will not make this one stop,” Shale said with an exasperated expression “It always goes where there is the least chance of it to survive. I think it is defected,”

“I'm a hero,” Surana replied with a half cocked smile “It is what heroes do,”

“It says that,” was Shales simple rebuttal “I will follow, to make sure it makes it back to Morrigan and its child,”

 


	14. Lost a long time ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a unusally long chapter. Hope you like it :3

They walked through the old fallen kingdoms of the Dwarfs for days, mostly in silence to not draw unwanted attention to themselves. The recruits met wonder after wonder as they for the first time was faced with the former glory that had been the dwarven empire.

Surana, Shale and Ohgren spent their time watching for danger, and making sure they didn't get lost in the maze of tunnels that they passed through.

 

On the fifth day they came to the bottom of a set of stairs that reached down roughly around 20 meters and Surana took a moment to educate his new Wardens about Paragon Moroc the Mau, who was depicted on the side of the huge staircase and was the dwarven paragon present at the founding of the Gray Wardens.

“His presence means that dwarfs do not lose their cast when they join our order,” Surana explained “This piece I would suspect is from about – 250 Ancient, it is reminiscent of the contemporaneous depictions of Caridin creating the first golems. Do you see the way they have placed his feet, it is classic for that era of stone carving and paragon representation,”

“Fascinating,” Jana mumbled with deep sarcasm she failed to hid “How does this help us, Warden-Commander?”

He sighed, the frustrated sigh of an under appreciated scholar and glared at her, and the other with their poorly hidden bored faces.

“The dwarfs are our allies, and their history and culture is important to them. To know where we fit within that helps in every way when we interact with them. And for the love of the Maker, some culture could do you all some good,”

“It should, also, mean that there was an outpost for Wardens nearby,” Shale noted “That one, your Commander, do get strangely happy when he finds old things. I imagine that you new much more squishy Wardens would want to keep him happy. It does have an awful habit of testing the squishiness of other flesh beings when irritated. Do your kind still sleep, commander?”

“Yes Shale, yes we do,”

“This place should have defences, maybe it is a good place to take that sleep. I can keep guard, since that flaw has been removed from me,”

Surana agreed without uttering a word and marched of towards what seemed to be a fairly intact building, it was barricaded but withered by time so there was no real problem of getting the magic lock of the door to fade.

As he did that though, he felt a stir inside the room. It wasn't darkspawn, but a stir in the fade.

“Oh for the love of....” he muttered and looked back to his party who were standing a bit back observing him at a safe distance “Would someone get themselves over her!? There will be demons inside of this building, I rather not fight them on my own. It is such a hassle to do everything myself!”

 

They all closed up behind him as the doors swung open and he hissed as he saw two glowing rage demons inside.

They all sprung into action as soon as they saw them and he pushed out a cone of cold to limit and weaken the fiends as his warriors charged. Shale pushed Kolt and Neva aside and stepped into the inferno unfaced by the floods of fire roaring towards them. Surana sidestepped along the edges of the room, cooling the demons as often as he could while Ohgren led the melee assault on them with Jana, Dan and Henselt.

“Kolt, Neva, flank them!” Surana roared while he noticed the floor.

It was covered with bones, both darkspawn, dwarf, elven and human. This was a tomb. The last stand against something.

These demons was the only thing that remained. The lingering hate and rage of the battle.

As the rogues sneaked down the other wall he took himself to higher ground, up on the pedestal of a great statue of a dwarven warrior.

He needed to get a clear line of sight down on the demons.

The air was shimmering of the heat and he could smell burnt hair and cloth from the others. The warriors was doing a good job, but there was no quick killing of rage demons with steel. There was another locked door further in, they were guarding something.

Something dangerous probably. That meant that he couldn't put too much energy on these two.

He watched closely, continuing his supportive actions of cooling and freezing the demons.

Ohgren glared up at him and roared

“Get them to stand still, I can shatter them by now!”

Surana gave a quick nod, trusting the dwarfs knowledge of battle and jumped down while Ohgren ordered the others to make way for the commander.

As they stepped aside he took a deep breath and laid down a final cone of cold freezing the demons to the core. Ohgren lifted his axe and was just about to do the final blow when a huge boulder landed smack on the frozen demons freezing them.

The berserk spun around roaring at the golem, who seemed to be smiling and Shale said;

“I am sorry. I just thought it wanted the matter resolved quickly. I was not aware the little stinking one had claimed the kill already,”

There was a moment of silence, the recruits watched the raging dwarf screaming insults at the indifferent golem and at the smashed pieces of demon under the huge boulder. Then Jana begun to snicker over the absurdity of their situation, and the others soon followed.

Ohgren fell silent and soon too was laughing at it all. Surana was not laughing.

He had begun to search the room for signs of what have happened there. He soon found his depressing answer.

An old withered book, still readable laid among one of the piles of corpses. Written in a neat steady handwriting in ancient Tevinter

 

_“_ _1002_ _TE, month and date unknown._

_We are stuck down here. The hordes keep pressing towards the surface, we barley escaped Kul-Baras. Kayli became gravely injured,_ _Alec and Briana has taken her to the inner sanctum of the outpost for healing._

_We should never have brought her along. But the dwarfs said that the roads were safe. Fucking liars._ _She so wanted to see their empire. I should have had said no. Too late know though. We just have to get her out of here._

_Our orders are to keep the darkspawn at bay until she is ready to move again. I don't know if we can do that, but by the Gods I will not make it easy for these monsters to have her._

_Drums in the deep. They are coming closer. Commander_ _Haron_ _said our best chance is to fortify us here and hope that they aren't too many to overwhelm us._

_I disagreed then, I disagree now. We are pinned down. They are out there, sending wave after wave._

_We won't get out of here._

_All we can do is make them bleed for their victory._

_I will make them bleed. For as long as I can._

_In death sacrifice indeed.”_

 

There was another entry a few pages further back, hastily written.

 

_“Briana has joined us out here. We are running out of food. The Commander is dead. We have sealed Kayli in the chamber furthest into the outpost. Hopefully they will come to search for us before she... We left her food and water. I hope it is enough. Briana has a plan, a plan on how we can keep her safe._

_In death sacrifice._

_Kayli, if you find this. I love you. Know that I did everything to keep you safe._

_If my death serves to protect you when my life can not, then my death will have to do._

_She will start the ritual now. I will protect you until the others come looking for us. Forever if that is what it takes. I will not let these monsters have you._

_In death sacrifice._

_We knew that. I just never thought it would end like this. We love you, my dear._

_If you read this and are not Kayli, remember our sacrifice._

 

_Haron Elvhen – Warden-Commander of the Alamarri fifth division_

_Hugo Prescott – Warden-Constable of the_ _Alamarri fifth_ _division_

_Brianna Prescot –_ _Senior_ _Warden_ _of the Alamarri fifth division_

_Alec Mounier – Senior Warden of the Alamarri fifth division_

_Declan 'Ranger' Weist – Warden-Ensign of Alamarri fifth division_

_Datek 'Cleaver' Ulret – Warden-Ensign of Alamarri fifth division_

_and if all fails; Kayli Prescott – child of Hugo and Briana, foolishly allowed to tag along by her foolish father._ _”_

 

Surana sighed and put the book in his and looked back at his own party. Nobody had come to look for them it seemed, or at least not managed to get by the demons.

“Shale move the boulder,” he barked and walked back to the others.

Maybe there was some hint on if the demons were the wardens in the book left in the debrief that had been their foe moments earlier?

Shale obeyed, and Surana clinched his jaw as he found a scorched and dented medallion for a Warden-Constable among the shards of demon.

“Damn,” he mumbled and glanced back at the doors leading further in.

“What is that Commander?” Henselt asked and Surana sighed.

“The remains of desperate Wardens. There will be more in there. We should release her...”

“Who?”

He sighed and cleared his throat.

“Kayli Prescott. Daughter of the first Warden-Constable of the Alamarri fifth division, which disappeared on a diplomatic mission to the cut off parts of the Dwarven Empire in the early late 990ths TE. They visited Kal-Buras it seems, but never made it up from here. Desperate fool...”

“Daughter?” Dan looked confused “Why would they bring a child down here?”

“I don't know how old she was. According to this book that I found they brought her along because she wanted to see the Dwarven Empire. The First Blight had just ended, and it is possible that they did not know how quickly the Dwarven Empire was crumbling. They had to escape Kul-Baras, Kayli was injured. They barricaded themselves her to let her heal and to hope for a chance to break through the darkspawn and make it up to the surface. That chance never came. The demons we just fought seems to have been two parents last desperate attempt to protect their child. Fools,”

He sighed and glanced at the others. They had grown silent and serious, contemplating what would drive anyone to become a demon to protect another.

“Demons are never a good idea,” Surana mumbled and walked up to the door leading further “I have no idea what could rest in there. Possibly a despair demon, or a wraith of a girl driven mad being locked into this tomb awaiting rescue that never came. Either way, we should deal with it. We may be a thousand years late, but these Wardens gave their lives to rescue her. We can at least make sure she doesn't stay stuck here,”

As he talked he walked up to the other door and laid a hand on it, trying to sense what magic that kept it closed and if there was something on the other side.

The book was written in ancient Tevene. Maybe... just maybe she had left a code word in their home tongue if someone came looking for them?

Pronunciation was always a guess when it came to dead languages but he based his guess on present Tevene and mumbled;

“In war victory, in peace vigilance, in death sacrifice,”

As he had hoped she had picked an obvious password, and his wording had been correct enough for the spell to break. A tingling sound could be heard from the door as the spell lifted and cautiously he opened the door. There was another door at the end of the room, and in front of it he could clearly see a magical circle with the crumbled corpse of a woman within.

Briana, he presumed.

A horrifying snapping sound came as her head popped up and he saw the dead eyes stare at her. Her whole body flew into rickets as the horror appeared. It screamed and he scowled.

Pride. Pride had made her lock herself alone to fend of any fiends from her daughter, pride had made her refuse defeat.

He didn't have time to raise his barrier before her first attack, and he was surprised as a big shield blocked his vision and he heard Dan mutter a rude curse when he got struck by the spell instead.

“Commander,” the new Warden barked “What is that?!”

“An arcane horror. Go get it, they are sensitive to damage, but she will vanish into thin air and is highly dangerous” Surana replied “I'll try to imprison her with my spells, but be on your guard!”

He got that barrier up and managed to capture the horror within a force field before she could vanish and reappear somewhere else.

They were many, and Shale and Ohgren used to fighting demons so it didn't take them long to take her down, but during the fight she hit Dan hard a few times and the fighter, although trying his best no to was visibly limping when it was over.

Surana passed a few healing potions to him and told the others to take a quick rest while he searched the room for more documents that had survived.

Left in the circle a single page laid, written in an elegant hand but somewhat shaky.

 

_“To whom ever find this;_

_My name is Briana Prescott, the now widow of Hugo Prescott. We are Wardens. The Blight was over they told us. The darkspawn had been driven back, into the Deep Roads and the Dwarf have Golems. The Golems will make short work of the Darkspawn they said. I told the Commander, and Hugo, that it wouldn't be that easy. That I had heard reports of the Dwarfs loosing their roads to the fight. The Empire is crumbling. They have shut of large parts to make it harder for the Darkspawn to advance, and thus shut themselves of from each other._

 

_We set out to talk to the King of Kul-Baras, a simpel mission, in and out within two weeks. Both Hugo, our Commander Haron, Alec and I survived the Blight. Surely we could handle what ever came our way with the help of our Ensigns? Kayli begged to come. Know that I forbid it. I did not want her to be in danger, but she twisted Hugo around her little finger as always. Used the very Blight to her advantage to get him to agree. I do admire her way to manipulate people. She will make a great wife of some Lord or Magister one day. Or would have anyway._

_Darkspawn took Kul-Baras, we barely escaped. Kayli got hurt, bad._

 

_I was not about to lose my daughter to the Blight. Never. I do not care what I have to do. I will not loose her._

 

_We fled here. To the last outpost for the Wardens befor Kul-Baras._ _Affectionately_ _known as The Great Ascent due to the enormous stairs we have to climb to get out of here._

_Haron ordered us to barricade ourselves in here,_ _they sealed us in here_ _to give me and Alec time to heal Kayli. Or to_ _initiate_ _her. I never told Hugo she got tainted. I should had but I couldn't. I couldn't tell him that his little girl was tainted with this filth. I thought that I could do something. Reverse it. Save her._

_We worked for days trying to find some way to make her better. Her wounds started healing, I had hope._

 

_Then Haron died. Hugo_ _told me through the doors. They have been fighting non-stop for as long as we have been here. My brave Hugo. He told me to remind Kayli that he promised her a new dress when we got home. He thought it might cheer her up. He always tried his hardest to make us see that silver lining._

 

_A few days more passed, she wasn't healing fast enough. She would live, but we would not be able to keep it up long enough to get her out of here. I had to do something._

_Alec protested, because he always do._

_I told Hugo and_ _Datek that a Shreik made it's way in here, that it killed him. It didn't. I did._

_I couldn't let him stop me. I have to save my girl. We all agreed to make the sacrifice, we are all Wardens. She isn't. She is just my girl. My baby girl._

_The Blight will not have her._

 

_I told them there is no hope left for us. Hugo was easy to convince, he already sacrificed his life once to save her. We both did. Datek wasn't as convinced but agreed. I used their blood to raise two rage demons to defend the front room until the Wardens come for us._ _I sealed her in the back room before I preformed the ritual with Hugo and Datek._ _I put a spell on Kayli, put her to sleep. The plan_ _is_ _to wake her when we g_ _e_ _t rescued._ _There is no good to come from her seeing or knowing of this._

 

_The blood on my hands is burning, but it was needed. I need to save my daughter. I couldn't, I can't let her die down here._

 

_I don't know how much time has passed since. I can hear them roaring outside the door from time to time, when the darkspawn break through I guess._

 

_This is my account. If I have died protecting her when you find this, know this to be the truth. If my actions demand judgement be that on my shoulders. She is innocent and shall be kept such._

_Her only crime was wishing to see the Dwarven Empire and join us for one adventure._

 

_I should have told her no.”_

 

Surana sighed and put the letter carefully within the book holding Hugos journal and glanced at the others that were watching him for a que about what to do next.

“Just the mothers side of the story. If any one feel a bit to cheery later you can read it. The daughter should be behind this door, or her corpse anyway. Possibly a despair demon by now... They are sensitive to fire, which..well... I'm the only mage. Make sure it doesn't freeze me,”

“We have your back,” Jana said with an ensuring smile and Surana gave her a quick nod and cracked the last seal pushing the doors open.

It was a prayer room of sorts. Made to accommodate all the different fates that could exist within the Wardens. It was big, maybe 200 square feet, filled with idols and statues from different old faiths. Surana wished they had a few days to spare, so he could study the place in detail, but alas they did not.

“Who are you?”

The ghostly figure of a woman, maybe 20 years of age, came towards them through the room. She spoke in ancient Teven, and Surana could barely understand her. She looked malnourished and sunken in eyes, her hair flowing behind her in a non-existent wind.

“I am Warden-Commander Surana,” Surana replied “These are my Wardens. And Shale,”

“Wardens? Where is mother and father? They told me more Wardens would come and rescue us,” her voice was filled with joy and happiness, with hope.

“They are dead, as are you,” Surana replied “I simply came to collect your bones so your soul will be free of this place,”

He walked through the ghost towards her remains that were resting upon a marble bench further in.

“What?” the ghost followed him “I am not dead! Mother told me I would sleep until the Wardens arrived. I have been sick yes but I am not dead! Where is mother!? I demand to see her, and my father! What division are you commander over anyway? I have never heard of you!”

“I am Warden-Commander of Ferelden. A nation yet to be born when you was alive. Four more Blights have pestered the world since then too, and your parents died in vain efforts to save you over 2000 years ago,” Surana replied as he gandered the bones in front of him “What kind of funeral would be appropriate for you?”

“No!” She gasped “NO! They told me they would come! I... Mother told me all would be well! The Blight was over! It was no more! The Grey Wardens slew Dumat! Father told me we would be safe! Haron and him would make sure I made it home!”

“Commander...” Neva mumbled “It seems to be upset,”

“It is,” he replied in common “It won't accept it's dead. I despise ghosts..”

“Do not speak of me like I am not here in your strange tongues!” she barked “Get me out of here! I demand that you save me!”

“There is nothing to save!” Surana groaned to her “You need to accept your death and move on! Tell me the rite now, so I can give you a funeral,”

The ghost shook her head feverishly and looked as if she was to cry. He sighed. He had no patience for the dead when they were acting up like this. He had been in spirit form, it was very different from being in physical form. Their denial of their death was nothing but petty stubbornness.

“Why didn't you come sooner?” she sobbed “Why did we die?”

“I have no idea, there wasn't even records of where this excursion went to. The other Wardens probably didn't know to which thaig you had gone. Your father and his division was classified as presumed dead in 1010 TE so that would have been... 8 years after your death,”

“Forgotten,” she whispered “... Forgotten here... What year is it now?”

“2035 TE” he replied and she slumped into a sobbing mess of a spirit.

“I was just 21 years old,” she wailed “I was to marry a Magister and have a great life!”

He held back his comment that she should have listened to her mother and stayed home if that was what she wanted for her future, it seemed cruel to point out.

“It's not fair!”

“I know,” he sighed “Listen, Kayli, I'm really sorry for all that you been through. I need to do the rite though, we are in a hurry, so please tell me what to do,”

“A hurry!?” she gasped “I have been stuck here for a thousand years and you are in a hurry to get rid of me!?”

“It doesn't seem to go to well...” Dan mumbled to Henselt from their place by the door “Commander, can we help?”

“Are you well versed in the burial rituals for humans, probably Tevinter, from about the time of the First Blight?” the Commander replied with deep sarcasm

“Nope, sir, sorry we can not help,” Henselt replied “...Can't we just.. burn the body? Like one ordinary does?”

Surana bit his tongue once more. Yes. Yes it would suffice to make sure she didn't got up and became undead, it would though most certainly not satisfy this ghosts wish for closure.

Turning back to the ghost, who know was raving about how she thought they might be bandits in their tattered armour, or maybe a bad dream, he sighed and said;  
“Fine. Stay here then,”

And left.

He did not have the time or energy to comfort a dead brat from the First Blight. To the others he said;

“We are leaving, come on. She won't help us help her, so let her stay,”

“Come back here!” she screamed “You have to take me with you! Stay! Don't leave me here,”

“Ignore her screams,” Surana sighed “She is just a ghost,”

A roar of agony came up from behind him, it took him a second to realize what it was. That was a second too long.

A piercing cold struck him in the back and he fell, his body shocked out of function for a moment. Frost spread over his clothing and skin, and he couldn't do much more then listen to what happened around him. He could hear Ohgrens berserker roar, Neva calling out to him and Henselt roaring back;

“He is down! Cover the Commander! Jana, Dan, cover him! Kolt, Neva get that _thing_! Shale.. ehh.. Do something!”

The shock went away fairly quickly, it was a matter of seconds really but time is always precious in battle. As he came back on his feet he saw that Jana and Dan had made a shield wall around him and he was shocked as Jana offered him her swords arm, armour pulled up so you could see her skin.

“If you need it, sir,” she said and he nodded grimly

“What is the situation?”

“It moves to fast for Henselt, Ohgren or Shale to be able to pin it down, sir. Kolt have gotten to it a few times with the daggers, and Neva is trying to shoot it but... it is to quick and it seems to deflect a lot of the damage,” Dan reported “What is it, sir?”

“Despair demon,” he grunted and chugged a lyrium potion.

The lyrium burned in his veins, a cold sharp burn and then that rush of power. It was a bit like being struck with lighting.

“I need to get a clear line of sight,” he muttered and the two warriors nodded and opened up the wall in front of him so he could see the battle field.

A quick precise release of power and he released a fireball from his hand, making the demon shriek in agony. It also seemed to break down the barriers it had up.

“It is vulnerable! Get it, now!” he barked at Ohgren, Henselt and Shale and they followed suite quickly as the trained warriors they were.

They made short work of it from there, which was good. The Commander fell to the floor as soon as the fireball had left his hand. He was shivering, his body still dealing with the blast of pure ice that had struck him. Jana and Dan propped him up against the wall and sheilded him once more, not that it was needed more then a minute or two. He sighed as the shields parted to show a red faced dwarf teaming with worry masked as rage;

“What do you sodding mean by getting struck in the back like that!? Are you hurt you twatting nugfuck!?”

“I'm fine. Just cold... Getting old I guess, since I can't take that kind of abuse with ease any more,” Surana replied and put out his hand to signal the dwarf to help him up.

Ohgren grunted and pulled him to his feet, brushing of some frost from Suranas coat.

“Mages, you are such a bunch of pansies,” he muttered “Well the demon is dead anyway. Should we stay here and let you rest, or should we press on?”

Surana sighed and looked around, he still wanted to study this place a bit. And he was awfully weak in his knees.

“It's free of demons now. We can just as well camp here, maybe we can find some more lost Warden documents,”

“Figures,” the dwarf sighed and glanced at the newcommers “I will tell you this now, never ever expect this elf to walk away from potential reading. He will find any excuse to bend over dusty tombs when you really should have him flinging fireballs all over the place,”

“Barbarian,” Surana wistfully muttered and limped over to a bench near the Shrine to Mythal “No appreciation for history nor culture,”

They all seemed to relax a bit as he jested and preparations were soon in full swing to make the site camp worthy. Surana took the moment to rest, and to swig one of his concoctions. He didn't tell them, but he was worried.

He should have been able to take that blow and fight. This needed to end. Soon.


	15. Alone in the Dark

They reached Kul-Baras without further incident, a few skirmishes with darkspawn but nothing major. Surana would not say he was sadden by the relative peacefulness of the Roads, he was still feeling weak from the blast of ice from the demon. He did his best to hide it though, no good could come from the others knowing. It would go away eventually anyway.

 

Shale and Neva had started to develop a strange friendship based on trying to insult each other in the worst possible ways. It seemed to cheer up the rest as well, Surana was just glad something kept their minds off him.

 

As they reached the city Surana started out by finding the Shapery there, and with the help of Shale he went through their records. They were suspiciously blank.

He searched the administrative halls, an old laboratory he found that was clearly not used by dwarves. Still nothing. Nothing at all.

Gritting his teeth he turned over every speck of the Dwarven thaig he could get to. Nothing.

For four days his manic search went on, until he found one lost piece of paper chiselled under a bookcase.

It was torn, just a piece of another paper, but he could clearly make out the words:

_Fionas cure._

_All research_ _gone_ _!_ _Kul-Baras cleaned._

 

It bore the marks of a seal. He thought he knew which. The First Warden. He had heard of expeditions heading here right after Fiona returned cured. They had come here to clean up.

They, The Wardens, had destroyed his best clue to curing the Calling.

His disappointment was too hard to conceal. With a roar he unloaded pure magical energy around him causing a whirlwind of electricity and spiritual energy to flare up tossing every piece of furniture in there around the room. The sound echoed between the walls of the thaig for minutes, while the Warden-Commander just sat there on the floor trying to think of somewhere else to turn.

He had no faith in Weisshaupt. All they did was ask question, they never answered any.

They had known about his research, and they had told him nothing.

“What are you doing? Did you find something?” Neva cautiously approached her commander.

“There is nothing here,” he snapped and pulled himself up by his staff shrugging of her helping hands with a glare.

The young elf backed away and looked at him with confused and somewhat scared eyes.

“I... That's too bad. What should we do now? The stuff you were looking for is important, right?”

“You have no idea,” he snarled staring at the piece of paper in his hand “We should get going. I need to find another way. Another clue. I need to go to Redcliffe, Fiona is hiding there with some mages,”

“Redcliffe it is,” she said and gave him a faint smile of reassurance.

He walked past her without giving her a second glance. Inside he was crumbling. Panic was raising and he could feel the world closing in. He needed to find this cure. Fast. What was the other Wardens hiding from him? Why did the world always make things so darn difficult? Just once he hoped he would just walk down where the clues were pointing, find what he needed and be able to get to work and fix the problem. No. Not this time. Not ever.

 

He didn't care that his new initiates backed as they saw him walking down the crumbled street of Kul-Baras eyes black as a stormy night and sparks of magical energy crackling around him. He didn't respond to Ohgren nor Shale as they tried to address him as he marched out of the abandoned thaig.

He was blind to the world. Lost to his desperation, fear and rage.

The voices in the back of his mind grew ever louder;

_You will end up like all of them. No one will remember the good you did._

_We don't need to turn you into a demon, Faeron. You have long since bested the worst of us._

_You are the monster people whisper about to their children to make them obey._

_You are the shining example of why mages can not be trusted._

_You know why Clarel did not come to you for help, even the Wardens fear you._

_They would do anything to stop the Blight, except working with you._

_The death of every Warden is better to them than to turn to you._

_Nobody will ever remember you. They will only remember the horrors._

_No amount of lives you save will change that._

_It is pointless._

_They will both be better of without you._

_You will only bring Morrigan and Kieran pain._

“No” he whispered and opened his eyes.

Darkness. He was alone in the darkness. He had no idea where he had gone.

As he lit the top of his staff all he could see in the dim red light was stretches of abandoned roads.

“Great,” he sighed pushing the ice cold clump in his stomach out of his consciousness “You fell for it Fearon. Bloody great. One blighted failure and you almost give in. Bloody great,”

He took a few deep breaths, forcing his mind back to focus and closed his mind to the demons and the voices of the Taint.

They would not have him. He was his own, and nobody else’s.

“Think” he muttered to himself “You need to find the others. Nobody lasts long in the Deep Roads on their own. Not even you, so think,”

There was another reason he detested the Deep Roads, not just the ever present risk of being burried in a cave in or falling into a river of magma. In a wood or any other surface terrain you usually could track back if you got lost or separated. There were always some way to see where you had gone and not. The Deep Roads? It was all just rubble, and if you hadn't paid attention to where you were going? You were pretty much dead.

_The only thing more dangerous than being lost alone, is giving up._

_Always keep your wits about you._

Morrigans words from when they had lived in the Wilds came to him as a beacon in the darkness. He would find a way. He had found away to survive the god damn Blight, he could find away to get out of this stinking hell hole.

 

His grim face cracked up into a grin as he came onto an idea so simple that he didn't understand why it hadn't been his first thought. He maybe not be able to find traces of where he had gone, his senses weren't sharp enough. Not as an elf.

He had many forms though, and more than a few that were better suited for tracking than this one.

He crouched down on his hands and knees and brought forth the visualisation of the wolf. He started with the image in his mind, and extended it to his senses.

Smell.

Hearing.

Sight.

Touch.

The world shifted for a moment, and the impressions crushed in like a tidal wave but he skilfully sorted through them and caught his own scent. The rest was easy, just following his own scent back from where he had come. He would easily find Ohgren when he crossed that trail, the dwarf stank band enough that he probably could track him in elven form.

It was much easier to push all the things troubling him as an elf aside as a wolf. He could just tune into a scent or a track and follow it. Hunt what ever he followed down, complete the task and be satisfied.

No idiots bothering him. No books that only gave half answers. No real responsibility.

Just him and his hunt.

 

The sound of footsteps reached his ears as he turned down a corner and the stench of brimstone burned in his nostrils. Blighted Deep Roads.

It was too many steps to be the other Wardens, but he could sense the taint in whatever was approaching. That meant it most likely was darkspawn.

A low growl slipped out his mouth before he slunk into the shadows and hid. He appreciated that they were around ten or fifteen from the sound. That was nothing he could take on alone just like that. So no matter how much it bothered him, he hid and let them pass, waiting until their steps were gone before he took up his trail again and continued his journey back to the others.

 

He backtracked for days, and for every hour that passed the shadows seemed to grow larger and the sounds more alarming. The loss of his pack soon grew heavier for every step he took as a wolf, and on the fifth day he changed back to his elven form in half a panic.

The trail was going stale. Growing weaker, blending into the different smells of the underground. He had still seen no trace of Kul-Baras nor the other Wardens.

How far had he strode from their path? Had he fade walked? If he had then he could be anywhere.

“Don't panic,” he muttered “Do not panic. Do not give up. Get a grip. If they left me behind they will have made it to the surface by now. Ohgren will take them to Redcliffe, he will wait there trying to look for some clue of what I wanted. Maybe talk to Fiona. I'll catch up to him. If his not there, he will be at Vigils Keep. He is not unpredictable, you can do this. Just get out of the Deep Roads,”

_Or stay._

The song was stronger now when he was alone. Wrapping itself around his mind like a warm comfortable blanket of death. He could hear the disharmony in it, he knew what he meant. Still it awoke a longing in him to turn back, to walk deeper into the darkness and to join what ever was calling him. To disappear.

He needed to get out. Up and out. It did not matter how annoying or barbaric the others were, their company distracted from the calling. He took point in the direction the trail had led when he was in wolf form, pulled up a chewed up and no longer moist book. It was just a long straight hallway, he could stay in his original form until he came to some kind of crossroad. The elf was in much less need of companionship than the wolf. He could distract himself until then.

Manically he began to read the first legible passage, focusing on the ramblings of the deranged writer to keep his mind from listening to the song.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how you survive, he thought to himself, just that you do.

All he had to do was to find his way up and to not listen to the song or the demons.

 


	16. Reunion

The darkness was pressing in, the song was more like a primal scream in his head at this point and he hated to admit it but he stopped to catch his breath more and more often. He was running out of potions. He had lost track of time a long time ago and it was the pure force of his will that kept him going and the demons at bay.  
He could feel them watching him, like vultures watching a wounded animal staggering through the desert. They would not have him. Not them. Not the Blight.   
He just had to find a way out.

There was a sharp bludgeoning pain in his knees and he realized he was staring at the floor, not a wall. He had fallen, tripped over an uneven part of the floor. His body didn't want to continue moving. If he closed his eyes, just relaxed, than it would all be over.   
“No” he whispered to himself and pressed his pale scarred arms against the floor “Not today. Not any day. Ir suledin nadas. Never give up. Never surrender,”  
He grunted as he pulled himself up into a seated position against the nearby wall and fumbled to get his knife out of his belt.   
This could go on no longer. Forcing himself to heavy steady breaths he cut into the skin of his left arm and pulled upon the power of his blood force his own body up and to start walking. It was strange, controlling his body through magic rather than by muscle. And risky. It did however pay off, as he guided his body around a bend he saw a sight that made his soul tremble with hope.  
Stairs, and the fleeting light of sunlight at the top of them.   
With a last push of combined blood and will he got himself up the stairs and stumbled out into the sunlight, grasping the grass and moss as he tumbled down on the ground and from his dry cracked lips a hissing laughter rose.   
In a pointless, but gratifying act of defiance he reached out his arm against the Deep Road entrance he had emerged from and gave the tunnels and it's perils a well deserved middle finger.

The sensation of fresh air, the scent of grass and nature and the sounds of the surrounding wildlife filled him with an almost unnatural vigor. After a short rest of letting the sunshine warm his face and the grass stroke his skin he crawled up on his feet again and looked around. He could hear a stream nearby, which was good. He needed water. He also needed something to eat, some herbs and a fire so he could make potions.   
The water ran down his throat like cool wisps giving instant relief from his fever stricken body as he gulped handfuls from the stream after having quickly washed his face and arms. The world always seemed brighter and more alive after some time in the Deep Roads, but this time it was extraordinary. If he did not have such pressing matters he would have taken a few weeks just to live in the woods and enjoy the calm invigoration life of a hermit.   
He didn't have that luxury now though, so he treasured these few moments of bliss more than ever.

The first task was to find something to eat, which wasn't that hard for someone who could transform into a wolf or a bear. After he had gulped down a few nugs dwelling by the entrance to the Deep Roads he started gathering herbs and did as good a potion he could without any lyrium to keep his failing health at bay. It took him most of the day to prepare that, so as dark fell over the forest he had walked out in he retreated up in a tree in the form of a raven and tried to rest.   
He disliked sleeping when he was out in the open alone and unsure of where he was or what was near by, but if he was to be able to fly and search for a settlement in the morning he had to gain back some strength.   
At that moment he was barely strong enough to shapeshift, but what had to be done had to be done.

As dawn arrived he spread his wing and with a bit unsteady flapping before he caught the winds he flew up and around looking for the tell-tale signs of civilization. What he saw struck a nervous nerve inside him.   
He wasn't any where near where they had descended down to the Deep Roads. He knew these woods. He was in the Kocari Wilds. Either he had been far more delusional than he thought, and gone far longer, or something was terribly wrong.   
As the moment of stunned confusion passed he took course on Redcliff. He knew Fereldan well, and the Wilds even better. It didn't take him long to know roughly where he was and where he should be going. How he had gotten where he was though... That was a mystery.

A mystery for another time though.

He arrived in Redcliff three hard days of flight later, shoulders aching and in desperate need of some hot food and potions. The village had recovered okay during the 10 years that had past since the Blight and he frowned a bit as he didn't see any apparent mages there.

The whole in the sky looked better though, so that was good. It had stopped growing. Maybe that Inquisition was doing something good after all?  
He could see plenty of their soldiers in the village, along with Arl Teagans soldiers. He decided to stay as a raven for the moment. He had no wish to talk to Leliana or that Right Hand of the Divine. Cassandra. Seekers generally were a lot like Templars, but worse, and the Templars were bad enough he thought.

Knowing Ohgren he started to look for his Wardens at the Inn, entering through an unsupervised window in the kitchen and circling the common room looking for the drunkard of a dwarf.   
There was no Ohgren there.   
Maybe they were at the castle? It wasn't uncommon for Teagan to invite Wardens there just to give them a lecture of what to do and to hastily leave after all?

As he flew over the lake, watching the village for his squad the lack of mages disturbed him. He knew Anora had given the mages refuge in Redcliff. He knew Fiona had taken them there. So where were they?   
He got his answer as he landed on the roof of the well in the castle courtyard, eavesdropping on two soldiers wearing Inquisition uniforms.  
“Apparently the Herald slew both the mage leader and at least a hundred Tevinter infiltrators when they attacked Haven,”  
“Yeah, I was there. It was horrible. We were all sure he had died when he collasped the mountain on that Elder One and his Archdemon,”  
“Is it an Archdemon though? I mean if it was, wouldn't the Wardens come?”  
“Oh, I have heard that that mage who led the rebel mages was a Warden. Maybe they have gone bad? I heard one of the scouts talking to Lady Nightingale about the Wardens and I swear, the Spymasters eyes got black as the night when Fritter asked about the Hero of Fereldan. I hear he is a blood mage,”  
“You think all mages are blood mages. That Circle mage the Inquisitor brought to Skyhold sure isn't a blood mage. Lady Vivianne is a really good mage, true to the Chantry and stuff,”  
“Lady Vivianne is good, yes. She knows mages are dangerous. The Hero of Fereldan though, I heard he saved Earl Eamon through blood magic, that blood magic was what got him threw out of the Circle. Mhmmm, heard that from one of the other soldiers. Herman, he who helps running errands for the Commander. The Commander was at the Circle of Fereldan when the Hero of Fereldan got kicked out, so he should know shouldn't he?”  
“I guess.. but he did save us from the Archdemon though,”  
“Sure.. but.. Oh! Here comes the Commander, straighten up!”

Fearon almost forgot he was a raven when he saw who that Commander was. Cullen.   
Would his luck never change? Did the cosmos really dislike him that much that it put Cullen, Leliana and the staunchest Chantry huger of them all, Vivianne de Fer in the same blighted organization? What was that crazy talk about Fiona attacking along side Tevinter infiltrators? He could not have been gone that long!   
He watched Cullen from his spot on the well, the templar looked older, stern but tired.   
“Report,” he said to the gossiping soldiers and they saluted him respectfully.  
“No mages hiding in the castle, sir! The Earls men asked us to give them a few moments to get a grip on if anything was missing from there, sir!”  
“Good,” Cullen sighed “Bloody mess this... Magisters in Redcliff... We can't be to careful. I want all the grounds checked on regular intervals, and all soldiers patrolling should have one templar with them in case a mage pops up. They do that sometimes...”  
“Understood, sir! Question to ask a question, sir!”  
“Permission granted, Flemming,”  
“If we find mages willing to join the Inquisition, sir, what shall we do? Are they traitors and heretics to be slain at sight or should we take them to Skyhold?”  
“By the Maker, Flemming! We are not re-initiating the conflict between mages and templars, if they don't attack on sight do not attack them. Anyone wanting to help fight Corypheus is welcome to join us. The Heralds orders are clear, we are bringing order back not continuing the war,”  
“Understood, sir!”  
“Now go get something to eat and drink,”  
“Yes, sir!”   
The two disappeared down towards the village and Cullen walked towards the castle, glancing for a moment at the raven on the well but saying nothing indicating that he knew it was more than a raven.   
The raven flew after the commander into the castle and sat itself down on the rafters in the great hall. There he saw Neva, alone, in front of the earl.  
“Is your clan near by?” Teagan asked the elf in a stern voice and she glared at him shaking her head.  
“I told you no, shem,”  
She practically spit the words at him.  
“And I've done nothing! Let me go! Or is it custom for the Earl of Redcliff to imprison any elf now? I thought you just banished Tevinter from your lands, didn't think you would treat elves like they do,”  
“Careful,” the Earl growled “We want to ask them to help the Inquisiton, nothing more, but you are testing my patience. Elf,”  
Surana sighed. She needed some help. With a loud caw he swooped down and seated himself on her shoulder, hoping she would run with it and understand who he was.  
Cullen, who had stood quietly waiting for his turn to speak frowned a moment looking at Faeron but kept his silence.  
Neva got a bit startled at first, but he saw a light flick on in her eyes and she smiled at him, nuzzling him carefully and than turned to the Earl.  
“It seems they are looking for me,” she said coolly “Let me go, and I'll talk to my keeper. I'll promise nothing though. We don't like shems, nor your Chantry,”  
“That is fine,” Cullen interjected before Teagan could speak “We won't no trouble with the Dalish, and on behalf of the Inquisition I apologize for any hostility you have encountered. Is the clan in need of anything, supplies maybe? We are willing to provide assistance, to show our good faith,”  
She sucked on her bottom lip for a moment, eyeing the Commander carefully and stroking Suranas feathered head with gentle fingers.  
“Well... some lyrium potions never hurt, or health potions,” she replied “It have become awfully hard to find anyone willing or able to trade such things since you shems started this stupid war,”  
“I will see what we can afford to give you,” Cullen said without hesitation “The war is hopefully soon over, and order can return to the lands,”  
“That would be good,” Neva noted and glanced at Teagan “Can I go now?”  
“Of course,” Cullen said “Where can our scouts meet you with supplies later?”  
“At the elven ruins by the Eastern Road,” she said walking towards the door “At dusk. I'll leave as darkness come,”  
“Understood,” Cullen confirmed and than turned to Teagan.   
Surana was very pleased with his rogue and butted his head against her neck twice as they got out of the castle before he spread his wings and flew beside her.  
She smiled at him, but said nothing until they were outside the village.   
“Is it you, Commander?” she asked and he caw to confirm “We thought we had lost you, Ohgren will be so pleased to see you! He was worried sick when we couldn't find you here and there was talk about all the mages being dead or taken prisoners by the Inquisition,”  
He circled her a bit and cawed once more. She smiled and continued;  
“You look rugged, but don't worry. Jana have made sure we have plenty of food in the camp we set up. We kept hidden, I'll explain when we get back, come, you can ride on my shoulder,”  
He didn't really mind that, so he sat back down on her shoulder and allowed her to carry him back to the others.

It was a good camp they had sat up, hidden in a cave in the mountain between Redcliff village and the Eastern Gate. It was hard enough to get to so no one would stumble upon it and gave a good view over the road. They had set up a nice big fire and he could see supplies that would last for at least a week or two as they entered.   
“Blighted nugshit where have you been!?” Ohgren barked at Neva as she entered and Fearon noted that the dwarf looked like he hadn't slept for days “We thought they had hauled you off or something!”  
“I got held up by suspicious guards,” she replied with a small smile “I brought someone with me though, someone you will be pleased to see, Ohgren,”  
It was like the dwarf hadn't even noticed the big black raven on her shoulder before that and his eyes grew big as saucers as Surana elegantly took a step of Nevas shoulder and changed into his elven self.   
Two seconds later he almost got his ribs crushed by the dwarf hugging him and he awkwardly tried to push Ohgren off him.  
“By the Paragons and Brankas sweaty toes! You are alive! I was certain you had dissapeared into the Deep Roads and gotten taken by blighters! You nuggshitting twat! How dare you just run off into the Roads like that!? I searched for days! Where the blighted fuck did you go!?”  
Curses and questions gushed out of Ohgrens mouth and the Warden-Commander simply sighed and wiggled his way out of his berserkers grip sitting down on a pelt that Jana cleared for him.   
“I.. It is complicated,” he replied and gave Dan a thankful smile as the warrior handed him a mug of warm broth “But I'm back, and I'm not much worse for wear. What happened to you? Why are there no mages in Redclif and where is Fiona?”  
“Do not fucking try to get straight to business!” Ohgren growled and put a very upset finger near Suranas face “I have spent two blighted weeks thinking you were dead! Where did you go!?”  
“Where is Shale?”  
“She went to Ozammar, to look in the records for anything that could help you finding a cure,” Neva said and sat down by Henselt and Kolt by the fire “And to send a message to Morrigan that you were lost,”  
“...How long ago did she leave? I should inform her such a message won't be needed,” Surana quickly asked ignoring the fuming dwarf beside him.  
“Maybe three days ago,” Henselt said “We should be able to catch up with her pretty easy,”  
“WILL YOU BLOODY ANSWER MY QUESTION!?” Ohgren roared and Surana sighed glaring at the dwarf  
“I fadestepped, somewhere. I got out in the Kocari Wilds, and I am fine. What else do you want to know, Ohgren?”  
“Blighted nugfuck,” the dwarf muttered and stepped out to breath.  
“He has been really worried,” Jana noted as the dwarf left “We tried to search for you, Commander, but Ohgren and Shale said that if you had disappeared down there we could search for ages and not find anything,”  
He nodded and sipped his broth  
“Which is true. He did the right thing to take you here instead. No one man is more important than the mission. Not even I. Most people who disappears in the Deep Roads they are most likley as good as dead. Thankfully, I'm not most people,”  
He sat there catching his breath and sipping on the broth for a few moments, silently reassuring his newly recruited members that he was fine and back. He listened to them talk about how Ohgren had assumed command with great success, at least until they had gotten back to civilization and he had gotten a hold of ale, and how they had tried to find a mage to tell them what had happened to Fiona but that all mages from Redcliff apparently had been under the command of a Magister and that they had attacked the Inquisition shortly after the Breech had been stabilized.  
It made no sense to Surana why the mages had acted in such a suicidal manner, but then again most of them were idiots. He sighed as the last of the news were presented to him and rose to his feet;  
“I'm going to go and check on Ohgren. Neva, if you can get a hold of those lyrium supplies you where promised that would be great. I need to make more potions, so I'll head out and search for herbs when I'm done talking to the dwarf,”   
“No need, sir,” Kolt piped up “Neva and I remembered what you used for your potion, so we gathered up all but the lyrium on our way here. We... hoped you would find it useful. If..When you returned,”  
Surana couldn't help but smile. One of those rare warm smiles he hardly gave anyone but Morrigan or Keiran. It was quite heartwarming that they had thought of that.  
“Thank you,” he said and left to search for Ohgren.

The dwarf was sitting not even 10 feet from the cave enterance, drinking his ale and staring out into the thin air. Surana sighed and sat down beside him.  
“They seem to follow you gladly,” he noted glancing at the dwarf “You did good,”  
“Screw you,” the dwarf muttered “I thought you were a goner, what was I supposed to do?”  
“You did exactly what you were supposed to. I'm sorry I didn't get here faster,”  
“You look like shit. What in the bloody world was I to tell Morrigan when she came roaring for me demanding answers? That I turned my back for one moment and you unleashed some kind of magical shockwave to then fuming like a dragon with a fucking hernia disappeared into the Deep Roads? Damn it, Surana!”  
“I'm sorry. I lost my cool and it was weak of me,” Surana simply said and sighed “By the Gods I hope we can intercept Shale before she gets that message to Morrigan,”  
“What happened? You didn't look like you when you stormed off. You looked possessed,”  
Surana glanced Ohgrens way and saw the dwarfs eyes turned on him, worried and searching for an answer.  
He sighed and mumbled;  
“I nearly was. They cleaned it out. The Wardens cleaned out Kul-Baras before I could get there. Anything on Fionas cure that was there is gone. Weisshaupt never told me they had been there. They are witholding something from me. I... lost it. I lost focus for just a moment and they all came for me. The demons. The Calling. I was an idiot, and I nearly died,”  
“Bloody mages,” Ohgren muttered looking at him with a strange sympathy “I'm bloody greatful to the Ancestors I don't have to deal with that demon shit on top of this blasted Calling. You look like shit. Really. More than ever, and I've seen you in some pretty shitty states,”  
“I feel like shit,” Surana sighed “But it doesn't matter. We have to find a way. A cure. I won't give up,”  
Ohgren nodded;  
“I'm staying here, by your side, all the way. As always,” he said “But don't run off on me like that again. It was like you disappeared from the world. Not even the Stone knew where you went,”  
“I'll try not to,” Surana smirked and Ohgren swatted him on the arm with a grin “I wouldn't want to force you into being responsible again,”  
“Go fuck yourself,” the dwarf laughed and passed Surana his satchel of ale.  
Surana took a sip and cringed. Did that dwarf ever wash the satchel before changing ales? He was doubtful... very doubtful.


	17. Chapter 17

After a good nights rest and a new supplies of his potions the Warden-Commander took his charges and went after Shale the very next morning. He was still feeling weak, but would not let them see him falter and frankly he could not let the Golem deliver that message to Morrigan and Keiran.

He was unsure of what to do next, but that wasn't revealed either to his party of Wardens. It was not like they were going to be able to help any way. Neither of them knew anything about blood magic or the Taint.  
Weisshaupt surely knew, but they wouldn't tell him. They hadn't before so why would that change? He also found out that the Inquisitions search for Wardens had identified, and that one Warden named Blackwall had joined them. He had never met this Blackwall, just heard the name float around among the older Wardens. He wouldn't risk it by searching him out though. The Inquisitor was a former Templar and led by Cullen, Leliana and had been joined my Vivianne de Fer. It was the worst place he could think of at the moment.

He wished he could talk to Avernus. Someone to bounce ideas with would be grand at this point, but alas he was alone with the problem. As always. Surrounded by warriors and brutes, never scholars.  
By the Maker he thought as he for the fourth hour listened to Dan and Henselt telling the others of when they had taken a Tevinter slave ship I'd even be grateful for Anders at this moment. Someone with magical knowledge... Maybe even Wynne...  
“Did you hear that, Commander?” Kolt laughed “They put the Magister as a figurehead on his own boat!”  
Surana glared and walked up a head. Yes. Very funny. Total waste of life and knowledge was hilarious.  
The White Spire was out of question, the Orleisan Wardens was with Clarel on her insane mission, Tevinters had infiltrated those Wardens but rumours ran the country side of a Tevinter cult fighting the Inquisition for some elder god. That coincided with what he had heard from that mage at the Tevinter ruin when he had first left Vigils Keep... Maybe he should take them to the library in Minrathous? It was really a better choice than Orlais any given day since Tevinter wasn't censured in it's teachings of magic in the same way... Tevinter, however, was very far away...

He grumbled as he heard Jana make a tasteless joke about mages in boats being very much like fish in barrels, and that one icy glare made them all fall silent in discomfort.  
“Eh.. no offence,” she mumbled but he just ignored her and walked on.

If Shale was heading to Ozammar it meant that the didn't have to go there, which was good. He detested the city. Nothing was ever done quickly in Ozammar, especially not favours. Bhalen had been the lesser of two evils during the Blight and during the years he had grown even more paranoid and thought himself clever.  
The last time they met he had tried to cheat the Wardens out of a deal, withholding the information he had of a clear road to a thaig. It had almost killed the Wardens on the mission as they tried to find their way on their own, and had almost killed the King when Surana found out. Now their relationship was... frosty.  
Where else could he turn? Fiona had gotten herself killed during the attack of the Inquisition the stupid wench. Avernus was dead. Morrigan was at court and needed to be incognito. Tevinter was far away. Orlais was crawling with Inquisition and Templars. Weisshaupt was not to be trusted.  
He glanced back at his newly recruited Wardens, and for a brief moment entertained the idea of wildly experimenting on them hoping to stumble upon a cure. It was wasteful though, since he didn't know what to look for.

Three days they tracked the golem before reaching her, and during those three days he came no closer to a decision on where to go. He was just growing immensely frustrated.  
“Ah, it lives,” the golem commented when they met up “I am glad. Morrigan would have been terrible company if I had told her it was gone and disappeared in the Deep Roads,”  
“I know,” he grumbled “That's why I came after you. Are you heading to Ozammar?”  
“Yes. To see if there are anything in the Memories of a Warden Cure. Will it accompany me?”  
“No. It just heightens the risk that I kill Bhalen because I have to look at his stupid face. Or that his guards kill me when I try,” Surana replied in a dark tone “I'll come around there when I've checked out some other leads though, so don't leave in a hurry?”  
“I will not,” Shale replied “Unlike it I do not enjoy stampeding around the world. I also have other business in Ozammar,”  
“Good,” Surana muttered, gave the Golem a pat on the shoulder and took his Wardens and left.  
Shale wouldn't be offended, she knew the Warden-Commander too well.  
A few moments, as the golem disappeared out of sight, Jana glanced at her Commander.  
“...Was that King Bhalen you spoke of? Why would you even...”  
“Because he is a brat,” Surana interrupted “Like most royals. They are mostly entitled brats running around thinking themselves clever and above everyone else. He is a special kind of brat. The kind that you spend two minutes with and than want to kick of a cliff down to a lava stream. Right, Ohgren?”  
“Meeh,” the dwarf agreed shrugging his shoulder “The Commander is right. Bhalen is a brat. A backstabbing one too. Don't trust a word he says, if he ever speaks to you,”  
“So... You don't like the Templars, you don't like the King of Ozammar, you don't like Circle mages, nor the Chantry, you avoid the Inquisition... Sir... Do you have any allies?” the warrior asked warily  
“The Dalish?” Neva asked making Ohgren scoff out a laugh.  
“Self-entitled good for nothings,” Surana replied “Hogging what ever knowledge they can extract from tomes and scripture better suited for real scholars. And unwilling to share knowledge, hostile to anyone approaching. Nope, the Dalish are no better than most humans,”  
“But...” Neva was to argue but he shut her down with one sentence;  
“Ir ghil-dirthalen, lethallan,”  
“I-I don't know what that means,” she mumbled and he rose a meaning eyebrow.  
“I am a seeker of truth. If the Dalish truly were, then they would organize better. Work together with anyone willing to discover said truth. No. They are disorganized, too fond of their own martyrdom and selfish. They want their knowledge, as if knowledge could have an owner. It is stupid. They lost their path to truth centuries ago,”  
“We are hunted by shems,” she tried to defend her people with and he scoffed  
“Am I not? By the Gods, Neva. Stop being naive about it. No real truth can come from a bunch of nomads guarding their secrets. Together the whole might make sense but.. no.. just no. Now leave me alone. I need to think,”  
“Y-yes, Commander,” she mumbled close to tears and fell back in with the rest of them as he lengthened his stride to get some distance to them.  
He could hear Ohgren making excuses for him. It did not matter. None of them mattered if he could not figure out a plan.  
He stayed at a distance, quiet and solemn for the rest of the days. As they set up camp he groaned looking at Nevas devastated face and spat out;  
“I just find it disgusting that they wallow in the past like that. Elven history is magnificent and holds so many clues to magical secrets that would transform the world, and all they do is squabble about who had it worse or who knows the most words in Elhven. Then they get offended that I'm fluent and while refusing me access to their tomes because of my human wi...partner... they accuse me of withholding knowledge they deserve by birthright? Am I not elvhen as well?”  
“Of course you are,” she said “And not all of us are like that,”  
“You come in shades, as to all groups of people, but entitled martyrs are a pretty spot on label for the Dalish,” he grunted “You show promise, because you can think, but...I can not stand people who just accept their lot in life even though they are not pleased. It is shit for everybody,”  
“... bitter much?” Kolt muttered and met the Commanders eyes with a gaze of steel that Surana had not expected “You do the martyr pretty well too, Commander,”  
“Oh laddy,” Ohgren tried to get inbetween but it was too late.  
Surana cocked his head to the side and his eyes turned to steel, cold as ice.  
“Do I? Please enlighten me, Kolt,”  
“Do you think we can't see it? How you drag yourself along holding together as much out of contempt and bitterness towards the world as by a will to live? Every other word you speak about others is cruel, demeaning or about how stupid everybody else are. How wrong everybody else is. How much they are holding you back. So what if we aren't as smart as you are? The Chantry do a lot of good, they don't just imprison mages. A lot of mages need and want the Circles. A lot of ordinary people need the Chantry. The Templars did a lot of good! I've been saved by Templars a lot of times since the Circles disbanded! I've seen blood mages turn to abominations! Jana was in bloody Kirkwall during the mage uprising there, she told me there was mages stringing children up in spikes to raise demons from their blood! If you weren't so far up your own ass you would see the world fears you for a reason! Fuck, if you had a bad enough day you seem like the type of people that would kick puppies just because everybody else not suffering along with you makes you upset! So don't bash Neva or the Dalish for martyrdom! Just don't!”  
It was silent as the grave around the camp fire as his rant stopped and Surana kept himself from growling at the thief. He just stared down Kolt, and the thief stared back in a steady defiance.  
“Surana,” Ohgren mumbled trying to snap them out of it “The kid is new...”  
“He is entitled to his view,” Surana replied in a cool whisper, “They all are. I do not give a blighted fuck about what this murdering thief, or anybody thinks,”  
“And that is fine,” the berserk tried “Come, let's check out the surrounding area,”  
“No. I want to hear what everybody else thinks,”  
“No you don't,” the dwarf sighed “You are just angry. Come one,”  
“Shut up,” it was a quiet demand, but Ohgren knew that those were the most serious from Surana.  
“What will you do?” Kolt dared him “Kill me? Prove to us all that you are as bad as all say you are? Or will you just ignore me, trying to make me look like the smaller person?”  
“Neither,” Surana replied “I know who I am, and how I come across. I do not pity myself. Do not ever think that I do. I have chosen this path, and it is a misunderstood one. I have no need for your, nor anybodies approval though. Because I don't care. You are a fleeting presence in my life, you all are. You do not, and can not, understand my motives, so you will not understand my actions. I know that,”  
“How?” Kolt interrupted “How can you know we will not understand since you refuse to tell us?”  
“Brighter, far more opened minded people have failed to understand,” Surana scoffed “I will not waste my words. You are right. I am dragging myself along at this state. Do I complain? No. It does no one any good. As long as I can do things on my own I will. That is all you need to know, that and that I will do anything to stop the Blight taking the world,”  
Kolt scoffed and averted his eyes, the others just sat there in awkward silence. Surana glared at them and sat down peering down on his maps trying to figure out if he would have enough time to reach Minrathos.  
“Why did the other Wardens leave?” Jana asked after a few minutes  
“Because they wanted to,” Surana mumbled expressionless as he calculated the time to get between a few Eluvians he knew of on the way.  
“Why did they want to?” she continued, uncertainty creeping in her voice.  
“Because they are asshats,” Ohgren replied and Surana scoffed  
“Maybe. Or because the raving panic of Warden-Commander Clarel seemed far more promising to end the Calling than my decade long, methodical research. Because improvised poorly planned blood magic aided by an unknown Tevinter mage is far more worth of their faith,” Surana muttered  
“...What?” it came from all of his new Wardens and he sighed.  
“Clarel is panic about the Calling, she want to end it for all Wardens, just as I do. She got mystery aid from a random Tevinter that came very suddenly and wanted to help the Wardens. Clarel is an idiot, so she thought that this Tevinter is far more trustworthy than me. Disregarding the fact that I've studied the Blight and the Taint since I became a Warden just to be able to end it. She writes me, tells me to get me and my Wardens to Orlais so we can all preform this ill-advised blood ritual on behest of her Tevinter friend. I tell her she is mad and that me and my Wardens won't be coming. She storms to Fereldan, greatly offended of me declining her invitation. Most of the Wardens in Fereldan decide that she has the better judgement in the issue, and go with her. I do not. Because it is madness,” he explained in a monotone voice tapping the map crunching the numbers “They will all probably be dead or enslaved to that Tevinter mage soon. That is an issue we have to deal with, later. First, the Calling. No use of saving the Wardens if we are all dead within six months,”  
“Six months!? How can we have six months!? You have been a Warden for over a decade!” Kolts voice was riddled with accusations.  
“Because something is wrong,” Surana simply answered “But I'm working on it. So it will work out. I won't let it defeat me, and by extension; you,”  
“You are.... I..I can't...” Kolt upped and left, walking into the forest swearing.  
Surana didn't even care to look up. What the thief did was the thieves business. The others scurried around him all worried and frantic the rest of the evening. He ignored them, letting Ohgren handle that. They were far more fond of Ohgren anyway.  
By the morn he had a plan. He looked at them all, including Kolt that had been usured back to camp during the night, and pointed to the map.  
“Okay, we are going to Minrathous. To the grand library. I'm going to look for some books... you...enjoy the city or what ever. We are going to go through here, and then head through an Eluvian outside Jader and go through the Crossroads to Vol Dorma. From there we can relatively quickly travel to Minrathous. We should be at the library in... a month maybe? About a week to Jader, than three to four weeks to get to Minrathous if we are unlucky,”  
“...and... how do we get from Jader to the deepest of Tevinter in no time?” Dan asked eyeing the Commander suspiciously  
“Through the Eluvians,” Surana repeated with a sigh “It is ancient elven pathways between this realm and the Fade. Very handy. I'll guide you,”  
“...And... How will we get through Tevinter not getting enslaved?” Neva asked gesturing to her ears.  
“They wouldn't dare,” Surana muttered “Worst case scenario some of our human friends will have to pretend to be our owner,”  
He smirked at the awkward silence and glanced up at them all  
“No takers?”  
“...eh... I don't know...” Henselt stuttered glancing nervously between Surana and Neva.  
“Any of you speak Tevene?” Surana asked and Dan cautiously stroke his neck, “Dan it is then,”  
“Let's...I.. I'm really not comfortable with this,” Dan winced and Surana shrugged  
“We have about a week and a half until than, I'll practice your accent with you,”  
“You speak Tevene?”  
“Why are you even surprised?” Kolt groaned “The Commander talks fluent elf. The Elven Empire died thousand of years ago. I bet he speaks dwarf and magister speech too,”  
“...It is really just Ancient Tevene, not magister speech,” Surana replied and put is map back into the map casing “Everybody get ready to leave within the hour,”


	18. Chapter 18

As they arrived in Jader Surana made sure they all had neutral clothing that hid the fact that they were Wardens. Surana had no wish to alert Weisshaupt of their presence in Tevinter. He also tirelessly worked with Dan to perfect the Rivani soldiers Tevene.

It was both to make sure they might go unnoticed while they were in the Imperium, and to keep his own mind of the gnawing feeling of fumbling around in the dark after a solution.

Kolt continued to watch the Commander with suspicion, which made Surana suspect that the thief was much smarter than he had anticipated. The others chose to trust him, Kolt did not. Probably because Kolt knew a desperate man when he saw one, and wasn't going to get caught in any crossfires. It was a nuisance though, having his command questioned every other day.

The Eluvian was located in an old elven tempel on the shore half a day outside Jader, and Surana felt more and more reluctant to show it and allow his Wardens through the closer the came.

The Crossroads was his and Morrigans space. The safe haven where he could ignore the world and had been granted a few good years with just his family.

Allowing Wardens in there felt like soiling the place. It had to be done though, he did not have time to travel to Tevinter by conventional means.

He took a deep breath and sighed as they walked through the overgrown and crumbling halls of Elgar'nan and heard Neva gasp as they came up to the mirror. It was one of the largest intact mirrors he and Morrigan had ever found. 10 feet tall, all built in black and white marble, laced with intricate gold patterns glistening like the sun when the light.

"How has this not been plundered?" Jana whispered as she looked around the equally impressive hall in awe

"The halls of the Creators are not easily broke open," Surana quietly replied and stepped up to the mirror touching it with great reverence "It is just dead memories now. Echoes of past glories, snippets of history that get stolen and re-purposed for the new problems the world face. The only constant is entropy, who ever and where ever we are,"

"Ain't that a cheery statement," Kolt muttered "This place gives me the creeps. Where is that Eluvian you talked about? It is a gate of sorts, no? A door?"

"Of sorts," Surana sighed and focused his will on the mirror muttering "Fen'Harel enansal"

The mirror lit up and chimed, that soothing sound that seemed to speak to the very core of his being. He could hear Neva almost burst into tears as she saw the ancient portal lit up and the others took a few steps back staring at it.

It was wondrous and Surana quietly stroke its frame as he waited for them to collect themselves, smiling for a moment when he heard Ohgren mutter curse after curse.

"This," Surana mumbled to his Wardens as they approached him and the Eluvian "Is the true wonder of the ancient Elves. The Eluvians. Let me show you what was truly lost. Come Neva. Let me show you what our people once were,"

He took the trembling rangers hand and stepped through the mirror.

First there was only light, that bright chiming in their very being and then they stepped out in the crossroads. Row after road of Eluvians stood there, waiting for someone to access them. Some lost forever, either by destruction or corruption. Other simply locked, awaiting someone with the right key to approach.

He glanced at Neva as he led her in a bit allowing the others to follow. Silent tears ran down her face and her breaths where short and shallow. He had felt the same way the first time Morrigan had brought him through.

"How?" she whispered staring at him for answers.

He looked around and replied quietly;

"I have no idea. Some how they created places between our world and the Fade. This is why the Elves had no roads. We didn't need them. This was the heart of our Empire. Our roads,"

He heard gasps and swearing behind them as the others came through, and gently held Neva as she fell to her knees touching the ground they were standing on.

"Take a moment," he said leaving there as he went to close the mirror behind them.

It would be bad if anyone accidentally stumbled in after them.

All of the Wardens seemed to be unable to grasp where they were, just staring around them gaping at what really shouldn't be able to exist.

Ohgren walked up to Neva and looked confused;

"...What are you sobbing about? It's just... a misty grey place?"

"Not to us, Ohgren," Surana interjected helping Neva up looking around "You feel it, do you not, Neva?"

"It is.. I am no mage," she trembled "But this.. it... I just want to cry. It feels... so strange,"

"Unnatural," Henselt muttered and Surana could not help but roll his eyes,

"For a human, maybe," he replied in a dry tone "Anyway, nobody touch anything, I'll take us to Vol Dorma now,"

"How did you find this place?" Neva asked feverishly

"I didn't," Surana answered "Morrigan did... It is not important for our mission however, so let's go,"

"That mirror," Ohgren said glaring at his Commander "It resembled the one in your study in the Keep. Is that how you sneak out and show up without anyone noticing?"

"Yes," Surana said steering his steps towards the Eluvian leading towards Tevinter

"All that walking I've done, was in vain?" the dwarf groaned and Surana began to feel that frustration he had feared would come by bringing them here.

"This is not just... I would not let any of you in here if I had a choice," he barked over his shoulder "I know next to nothing of this place, nor where the mirrors lead. Can you imagine the mayhem if just anybody could access them? Come on, let's get changed and move on,"

Surana could feel their eyes burning in his back, they all understood how world changing the Eluvians would prove to Thedas. They remembered his rant about the Dalish not wanting to share knowledge, and here he was sitting on a secret magical road system. Of course they thought it hypocritical. He didn't. The Dalish had just tales and legends. This was real, and potentially very dangerous.

A gasp from Neva made him pause and as he turned he felt his soul freeze for a moment. She was holding one of Kerians stuffed hallas.

"Look," she whispered "An ancient Elven toy,"

"Don't be silly," Surana snarled and snatched his sons toy out of her hands "And I told you not to touch anything. It is not ancient,"

"How do you know?" she scowled and he flinched in frustration.

This was their place. The realm where he had had a few good years without the foolishness of the rest of the world. Just him, Morrigan and Keiran. He didn't want anyone to know, he didn't want them included in his life. If they were included they would ruin it. Outsiders always ruined everything.

"Because it belongs to my son," he grunted and shoved the halla into one of his pockets "He must have dropped it,"

He ignored the others questions about his family, and activated the Vol Dorma Eluvian marching through without waiting for any of them. What he would give to have Morrigan there instead... Or to just hold Keiran for a moment. For everything to be all right again...

"Can you stop just walking away from conversations?" Henselt asked as he and the others walked out from the mirror and Surana sighed;

"I will not discuss my family with you. Or anyone. Forget that I have one, for all I care,"

"But it is important!" Jana argued "How old is your son?"

"None of your business," Surana muttered and closed the path behind them looking around the old ruin they were in.

"The lad is 10," Ohgren sighed "Surana fucked Morrigan before defeating the Blight, they got a kid even though Wardens usually don't have kids, and then she disappeared on him,"

"Ohgren," Surana growled while looking around the room to see if anything had changed since he had been there last "Shut. Up"

"Surana tracked her down, even though she did her best not to be found, and now they are a weird happy mean mage family. The kid is good though," Ohgren continued "Morrigan and Surana is a great match. Just as bad at dealing with people, stuck up and big headed,"

"Tracked her down? That... sounds creepy," Jana mumbled

"Halam sahlin!" Surana hissed and glared at them all "Do not ever talk about Morrigan and me again. You would not even be able to grasp the depth of our connection,"

"Seems like people have been here recently, there are marks in the dust," Kolt broke in from the far side of the room.

"Great," Surana muttered and walked over inspecting the disturbance in the dust.

It was at most a few days old. Looters probably, nothing major to worry about as long as the mirror was intact.

"Dan, take the lead," he ordered and Dan sighed and straightened his back and walked up in the front.

Who ever had been at the temple seemed to have departed, they ran into no one as they walked through and soon they were looking out over the Imperial city of Vol Dorma.

"Have you ever been to this part of the Imperium?" Surana asked Dan as the sun danced over the city and the river leading to Asariel.

Dan shook his head and mumbled;

"I have been around the Silent Plains years ago working as a mercenary. Did a quick stunt in Qarinus fighting Qunari, that was when I figured the Imperium wasn't for me and ended my contract and left for Antiva and home to Rivani for a while,"

"The Highway should prove no problem then," Surana said "Just get us to Minrathos as quick as possibly,"

"Of course, sir," Dan muttered "I feel no need to prolong any trip into the Imperium,"

"Good," Surana muttered and they took off down towards the Imperial Highway and Minrathos "If you need any help. Call on me. When we get to Minrathos I'll take us to a friend of mine, he will make sure we have a safe place to stay,"

Dan nodded and looked at the others with a forced smile;

"Let's go than. My soldiers and servants. This will be fun... right? Only three weeks of this charade!"

 


	19. Chapter 19

They had come quite a bit before dark, and Dan guided them skilfully to a road side inn where managed to get them food and shelter for the night without raising as much as an eyebrow from the patrons or staff. Surana was very pleased with his dark-skinned warrior. His accent was almost indistinguishable after a few hours chatting to the patrons of the tavern. He would clearly be an asset to the Wardens as more than just a meat shield.

They were all handling being discrete rather well, the only one in the party that worried Surana at the moment was Neva. She had been quiet since the Crossroads and Tevinter would prove hard for her, he knew that. She was a proud Dalish. Tevinter was always rough for any elf unwilling to submit.

He knew. He always felt a small need for lighting thing or peoples blood on fire when he was in Tevinter. In Minrathos it was... okay. He had friends and colleagues that who knew who he was and he mostly was at the library so he wasn't disturbed by fools as often as he was outside of the city.

Now he just sat in the corner watching Dan play the merchant with his guards and elven servants, holding Keirans halla tightly within its pocket. It was all worth it. Anything he had to do would be worth it, if he just could return safely to his family and they too were safe.

Neva glanced at him from her side of the table and mumbled;

"Do you miss them very much?"

Surana frowned, unsure of what she spoke of at first and she nodded down towards the hand he had stuck in his pocket.

"Ah," he mumbled and shrugged "It's my family. I'm no monster, what ever everyone else thinks. Of course I do,"

"No need to defend missing kin," she smiled and scooted closer to him.

He knew was what coming. Bonding. He wasn't really comfortable with it but if she was going to go under the pretend of his daughter during the journey he couldn't just shove her away. Dan had established that lie hours ago, when some red necked meat head had asked to buy her. It had been a good save, since Neva had turned to Surana to plea for help and not Dan but... it was still annoying.

"Yeah..." he muttered and sighed "So do you miss yours?"

"Yes," she said fiddling with the edge of the table "I do. Very much. They would marvel at all you have taught me about the ancient elves though, of what I've seen since I became a Warden,"

"Most do," he muttered "If they don't bring out the pitchforks,"

"Why are you so angry with the world?" she asked watching him carefully "You have been granted great things in life,"

"No, I haven't" he replied "I've taken and earned great things. The world is a cold, stupid place run by fools and inbred. It has no appreciation for real knowledge, it fears all it can not understand and denounce the truth of matters for fairytale and legends. It is ugly and disgusting,"

"Sure it is a harsh world but... Surely the nice things..."

"Are rare and fickle," he interrupted glaring out over the room "Look at this room. What do you see?"

"Shems," she replied "Poor shem, trying to lift their sorrows for a few hours. Elves in slavery, trying to just make by. But there is light too, do you see the young couple in the corner? They seem happy despite it all,"

"I see slaves," he replied "Slaves to a doctrine that keeps people in their so called place. I see weak men beating the weaker because they need to beat someone to feel in control. I see quiters. People who quit life, and now just are husks of their masters will. It is the same all over, the chains differ but next to no one in this world is really alive,"

"...Do you feel like a slave?" she asked and he scoffed

"They try. Oh how they try to tame me. I won't have it. I never have and I never will. I do not submit. My destiny is my own, my life is mine. I will not give it up,"

"...what happened?" she asked and he glared

"I got born with a brain. I saw through the illusions and refused to close my eyes. Why must something have happened? Why do people always insist that I need a tragic past or something to explain my disgust with the world beyond the mere state of the world itself?"

"Because that's how people work," she mumbled "You get coloured by your experience. I distrust and fear shems because they've hurt me. Kolt distrust almost all because he got betrayed by people he loved and trusted. Dan and Henselt value loyalty above all because that is what have served them. Jana tries desperately to see the good in the world and to seek out justice because she longs for the peace and order she knew before. You rage and stomp through the world because that is how you survived, that is what something taught you was the right way. Ohgren follow you because you proved a true friend when he had no one and he cares for you and believes you will do the right thing, it gives him purpose and hope,"

"Very touching," he muttered "I do not rage through the world. I just get what I want. What is needed for the greater good, and to secure my autonomy,"

She smiled, a patronizing smile that made his blood simmer.

"Yes you do," she mused "You rage now, because I'm challenging you. You get angry and frustrated most of the time. It must be exhausting,"

"People are exhausting," he muttered "You all are,"

"See, passive-aggressive raging. Kolt is so right about you,"

"By the..." Surana groaned and got up and walked over to Dan who was playing dice with a few other travellers.

"Do you need anything?" Surana snarled at Dan and Dan looked up shaking his head.

"I'll be withdrawing then, I have some things that need study," Surana pressed out between gritted teeth and Dan gave him a nod glancing in Nevas direction trying to understand what was happening.

Neva had already been joined by Kolt in the corner. Surana didn't want to care. If the thief wanted to pry he was welcome to try. It mattered not. What they thought and theorized about him was up to them. He knew the truth and that was enough.

The road to Minrathos was long. Surana had never been good at following others, nor to be looked down upon. This time he clinched his jaw and took it, allwoing them to pass through out Tevinter without raising any trouble, and keeping Neva to the same standard.

He spent the nights furiously writing down possible leads he could look up in Minrathos and remembering himself about why he was doing this. Zevran reported in a few nights before they reached the city.

He was back in Antiva, and apparently he had already gotten some information out of an Inquisition agent he had befriended.

"You see," the elf said through the crystal "Apparently the Inquisitor just saved Empress Celene from being murdered. He is all the rave now among nobles, the Free Marchers and Orlesians alike. Agents of this Elder One was to murder her on a grand ball along with the whole Council of Heralds,"

Surana did not care for the Council, nor Celene, but Morrigan was there.

"Is Morrigan and Keiran safe?"

"Yes, yes, I was just coming to that. Please do not ruin my grand story,"

"I will ruin more than your story, Zevran,"

"Don't be a grump. She and Keiran are fine. Celene sent them with the Inquistor, well she sent Morrigan really, not Keiran but Keiran goes with Morrigan, no? She lended Morrigans arcane expertise to them apparently,"

Surana gritted his teeth and muttered;

"So.. They are with Leliana now?"

"Leliana seems to not have objected, I am waiting a reply from a letter I sent her though. I am afraid I killed a crow working for them,"

"Blighted f... I can't get to them right now. Is there anyone there anyone we can contact to keep Morrigan and Keiran safe?"

"Leliana is hardly known to kill children. You worry too much,"

"Leliana might not, but the Left hand of the Divine did far worse than killing children of apostates that had killed her. Lady Nightingale have no qualms, Zevran,"

"I will make arrangements. Oh, and apparently the Inquisition is going to wage war on Adamant. Hawke, you know of Hawke, no?"

"Yes, the Champion of Kirkwall, I know of her,"

"Well, she apparently is working with Alistair to stop Clarel from creating a demon army for this Elder One, and the Inquisition is helping them stop that,"

"..." Surana could do nothing but sigh and groan.

The world was falling apart. And the people he cared about most was caught in the god damn middle.

"Did you have a heart attack and died?" Zevrans voice asked through the crystal

"No... I just... wished I had more of me. And that people listened to me. A demon army?"

"That is what they say,"

"... Well.. good luck to them with that. I'm going to go and set something on fire now. Report back when you know more about Morrigans situation,"

"Yes, my friend. And Faeron? Be safe,"

Faeron didn't answer. He left camp and found a nice offensive rock that he could mangle to get his frustrations out.

He was half a world away and Morrigan had brought Keiran right in to the Inquisitions midst!? Clarel had really summoned an demon army as the Tevinter had commanded!? An assault on Adamant?!

"Commander?" Jana showed up at the edge of camp making him regain his resolve, at least on the outside.

"What?" he barked

"Sir... The... The First Warden has sent a messenger. They request that we come to Weisshaupt,"

"Tell the messenger to fuck off!" he snarled "We are going to Minrathos, then we are going back to Fereldan and then I'm going to cure the Calling and after all that is done I'm going to..."

"I doubt the First Warden will approve such plans, Warden-Commander," a calm voice noted as said messenger turned up behind Jana "The First Warden demands that you take your Wardens and come to Weisshaupt. You have some explaining to do, Surana,"

"Frank?" he groaned "Figures,"

Frank was the one Warden from Weisshaupt besides the Mistress Woolsey who had visited Vigils Keep. He was a large man, reaching well over six feet tall with long ash blond hair and beard. He was a decent man, and a great soldier. Surana and Frank had never really seen eye to eye.

The long haired Ander walked up towards Surana and glared at him;

"As charming as ever? Did someone ever explain to you the chain of command in the Wardens? You do not tell the First Warden to fuck off,"

"Well, I bet the First Warden will understand. After all, I had to go to Tevinter since you Anderfel Wardens deemed it a good idea to not aid my research,"

"We do not have time for your disgusting experiments," Frank replied dryly "The First Warden demands your co-operation. Do as commanded or we will strip you of your command, as suitable when a Commander commits treason,"

"Treason," Surana spat out the words as if they were poison "Listen to yourself! I am curing the Calling, how is that treason!? Treason should be to obstruct that research!"

"The First Warden demands..."

"The First Warden can go fuck himself! You all can! I will not abandon this!"

"Oh for the sake of the Maker!" Franks voice rose in tandem to Suranas "Will you for once, just for once do as you are bloody told!?"

"Commander if.. if the First Warden commands it," Jana stuttered and Suranas head snapped in her direction.

The others stood behind her, worried and unsure.

"No!" he roared "No. I will not come. Take them with you, do as you bloody well please. I am going to Minrathos,"

"Maybe we should just hear out what they want?" Ohgren tried and Surana shook his head furiously

"No! I do not care what Weisshaupt wants! For ten years they have given me nothing but silence. Go if you want to! I can do this myself! I always bloody do!"

"Do not be ridiculous," Frank muttered, his big furry eyebrows scowling down at the much shorter Surana "You go pardon a man who committed heinous experiments on his fellow wardens, you strike a deal with a talking darkspawn, one of your Wardens turn into an abomination and you let him walk off to blow up the Chantry in Kirkwall and you expect Weisshaupt to aid you?"

"Do I not get results? Am I not the one Warden that has provided the greatest strides to best the Taint!?" Surana growled "We do what ever we need to to prevent the Blight, or have that changed? My deal with the Architect prevented the slaughter of many in my domains. Avernus research is vital for us to harness the Taint and end the inevitable death of every Warden due to the Taint!"

"Yes, you look incredibly well," Frank sarcastically noted eyeing Surana "Or is that just all the blood you let to cast spells that make you look so pale? Also, you are still to give a report on how you survived the Fifth Blight... Or had a child that is not tainted. In short, we need answers,"

"And you will get them. When I'm done curing the Calling, or does the new one not bother you?"

"It does, but the First Warden is surely handling the matter,"

"Mhmmm. Clarel is too, have you heard her plan? Have you heard that she is raising a demon army for some Tevinter mage, and that the Inquisition has taken offence and is going to attack Adamant?"

The big Warden hesitated. He glanced at Suranas Wardens and back at Surana.

"You know what?" Surana sighed "Take this message to them; If they want to talk, they can tell me what happened to Fiona and what they removed from Kul-Baras. I will be in Minrathos in the meanwhile. Hoping that we all have time enough to sort this mess out before we all die,"

"I have orders, Surana,"

"And I don't care. That is a pickle. I've had a hell of a bad night, so just bugger off. Weisshaupt can wait, I'm curing the Calling,"

"But are you?"

"Yes. I am. If Templars hadn't killed Averuns a few months back it would already be cured. Now I have to find the missing pieces myself without anyone being able to help me. Pieces that I thought I would find with Fiona, or in Kul-Baras. Thank the First Warden for those re-enforcements I asked for when you get back..oh.. no that's right. He never sent them! I always forget how greatly unhelpful you Anderfel Wardens have been when it comes to us in the south..."

"Well... I...damn it. What are you looking for in Minrathos? I can't just let you go! I have orders,"

"I don't care," Surana replied in a frosty voice drained of all emotion "I have never aimed to please the First Warden. I aim to do what needs to be done. I will get results. I do not trust you enough to tell you what I am looking for. But I will go to Minrathos, I'll kill you if I have to,"

Frank sighed and glared at Surana, and looking up towards the other Fereldan Wardens near the camp.

"I'd take hostages with me if I thought you'd care," the ander grumbled "Damnit... I'll come with then. I haven't broken any orders if I don't let you go,"

Surana wanted to groan but kept his cool and nodded;

"What ever," he muttered and returned to camp.

Ohgren and the others watched him closely and he sighed;

"Ohgren, you know Frank. Introduce the others. I'm... not in the mood for socializing,"

"'Course," the dwarf mumbled glancing at the big Warden that awkwardly entered their camp behind the Warden-Commander.


	20. Family

Surana went to sleep straight away, by the help of a herbal brew Morrigan had thought him in the Crossroads and clutching Keirans halla in his hands. He never really liked sleeping, it wasted time where he could do useful things. It was necessary though, at and this moment he would much prefer the Fade from the physical world.

It was a myriad of dreams, of demons trying to tempt him and his mind processing everything that raged in his mind. Nightmares, as always. As he slammed a door at yet another demon taking the form of an outraged First Warden commanding his death he noticed a change.

The room he had entered was calm, light and very familiar. He was in his quarters at Vigils Keep.

Ser-Pounce-Alot was playing on the floor with a string and on the bed he could see Keiran sitting and reading a book.

"What is this?" he mumbled to himself, unsure of what to think of it all.

It could easily be a trap, some demon that had figured it out and tried to lure him in.

"Father!" Keiran looked up from the book and ran up to him, embracing Surana in a hug.

Surana didn't return the hug nor engage the spirit that manifested as his son but started to look around. It felt solid, as if it was not his mind enabling the room to exist.

"Father?"

"...One moment," he mumbled out of habit and smacked his tongue against his pallet while preparing a few wards.

"I'm not a demon, Father," the boy sighed "I felt you being sad, so I came to see you,"

"Really?" he scoffed "Keiran is half a world away, and his magic is not that developed yet,"

"The Halla told me," the boy replied "I am glad you found him. I've missed him,"

Surana hesitated, the boy surely behaved like his son. Keiran had been awfully upset at the loss of the Halla and maybe there was some kind of bond that enabled a link, not too different from his ring that provided a link between him and Morrigan?

"So... where are you now?" he asked and the boy laughed

"Asleep, silly,"

Faeron could not help but smile and sat down on a chair watching the boy.

"Don't get lippy with me, you know what I mean"

"I'm in the Fade, and at Skyhold. Mother told me we are going to help the Inquisitor, because the Empress wants her to, and Mother think they will need the help because they don't seem to know much at all,"

The boy approached and put his hand on Faerons. He felt warm. Real. Those dark eyes, almost black, looked like those of his son. Bright, curious and always analyzing what was going on around him.

"Do you like it there? Are they nice to you?" he asked stroking his sons cheek with longing taring at his heart like hungry wolves.

"It is nice," Keiran mumbled "I miss you, and some of the kids say mean things about the Wardens. I don't like that. I... I want to go home, with you and Mother. And for everyone to stop fighting,"

"I wish we could," Fearon sighed and took his hand into his sons silky dark locks "I miss you and your Mother very much,"

"Is that why you were so sad, Father?"

"A bit. People are not very helpful either, which makes me tired,"

The boy nodded and leaned up against his chest quietly begging for a hug. Surana obliged holding his son tight.

It didn't matter if it really was Keiran at this point. He just needed to feel like he was with him for a moment.

"Father... You will come back, won't you?" the boy suddenly asked in a trembling whisper.

"Of course I will," Surana ensured Keiran and kissed his forehead softly "I said I would, did I not? I never lie to you,"

"Mother worries too, I know she do. She thinks I don't notice but she stays up when she thinks I'm asleep and worries,"

"Well... Tell her she need not do that," Fearon mumbled trying to keep the wear and tear on his voice away "I'm working as fast as I can, and I will join you as soon as possible,"

"Why are the Inquisitor so angry with the Wardens?"

"I don't know. I think he is mainly angry with the Orleisan Wardens. Do you remember that lady that kept sending me letters that I never replied to?"

"Yes," the boy looked confused and Surana sighed and put him on his lap.

"Well, that Lady is very afraid of what is happening right now, and she thinks we all have just one shot left of ending the Blights. She has now gone and done that kind of foolish things that only scared people do. I would intervene but I am to far away and I need to finish what I am doing, which will help all the other Wardens from being so scared, so the Inquisitor has to deal with her right now,"

"One shall never take decisions when scared or upset," Keiran said, repeating the lesson Faeron had drilled him on so many times "Fear makes you not think of consequences, and makes it easy for others to use you,"

"Exactly. She got so scared that she forgot that. I am sure it will end up well though, and if the Inquisitor can't make it right I'll come straight away to do so for him,"

"He isn't at all as scary as I thought he would be," the boy smiled "He is a Templar, Mother told me that, but he talks to me like I was anybody. He seems to care a lot about people,"

"That's good to hear,"

"There is a lot of people there, which is fun," the boy continued and Surana allowed himself to just relax and listen to the boy talking about all he had experienced since they saw each other last.

"There is this spirit-boy too," Keiran excitedly said after a long talk about the great amount of hiding places there was at Skyhold and how he and the nugs got along "He is nice. He always tries to help, and the wolf-elf really cares for him. Which is good. The wolf-elf scares me..."

"Wolf-elf?" Surana frowned and engaged more actively in the conversation "Why does he scare you?"

"I don't know," the boy sighed "He just... he walks the Fade. A lot. Mother thinks he is stupid because he really thinks he knows all about elves, but he doesn't even realize that I am half elvish. I... I just don't like him. He seems strange, sometimes I feel like he is the wolf that hunts me in my dreams. Mother say I shouldn't worry, but it would feel much better if you were there. You'd show him, wouldn't you, Father?"

"If I had to," Surana slowly said stroking his sons hair "But if your Mother isn't worried I am sure you are safe. This spirit boy, do you know what kind of Spirit he is?"

"Yes, his name is Compassion, but everyone calls him Cole. He likes that. He is nice,"

"Compassion, huh? Strange for a spirit to linger in this world, and to be allowed by a Templar,"

"Oh he has a body and all. It is neat. We go around the fortress helping people sometimes,"

"That's good. Be careful though, spirits can be tricky,"

"I know," the boy groaned and got out of his fathers lap "I need to wake up now, Father, can I come visit again later?"

"I think it would be better if you didn't," he said "Walking the Fade is dangerous, Keiran. Do not do it alone again, but I appreciate the visit. I've missed you very much,"

The boy looked disappointed but nodded with that serious face that Surana knew meant that Keiran would listen to his advice. Then he woke up staring up at the dark tent above him, hearing the soft sounds of his sleeping party around the camp.

He clinched his jaw and pressed back the tears as he got up. He hoped it had been Keiran. Regardless it made him feel a little bit less alone.


	21. Chapter 21

People stared as they walked down the streets but at this point Faeron was beyond caring and set foot up towards the Athenaeum of Restoration in the upper district of the city. He had friends, or rather colleagues there which possibly could help.

"Surana, we should probably take detour if you wish to move to the upper districts," Frank muttered as they pushed through the crowds of the city

"Don't be silly, I need to get there as fast as possible," Surana replied in a snarl

"Fine," the Ander concluded and hung back with Ohgren guarding their rear.

Not five minutes later Surana got stopped by a group of city guards blocking the gate into the Univiersity district.

"No elves," they said to Henselt who was right behind Surana

"Don't be ridiculous," Surana muttered "I'm going to meet with Magister Nola at the Athenaeum of Restoration,"

"Tell your knife-ear to only speak when spoken to," the guard captain muttered to Henselt who was growing pale as he saw his commanders face harden.

"I do not have time for this nonsense," Surana growled "Let me through,"

"I am sorry to inconvenience you, sir," the guard continued to Henselt "We had another uprising not two nights ago. Elves not belonging to a magister are not allowed in the upper district,"

"I have no time for this" Faeron said looking back at his troops and took a quick step through the fade placing him on the other side of the patrol.

The captain grew pale and took half a step back before he roared to his men to catch the elf, while Surana heard Frank bark out a few curses at him and Henselt call out;

"Commander! Warden-Commander Surana, please do not...oh bother all! Captain! We are Wardens. Hold back your man for the sake of the Maker! You will get them killed!"

Faeron noticed a troop of so called Templars approach investigating the screams from the guard captain, he just scowled and marched on towards his destination.

"Stop!" the templars called out and he spat towards them.

"Out of my way, soporati. I am here to see Magister Nola and you will not stand in my way,"

"Get out of the district, elf," the Knight-Templar leading the troops spat back "Magister Nola has made no announcement of having elven guests, so you are not going anywhere,"

Surana scowled and decided that enough was enough. Tevinters only understood one thing, power.

He grabbed the templar with a spectral hand and pulled him close making them all gasp and draw their swords.

"I am Faeron Surana, Warden-Commander of Fereldan. Survivor of the Fifth Blight, Defender of Amaranthine and the Magisters personal friend. Escort me and my troops to her, or I'll rip your and your patrols spines out and use the blood to make your Chantry regret that they ever made you lot stop drinking lyrium. Do I make myself clear, Knight-Templar?!"

"Y-yes sir," the templar whimpered and Surana tossed him aside.

As the templar tumbled to the ground he shrieked to his men and the guards who was surrounding the other Wardens;

"Lower your weapons! For the love of the Maker lower your weapons! The Commander is expected! We will escort them to the Magister!"

"Good boy," Surana scoffed and turned around glaring at the others.

All weapons got lowered and his Wardens quickly walked up to him.

"Bugger blighted shit," Ohgren muttered "Always the drama,"

"When in Tevinter, do as Tevinters do," Surana shrugged back and stepped over the quivering Templar walking towards the Athenaum "At least Nola will have time to prepare now,"

"...Brilliant plan," Frank grumbled "And if they hadn't backed down? If they had attacked?"

"It would had been the death of them," Surana simply replied "I have a reputation, even here. And I had my mind around at least three of the templars all ready, so they would not have attacked us,"

"Charming..." Frank spit on the ground in disgust as they walked through street upon street of architectural wonders.

The Athenaum was a grand four story building in pristine white marble, all its window and door frames clad in well polished glistening bronze and sheer lace curtains fluttering in the breeze that always graced the place. The breeze was due to the location of the building, but many of the less inquisitive persons visiting the Athenaum assumed it was magic as well. The whole block that surrounded it was mainly herb gardens or apothecaries which granted even the streets an earthy smell of herbs.

"The Athenaum of Restoration, Warden-Commander," the Knight-Templar mumbled as he bowed and backed away from Surana.

Surana didn't thank him nor pay him any more attention, the templar had served his use and was now out of Suranas mind.

"Who is this Nola? What can we expect?" Jana asked looking around them as if awaiting an ambush.

"She is a healer," Surana answered "In it's truest form. Her younger brother may be around as well, he is a dreamer. Just be quiet and all will be fine,"

Before anyone could protest he entered the Athenaum was and glanced at one of Nolas apprentices that stood at the reception.

"Is the Magister in?"

"Yes, master Surana," the young mage replied "She asked me to bring you to her straight away. Shall your party come with as well?"

"They may, if they wish," he said with a shrug hoping they would not, but they did.

The apprentice, a young woman with a tanned complexion and delicate features walked them up towards the fourth floor. He noted Ohgren, Dan and Henselt eyeing her as they ascended the stairs and scowled at them. If she was training for Nola she was a brilliant mage, and deserved more than oogling from the Wardens.

She led them to the sun room, Suranas favourite room of the Athenaum. It was clad in altering glass and sheer crystals both as walls and ceiling, filled with a jungle of herbs and medicinal plants. In the middle of the room Magister Veilia Nola sat reading a book. Surana couldn't help but smile, she did that too him. She was a brilliant healer, not bogged down by her want to help others like many of her kind. She had a brilliant mind for politics and she had been a great help for him and Avernus during the last few years.

"Faeron," she mused as she looked up faking surprise when they entered "The Divine lands of my ancestry has yet to recover from this foudroyant sojourn that you grant us. I bid thee and the Wardens that walk this surreptitious path of serendipitous conciliabuls elysium beneath the roof of mercy in this city of iscariotic diablorists. Please, accompany me among the flora and fauna of life, quell my need for interaction with those who like me seek to abolish the perils of the righteous,"

He couldn't help but grin as he saw his Wardens awkwardly wince as they tried to wrap their heads around what she had said. She was a blast. It took some getting used to, but he enjoyed watching others squirm when trying to converse with her.

"Of course, Magister Nola," he said giving her a small bow as he approached and sat down on the bench beside her "I must beg her merciful forgiveness for this intrusion to her sanctum, I come with hasty and grief stricken news as well for a plea for aid. Templars of the South Chantry has taken the life of our dear comrade Avernus and thus halted our efforts of making the Taint all but a grim memory for the Wardens,"

He could play this game too, and he knew she liked when he did.

She gasped and clasped her hands in his.

"These words you speak bring me grief without measure, dear friend. Is this verily words of truth, that our tender Avernus has met the Everlasting sleep by the trifle and unjust means of Templars? Tales of such travesties wreck the very essence of my soul! The burdens of your duty must lay upon thee as mountains weighing down the earth! If the lending of my ear to you will give any solace in these trying times know that my doors of my heart will always be open to provide a place for confessions of grief for you,"

"It is much appreciated," he smiled and glanced at his Wardens.

They were standing at the door astounded by the scene that was playing out before them.

"Alena," the magister turned to her assistant "You may take these guardians of the world and sanctity of the mortal realms, the last bastions against the corruption which is staining their blood and our world down to the parlour. If there is a wish on their behalf to partake in nourishments or entertainment, you shall waiter to their wishes. I find a great need to confer with their commander without the intrusion of others present,"

"Of course, Magister Nola," the apprentice nodded and showed the other Wardens out.

Veilia Nola took a deep breath and watched the commander with great concern;

"You look terrible, Faeron. Does Morrigan and Keiran know of how much this is draining you? I still think you should think about prioritising family time at the moment. Or to write down your research in such a way that others can continue it,"

"I won't" he muttered and scowled as she put a hand on his forehead and then started to measure his pulse "I'm so close, Veilia... We were so close..."

"Rumours say that the Wardens in the South have gone mad, and Weisshaupt has closed their gates. The First Warden won't respond to any letters," Nola noted and glanced at him "I first thought he had just taken after you,"

"No... there.. there is a new Song," Faeron sighed "We all hear it. We all hear this new Calling. No matter how long you've been a Warden. It is unnatural. It makes my work even more important,"

"You won't do much work at all if you are dead," she muttered and nipped the leaf of a plant and rolled it between her fingers pressing out the moisture in it "Chew this,"

"I came to seek aid for my research not a health exam," he complained but chewed the leaf.

It did ease the headache that had grumbled in the back of his head all day.

"What can I help with?" she asked "I've examined your blood, and frankly I can not find a way to remove the taint without killing you. It would also, if you theoretically survived, be in no way sufficient to cure all Wardens, and make you unsuitable to slay Archdemons. Which is kind of the point of being a Warden,"

He nodded and lost his eyes up in the sky and on how the light split in to tiny rainbows as the sun shined through the crystal plates in the roof.

"I need access to the 12 floor in the grand library, Veilia. I need to get my hands on Franctorius book;  _The Teachings on the Blood and the Blight._ The grand library is the only place on Thedas where I can go and a copy might be kept,"

She hesitated and rose from her chair slowly pacing the room glancing at him.

"...I might be able to help, but it is difficult now," she mumbled "There is things happening here in Tevinter, political turmoil. Magister Pavus son recently left to join the Inquisition, and there is rumour about a new supremacist cult called Venetori which seem to work for this old Magister the Inquisition claim blew up their Divine. You are quite controversial, Faeron... And old companions of yours lead the Inquisition... You understand how it might look, do you not?"

"...What old co... oh... You mean Leliana? That is a joke, is it not? I killed her. I cut her head off. To assume I am in league with her is ludicrous,"

"Her head seems very much intact," Nola noted with a slight smile "And her spies are all over Minrathos,"

Surana slumped in the chair where he sat and glared at his friend. She felt sorry for his struggle, he knew that. She was also a skilled politician and he knew she didn't want to risk her own standing to save his fleeting life.

"... Is your brother in town?" he asked and she nodded

"Always. We are stationary, being quite the opposites of you and your family,"

"Hopefully you two don't have children either? I have heard it might not have the best long-term effects,"

"You are terrible," she scoffed but her smiled assured him he had not offended "I would never let my brother impregnate me. The scandal. Tsss. You have no manners, Faeron,"

"I know. People have tried to kill me due to it," he muttered "He is a dreamer, tell me would it be possible for him to visit you on the other side of the world even as a child? In the Fade of course,"

She frowned

"I do not know. How come? Is Keiran showing tendencies for dream walking?"

Surana smirked. The smirk of a smug proud father.

"Keiran shows tendencies for most kinds of magic," he mused "With the right education, which he is getting, he will become a brilliant man,"

"Be careful," she mumbled "Great power comes with great responsibility, Faeron. Do not weigh him down with it too early. He will rebel, and it will be disastrous,"

"Let me and Morrigan worry about our child," he replied defensively and locked his gaze on her "Will you help me gain access to the library?"

She grumbled for a bit but sighed and nodded;  
"I assume you will manhandle a few more Templars otherwise and force your way in there? I'll help. The Maker and all of us know how stubborn you are,"

"It has kept me alive,"

"Veilia! I saw Wardens downstairs! Is Faeron... Oh Faeron... you look awful!"

The words followed the entrance of Veilias brother, Paulus, and the fair eyed man quickly walked over to Faeron kneeling in front of the elf gazing into the Wardens dark eyes.

"Oh Maker," he mumbled and Faeron noted the dreamers eyes grow misty.

"Paulus! Not now! We are discussing important matters!" Veila barked but the young man stayed put and Faeron felt his spirit cloak itself around his mind.

Soft words, half humming left the young mans voice as he absorbed what he could from Faerons guarded mind. Veila made a sour annoyed face but let him be, knowing he would not stop until he had gotten his way.

"I can talk while he do this," Faeron sighed and leaned back into his chair "How much time will you need to get me the appropriate clearance?"

"...Depends. If you don't want to enrol in my service maybe a week," she replied pouring crystal clear water into a glass for him eyes resting on her brother "He is such a bother sometimes,"

"There is another side, there's something I will never see. I never want to see it's face, because it makes the losses so much clearer" Paulus hummed and Faeron felt a bit uncomfortable as he tried to carry on his conversation with Veilia;

"A week? I'll survive I guess... I need to try and send some letters. The First Warden is pestering me again,"

"You know he might stop if you followed orders" Magister Nola mused and poured a glass of water for herself "But knowing you I doubt you will follow orders from the First Warden first when you get the title,"

"I do not want it," Surana sighed "When this is over I just want to retreat to some comfortable woodland house and focus on research and raising Keiran,"

"Morrigan will never agree to that," Veila laughed "She loves living in the mist of things, and when she and I talked about raising children she was quite adamant that she would not raise him in isolation,"

"Well... We disagree," he muttered in response "I've lived my whole life surrounded by people. It doesn't help against the isolation. If you are a remarkable person you will be ostracized,"

"But if I escape from a disappointed dream and there again maybe I can feel the meaning behind the silence then?" Paulus continued and Veilia rose an eyebrow against Surana

"He needs to learn to use his uniqueness to his advantage, Surana. Not everyone survives barging through life as you do. That you survive is just proof of the Makers mysterious plans,"

"Or my skill," he muttered making her burst out laughing

"Oh please! Dear! Darling! Nothing but Divine intervention explains why the Wardens haven't sought an alliance with the Chantry to kill you yet! You are a political nightmare! You go around practising open blood magic, invoking vague promises of favour to undo Circles and basically do everything but spit in the face of every noble you meet. And at the same time you rescue the world from disaster over and over again, clean up criminal and just regular messes around the country like no guard, noble or chantry member have ever succeeded and no matter how terrifying or overwhelming your enemies may seem you always come out on top. You are a nightmare for all sides, darling. I love you, but you are,"

He waved her comments and affectionate smile away and glanced down on her brother who was getting a bit to clingy for his taste now.

"Paulus. Back off,"

"Always diving into the shadows looking for the light. Secrets and lost dreams, truth no one remembers. When one is lost in the darkness for so long you sometime begin to be able to see in the dark,"

Their eyes met and Surana scoffed. He disliked having people reading him like that, but he knew Paulus never would tell anyone. The young man was hardly able to hold a normal conversation within the walls of his home with his sister, and any strangers who approached him got nothing but Fade-inspired gibberish.

"He is getting closer to you," the Dreamer mumbled stroking Suranas cheek lost in the whispers again "The Wolf is done sleeping, the Owl needs to fly again. He wants you,"

"Tell him to fuck off, will you?" Surana groaned "No one is having me, they can just stop trying,"

Veila snickered and slid up from her chair more like an ethereal creature than human and put a soft hand on her brothers shoulder;

"If only they listened to such words. The life of a mage would be simple if we could just tell the tempters to leave. Come Paulus. The Commander needs a bath and some food, and you should go talk to Mother,"

"Yes… she is lonley when I am not there," Paulus whispered and left.

Veila stood there in the indoor jungle of hers, a sad melancholy gaze in her eyes and for a moment lost in thought. Surana watched her as he walked up to the windows looking out over the city.

"So what is troubling you?" he asked as she moved up beside him.

"Paulus," she replied "He is slipping further and further in. It is becoming harder to keep him here, as the veil tore and these rifts came about… He disappeared for days. I searched every where, but he was just gone. Then he came back, just sat in his bed one morning and spoke as if he had been walking the Fade. I.. He brought nothing back, as far as I've been able to tell but… he sleeps deeper for every night. I might be selfish, but I do not want to lose him,"

"You can't control that," he replied "So...yeah… I'd really appreciete that bath,"

"Asshole… I'll let you and your Wardens live here, in the quarters you and Morrigan had the last time you where here. Go find Aries, she will make sure you have everything you need,"

"Thanks. Come talk to me when you know anything?"

"Of course," she replied and glanced at him as he left "And Faeron?"

"Yes?"

"Sometimes just pretending to being able to empathize with people is a good thing,"

"I know. But you are my friend, I'd hate to lie to you. You can't control it, and I have no comforting words to give. For that I am sorry, but me being sorry changes nothing. Which we both know,"

"Asshole,"

"Anger on the other hand, can drive a person just as well as faith, if not better," he noted and left in search of that bath.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The bath was hot enough to fill the whole room with a thick mist thick as an autumn fog and Surana had lowered himself so deep into the tub Nola provided that only his face was above the surface. He liked baths. His long black hair formed a dark halo around his head and the sounds of the outside world became contorted through the water. From time to time he submerged even his face and just laid there under the surface contemplating the matter of existing.

Not this day though. This day he lightly bobbed on the surface trying to relax his muscles and ease the tension related head ache that had been plaguing him for days. Enjoying the best he could the moment of solitude and silence.

 

A week. What was he supposed to do in Minrathos for a week before he could access the library? Frank would grow so impatience. All of his party would. He would risk breaking their necks if he was supposed to listen to their whining for a week.

 

He let out a deep sigh into the room and once more wondered why Morrigan had insisted that he would return to the Wardens. Why she insisted of raising Keiran among people. People were idiots. Bastards. He felt his jaw and neck tense up as soon as the thought of _people_ entered his mind and he grunted as he tried to massage his own neck.

 

“This is a joke,” he muttered and sat up trying to get a better grip but couldn't.

It was with a disgruntled noise he slid back into the water and closed his eyes. He wasn't getting up until that knot had resolved itself. He couldn't deal with those meat heads right now anyway. Instead he slowly drifted away his head bobbing over the surface and slowly breathing in the warm mist waiting for his body to relax itself.

 

He let his mind wander off, remembering how he had floated in Lake Calenhad, before Anders had tried to run away by swimming from the tower and they had forbidden the mages to bath in the lake. A fleeting half forgotten memory of steam and the smell of juniper and his mothers voice. He pushed that away firmly. Nothing good ever came of remembering her. It refused to go though, prodding at his mind like an insistent child refusing to be ignored.

 

He left the bath even more annoyed than when he had started it, but at least he was clean. He did his best to dry his hair, disliking to have it hanging free when he wasn't at home alone. It was easy to grab and frankly it made him look far less intimidating with damp black locks rolling down his back and falling in his eyes. It was worse allowing it to dry in some kind of bun or ponytail though. It tangled horrendously. So he clinched his jaw and with his hair flowing free he sought up the other Wardens finding them around the dinner table. Neva was cautiously trying out the different sauces and Kolt was poking a dough wrapped piece of meat suspiciously.

“Oh eat up,” their Commander muttered and reached for a plate.

Frank stared at his hair and Janas eyes grew big and a bit excited.

“Commander! I've never seen you with your hair out!” she said and Surana wondered how desperate the warrior had to be for conversation if she got excited talking about his hair.

“It's damp. It'll tangle if I put it up,”

“Isn't that a drag,” Jana agreed “Mine is horrible, I wish I had Nevas silky straight hair, it seems easy to manage,”

Surana grunted and put some salad and the dough wrap, that he knew as tortellini, on his plate.

“Frank was just making us all tell one memory from our childhood,” Dan noted peering over at Jana “He suggested we would continue on to what made us end up in Fort Drake,”

“But now we have to hear your memory from your childhood first, Surana,” Frank noted reaching for a bowl of meatballs

“You won't,” Surana replied shortly

“Come on! It is a Warden tradition to get to know each other as equals,” Henselt moaned gaining a glare from Surana

“An Anderfel tradition maybe. I'm not sharing though,” he replied “My past is mine. You have no obligation to tell anyone anything about you. Ever,”

“And that, kids,” Frank grumbled from his side of the table “Is why everyone hates your Commander. His asshole behaviour and his fondness for slitting people arteries open to solve his problems,”

Surana didn't reply, he wasn't going to even acknowledge Franks idiocy. He was above being manipulated by brutes like that ogre of a man.

“Hey,” Neva piped up “The Commander has done many good things while we been around… he… he…”

“He did what?” Frank prompted and her eyes darted across to the others for help.

“He did his best to free the soul of a girl who had been trapped in the Deep Roads,” Dan said

“Yeah. Yeah he did. And… and he fought off some elven apostate who tried to ambush us!” Neva shouted out.

“He did not,” Surana cooly said “He chose to attack me when I came to close, for what reason I do not know, but then again he wasn't an apostate but an abomination. But thank you for your support. I however, have no need for dear Frank to approve of me, so have no need to dazzle him with more heroics. He won't believe them anyway,”

“But you aren't through and through evil!” Neva argued “You… you have good sides, Commander! And it pisses me off that this shem keeps going on about how bad you are! It sure as hell wasn't the Anderfel Wardens that saved us all from the Blight! Or got us out of Fort Draken!”

“How in the Makers name do you inspire such loyalty?” Frank asked and now Ohgren was the one glaring down the Ander

“Because he is a bloody good man, that's why. These peeps might not have known the Warden long enough to know that very well, but that man you continue to spit on has done more good than I bet all of you Weishaupt piss pots do in a life time,”

“Ohgren,” Surana calmly said “Don't bother. They have made up their mind about me, and I don't care enough to want you to waste your breath on their opinions,”

“Well, if he continues I'll smash his head in,” the dwarf grumbled.

Frank just shook his head and looked perplexed.

“One story, Surana. Just give me one, I'll even stretch beyond your childhood. How did you get that scar over your face? I didn't see it the last time we met,”

“Templars,” Surana simply said “I was out looking for someone's child, and templars were convinced the child was a mage. I stepped in between and got hacked in the face. They got of worse,”

“Since when do you go looking for children that has run astray?” Frank scoffed.

Surana just glared and replied;

“Since it was mine. The day Templars lay a hand on my son, is the day I have died,”

“Yeah… I still don't get how you could get a kid that didn't die of the taint,” Frank muttered

“Life greatest mysteries,” Surana replied in a sour tone and Frank glanced over the table

“… How did they get so close? I've seen you fight. You are very fast with your area spells...”

“I had to get close,” Surana replied in a slightly bored tone.

It was a disguise. He had no wish to talk to Frank about this, but wouldn't amuse the Ander by making a fuss.

“Why?”

“As I said… They were between me and my son,”

“The boy was unprotected, nothing between him and the Templars,” Ohgren added “The Commander just… magicked himself in between and the Templars nearly split his head in two. Morrigan got angry after that and made mush of the Templars before I even got to them. We thought Surana would lose his eye but nope, just that nasty scar,”

“Happy? You got your story,” Surana muttered glaring at Frank and the Ander nodded

“I'm happy. Glad to hear that you would sacrifice yourself for your own blood at least,”

“I'm glad that I'm not some grunt lapdog, so I guess we both have things to be happy about,” Surana bit of and took his plate and left to eat in the garden. His Wardens followed him, and it pleased him more than he wanted to admit.  


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Life and inspiration came in the way!

The week went slowly. Surana felt like a babysitter for adults most of the time trying to keep his Wardens from causing havoc in the city. He was impatient, as always, to get to the library and get working. Veila did her best to try and help him by having him help her with some research, but he couldn't concentrate. He could see her worry, and her analytical mind diagnosing him every time he coughed or had to sit down because he felt faint.

“… I have never seen the Taint affect someone so strongly,” she mumbled one rainy afternoon as he sat gasping for air in her winter garden “Let me take a look at your blood, Surana,”

He flinched but fought his initial compulsion to pull away and deny her aid. Instead he reached out his arm and allowed her to bleed him.

“Do you know what the taint is?” she asked and he shook his head making an exasperated face

“No. I can not put my finger on it. It is exhausting. It behaves in a way like lyrium but it isn't lyrium. It is something else. It's not parasitic either, I thought it might be at first. I have no idea… I'm fumbling in the dark,”

His voice grew weak and tired as he spoke, as if uttering the words made all those feelings he locked away in a dark secret hole within himself to surface. She glanced at him and gave him one of those reassuring motherly smiles she gave all her patients when they worried.

“You will figure it out,” she replied and went to her workstation to examine her sample “But you need to take care of yourself as well. Paulus is telling me you don't sleep very well,”

“Nightmares,” he muttered “and an acute sense that sleeping is wasting time I do not have,”

She nodded and put his blood in a vial examining it with utmost concentration as her hands went down into different drawers picking up minerals, salts and cutting liquids as they had so many times before.

“We will figure it out,” she mumbled “I've yet do find a disease I can not cure, and this won't be it,”

He chuckled, or it was meant as one at least. It came out as sounds lacking any kind of joy or hope. Sitting there, watching her experiment to find what was in his blood made his own weakness to real. He could feel death drawing close and he did not want it. He could not allow it. He would not give in to the darkness, to the longing of that sweet cold darkness.

“I need to get to those books, Veila,” he said and she gave him another nod

“I know, but things take time. I am sorry. Do you know when Morrigan plans to leave the Inquisition? I would love to have her and Kieran here again. He is such a lovely boy and she is just amazing. I have never learned so much about the Fade as when the two of you stayed here,”

“You know I don't know,” he muttered “I wish she would do it today. There is far too many Templars in the Inquisition...”

“I know, it feels like it is all that some of the Magisters talk about now a days. As if we don't have internal problems to deal with… urgh… Did you hear Alexis actually went to Redcliff with some of the others and indentured hundreds of mages?”

“Yes,” he growled “Fiona was one of them. I would have needed her. She got herself killed striking a deal with that lunatic,”

“The Venetori is a menace,” she agreed pouring drops of his blood into a beaker closely examining how it started to fizz and bubble “People need to stop wasting their time trying to restore what was. Tevinter is great in its own. We should focus on getting rid of the Qunari and rebuilding from what we have instead,”

“I could not care less about what Tevinter does,” he replied in a dry tone “Your empire is falling, there is too much unrest among the slaves, and about the slaves from outside,”

She looked up for a moment and scoffed;

“Because the indebted and starving poor of Fereldan and Orleis has it better? Your circles were slavery, nobody but the mages objected to that. Not even all of your mages. Some people don't want freedom. Those who do, they get it. One way or another,”

“It is a difference being your own master and failing at life, and to be stuck in the mud under someone else boot because he owns you,” Surana noted “Believe me, I know,”

“Elves,” she scoffed while infusing her concoction with lyrium and watching it carefully for reactions “If you were so great your people would not be slaves. There are tremendous individuals within the elven community, such as yourself, but as a whole your people are… weak and seem quite comfortable being treated like scum. After all, man of those who leave the Imperium leave for the Qun,”

“Most people, regardless of race, are useless,” he replied in disgust, sinking further into his chair “Maggots feasting on whatever shit they will be thrown,”

She eyed him for a moment but said nothing. Veila, unlike many healers, did not pander to the idea that all people were equal, nor that all was worth saving. She did however not share Suranas deep despise for most things sentient.

For a while they just fell silent. She concentrating on her experiment and him waiting for something, he didn't know what but he could feel something approaching.

“There is someone at the door,” he mumbled and as she raised her head from the beaks and flasks a rapid knock came through the door.

“Whom is it?” she asked switching the beaker with Suranas blood to another concoction ever so swiftly.

“Magister Nanterius, may I enter?”

“You may,” Veila said with a lingering frost in her voice and Surana followed her movements cautiously.

“Should I depart and leave you and the Magister to your business?” he asked and she shook her head slightly as the door slid open and a woman of great posture entered.

Surana had never met Magister Nanterius, he had only heard Veila moan about the woman and her exasperating want to befriend the Nolas.

A stuck up neuvo rich miner with the refinement of a pig was about the most positive description he had ever gotten. Hence it was with curious eyes that he watched the meeting of the two magisters unfold.

Veila was quite young and looked like a crisp winter morning with her blond hair in a thick simple braid down her back, dressed in simple but very expensive and elegant white robes of pure silk while magister Nanterius was wearing a bright blue velvet gown adorned with numerous gems covering all the colours of the rainbow. Surana noted that the hem of her dress was dark with dust and her shoes so high she almost tumbled down as she walked the slik onyx floor of Veilas laboratory.

“Nola, darling! I just had to come straight away! Have you heard the news? There are Wardens in town! _Wardens_! Here, in the Golden district! Isn't it an outrage?”

Veila sighed and dried her hands on a piece of cloth eyeing the peacock looking woman before her.

“The truths of these matters have been shown to the House of Nola before the Goodwoman of the whispered words came before us, Magister. How are the tides of the city handling these words of Defenders of the Blight in our fair lands?”

“Oh..they are in uproar, Nola! Many speak of the Wardens as a grave omen of bad times! I feel I am inclined to join them, because the Venetori seem delighted of the news,”

“Is that how the truth lay?” Nola mumbled and looked over Nanterius shoulder upon a confused Surana.

“It is! It is! Bad for business I say, the Venetori is such a menance. Ever since they stirred up things in Fereldan and Orlais trade has been going down! Ruining me they are, of course they are very interested in buying lyrium but I have to see to my other interests you see! The dwarfs seem to have struck some kind of accord with the Inquisition, and the Qunari too!”

“A grim winter rises for the Imperium when the Children of the Stone and the heretics of the Qun fall under the banner of the false Preacher,” Nola agreed and Surana scoffed.

Magister Nanterius seemed to never have noted him as she entered the room, but then again; He was an elf.

It was a very dramatic effect, her turning around and seeing the Commander of Fereldan sitting in the chair just behind her listening to their every word.

“The scandal!” she gasped “ Nola! It is the Warden-Commander of Fereldan! What is he doing here!? He threatened the Guards! Are you a prisoner?”

“Frett not, Magister Nanterius, the commander and I have dealings with one and each other. I am nobodies prisoner and he came to seek expertise far beyond the Grey Wardens mystical realm. He may however, if that is his wish, grant you some peace of mind. Is it within the realm of your knowledge why the Venetori approve of Warden presence in our city, Warden-Commander of Fereldan?”

“It's not,” he simply replied, to drained to play Veilas game “And I am curious to why Magister Nanterius feels so familiar? She is not a Warden of Tevinter, and yet I could sense her like she was my sister,”

He could see rage bubbling behind Nanterius well versed facad, being called a like to an elfs sister. The shame. He ignored her and glanced over to Veila. She seemed delighted that he had managed to insult her guest.

Tevinters…

“I have no idea why you would feel that way,” Nanterius scoffed and aimed her nose at the ceiling “Well if you are entertaining, Nola, I really shouldn't be disturbing. Please send a slave to fetch me when you have time to converse,”

“Of course, Magister,” Nola purred as the other woman left the room.

“Entertain you, that spectacle?” Surana asked and she gave him a quick nod

“She looked ill,” the healer noted “ A strange glow in her eyes. There has been rumors of a new kind of lyrium. Red lyrium. I have adviced any mage against using it, after the whole accident in Kirkwall but… maybe… I will look into it,”

“Red lyrium? It drives people mad no?”

“It also is far more potent then normal lyrium,”

“Great,” he sighed “Another thing for idiots to abuse and blame for their idiocy. I'm going to bed. Wake me up when you have results of my blood or we can go to the library,”

She smirked as he got up and in an uncharacteristicly girly voice chirped;

“Avenrus would be proud of how grumpy you have become. The student follows the master well,”

He just glared and walked way, longing for the cool linnens of his bed and to just sleep for a bit.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for all the time it takes me to write nowadays!

He didn't know for how long he slept. He only knew it had been the first sleep in weeks where he had not been hounded by any nightmares at all. Just soft dark sleep.  
It was one of Veilas apprentices that woke him up, softly clearing her throat a bit unsure about how to approach the grouchy Warden.  
Surana glared at her through the darkness and growled a scornful;  
“What?!”  
She flinched, as most people when he was in a foul mood and they had to converse with him.  
“Magister Nola asked me to fetch you, sir Warden, it seems your request to enter the library has been granted,”  
“Finally,” he muttered and rolled out of the bed and grabbed his robes “Tell her to meet me in the courtyard, I will not wait a moment longer than I have too,”  
“She requested that you drink this before going anywhere,” the girl mumbled and put forward a small bottle “It is for your ailment,”  
He took the bottle, examining it. It was a clear green liquid, it smelt foul and he glanced down at the young mage girl watching him.  
“Later,” he replied shoving the flask into his potion belt.  
The girl flinched again, making him even more sure that he was not to drink that until Veila had reassured him it was from her.  
“What is your name girl?” he asked as they moved through the palace  
“Aurora, sir,” she replied and he rolled his eyes at her.  
“Family name...”  
“Oh, Erimond, sir,” she replied and he nodded.  
For the moment, he would not act, but her name told him more than she seemed to realize. That was a problem for later.

Veila frowned as they came out to the courtyard, eyeing her apprentice closely;  
“Aurora? I sent Daphne after the Warden-Commander, where did she go?”  
“Oh I was going that way anyway, Mistress, so I took upon myself to fetch him,” the young woman said with a deep courtesy towards her mistress adding “Daphne is terribly behind on the potions you ordered, I thought it might give her some time for her other duties,”  
Surana rolled his eyes and stepped passed the Tevinter mages, leaning ever so slightly on his staff.  
“I'm fetched anyhow, let's go Magister,”  
Veila gave him a quick nod and followed suite, guiding him towards a carriage that awaited them nearby. Well inside, hidden from prying eyes and ears he passed her the potion;  
“Is this from you?” he asked and she shook her head sniffing it.  
“Poison,” she muttered “Who gave it to you? Aurora?”  
“Indeed. Crafty little thing,” he noted leaning into the velvet pillows adorning the carriage-seats.  
“A fool more like it,” Veila scoffed “Why kill you in my home? I would find out. She puts me and her family to shame with this kind of clumsy scheming,”  
“If you had the time. Most Wardens would not shed tears for my demise, but they would avenge me and honestly, Veila, they are a foolish bunch. Maybe she counted on them killing you and all other suspects before the truth was relieved,”  
She gave him a short nod, it seemed to be a logical conclusion of what her pupils plans might have been. It was a matter for later though.

As they rolled through the streets of Minrathos Surana glanced at the city. He liked Minrathos. Magic was everywhere, the very air in the nobler parts were saturated with its essence. Its inhabitants were another matter. Like every where else the wealthy was wealthy by stomping down the weak, such was the world. He understood that. The practice of slavery however… It annoyed him.  
He was a believer of that the strong always would triumph over the weak, but even the weak deserved to at least have rights to themselves. To be their own master, and what they did with that was up to them. Most would seek another, because they could not and would not be their own masters. Others would try and fail, such was the world. No body however, should be forced to give up their own freedom just because they were born a certain way.

Veila watched them as they passed by the palaces of Tevinters elite, her blue eyes clouded with thoughts of her own, her fingers cautiously stroking the vial of poison in her hand.

“What is it you hope to find here, Faeron?” she asked as the library came into their sight.

It was a huge complex of buildings, towers reaching so far up they disappeared into the clouds, towering over the university square. The pinnacle of Tevinter knowledge. A temple of knowledge and research.  
Surana sighed and rubbed his temples for a moment and glanced her way;  
“Anything. The manuscript has a promising title, and it is old. Legend says it is the authors complete research into old elven and dwarven rites and mythos and combines those with his own haematology research,”  
“Maybe it isn't a blood issue?” she asked making him frown  
“All research Avernus and I did indicates that it is,”  
“It could be an issue of tissue, that the joining somehow alters your tissues making them reject themselves after a while or writhing,”  
“It seems unlikely. If this fails, if I can gain no knew clues, feel free to test your theory,” he muttered leaving the carriage before it had fully come to a halt.  
Veila followed him with a roll of her eyes and muttering something about stubborn elves.

A whisper went through the entrance hall of the library as he and Veila entered, he could see the eyes of young mages growing big as saucers and the older ones frowning as if he was some sort of rodent the cat dragged in. He didn't care. He was used to it.  
Instead, he walked up to the desk and watched the librarian closely  
“Good sir Surana,” the librarian said in a calm monotone tone while he continued to stack books on a trolley.  
“I'm looking for Franctorius book; The Teachings on the Blood and the Blight. Where should I start?”  
“Plan 12, the research department,” the Librarian sighed and eyed him “You look unwell. Please refrain from vomiting on any of the books. They are priceless,”  
Surana nodded and walked further in, through tunnels and halls filled to the brim with books. The first floor was most impressive, he estimated a ceiling height of at least 20 ft with ladders reaching all the way up and bookcases lining every inch of the outer walls and forming columns and hallways instead of interior walls.  
He noted quite a few people strolling by saying a few quick words to Veila as they walked to the elevators that lead up through the towers and towards the restricted research department. He sighed as they got into the cage of the lift and watched her for a moment;  
“...What did they say?”  
“That I should not associate myself with elves, especially not elves like you. Apparently you are trouble,” she replied with a strained smile “I hate these people. Locked away in their towers forming opinions of a world they have never acted in,”  
He smirked and leaned against the wall of the lift;  
“Let them rot in their towers. I am trouble, for those who get in my way,”  
She grumbled but didn't argue, instead a comfortable silence fell within the lift as they were hoisted up towards the 12th floor.  
He mused over the thought that they were going past millions of books as they went up, and all that knowledge, all those memories that existed here. Surana did have a deep love for libraries, they were the custodians of knowledge and also a place where people became immortal. At least until some idiots burned the books in some righteous rage.  
“I'll be in the herbology section if you need me,” Veila said as they arrived to their floor “I'm going to look for something to make your potions more potent,”  
“Thank you,” he nodded as he walked towards the special request shelves to get his book and set off to a quiet corner where he could study it.  
The book was smaller then expected, not more then 5 to 6 inches long and a few inches thick. Hopefully that was because it's contents were well argued and boiled down to what one needed to know and not because there wasn't anything to gain from the book but the knowledge that Franctorius too knew nothing of the Taint. Finding a nice comfortable chair in a dark corner the Warden-Commander settled in and started reading, simultaneously making notes without even noticing.  
The world disappeared when he read, he sunk into the text and was absorbed by it's contexts and ramifications. It seemed to be a dairy as well as his academic findings researching blood and the taint and whatever connection it seemed to be in between.

 

_7th day of Serventis, the year of 1009._

 

_The nature and desires of the taint so ever present within the life blood of my brothers and sisters continue to elude me. They speak of a strange calling, described as a song of wonders or as whispers within their minds of which_ non _other can tell. Alas upon me they have thrust the task of finding them answers, and upon that a solution from their perceived ailment. There is vile talk within the Order that this Calling would be a punishment from the Gods, such rumours I would meet with scoff and grumbles. Which Gods may rest their judgement upon souls they with such merciless apathy abandoned when the Blight swallowed these lands?_

_There have been learned men and women before me, set on answering the riddles that lay in the Warden blood. Little truth has been derived from the teaching of these, as war and the Blight itself proved often to real and pressing a matter for them to tend to. Chance and luck might be as much of my mistress in this venture as knowledge and the wits of my mind. I pray for a peace that lasts, for the ravaging of war is but the death for alliances of the learned and wise._

He didn't know how many hours that passed before Veila politely cleared her throat to get his attention and said;  
“If my dear comrade and visitor would find it within his desirers the time has flown in such rapid successes that there might be a wise path of action to find some kind of nourishment. May I lay upon thee a request to join myself and if they feel inclined others on such a hunt?”  
“I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request” he muttered and didn't even look up from his text “I'll find my own way back, feel free to leave me here,”  
“There is doubt within my soul and mind that such a decision is the wisest to take upon a night like this,” she noted and he grumbled  
“I need to read this. I can't take it with me and it is too important. Send some of the Wardens to escort me if you are worried”  
“I'll send some of them over. Shall I deal with Erimond?”  
“If you'd like to,”  
She gave him a nod, a quick pat on the shoulder and left him to his studies.  
Surana grunted and flipped a few pages, gandering the pages concluding that Franctorius seemed to have travelled a similar road as Avernus and him with his research. The difference being that Franctorius obviously wasn't a Grey Warden by blood but only by allegiance.

 

  
_19th of Frumentum, 1016_

 

_I sometimes fear that the words I utter upon the ears of others are in my mind alone. How often shall they haunt me with these requests for a final solution? How often shall my scribes need to pry down the words that I am yet to know the answers to the riddles this blood withhold from my mind?_

_Alas, I shall refrain from speaking more of the frustrations of my heart, and on this paper write of my findings in its stead. The blood is the key, that is clear. The blood of the Blighted ingested maketh the Warden. It brings man and beast closer and changes the mere nature of the man that a Warden becomes. With it comes blessings, and curses. Their blood sings, as does the blood of the Blighted. That song is the blessing that_ shield _our Wardens and_ bring _confusion upon the Blighted. As I have studied the faiths and stories of the battles fought over the two centuries just past as much has become clear. The Blighted sense the Warden as themselves and this relation seems to be the very truth in which the Wardens victory lies. It is to my beliefs that it is that truth we must look further to reveal the answers to the riddles of the Calling. For as much as a blessing in battle, the blood is nothing but a death sentence for those who answer the Call of Duty to protect us all from the Blight. As winters have grown to summers and grass and bush begin to weave a blanket for the dead upon the battlefields the Song calls Grey away. It is a new story for every person that tell them to my ear, some tell it is like a song from a long missed lover beckoning them home. Others speak of whispers, voices they have never known but that calls true to their heart telling them their time has come. The results of the stories, however, they do never tell anything different. The Warden walks, following their Calling, into the deep roads of the dwarfs they go. Until death finds them._

_Shall that be the fate of all our heroes? Is death really all the world can offer for those who gave that which most would not? Some of those who call themselves my peer would argue so. That instead of searching for an answer and solution to giveth our Wardens a choice we shall accept their faith and honour it as well as it can be honoured._ Seniles _and cravens I call them._

_I have spent many a night pondering the question of this Song of which my brothers and sisters speak. One thing alone in this world sings without the blessing of lungs and mouth. It sings to the children of the Stone and to the Mages._   
_Lyrium._   
_Such a far-fetched thought, it first found me unwavering of its foolishness but through the nights it has grown on me like the sun during the birth of a new day._

_My spirit reinvigorated with this epiphany I set to the task of finding out more about the mysteries of Lyrium, seeking up the undisputed master of this; The Children of the Stone. It was a long, and sometimes tiresome task to gain their trust and their aid. The Blight I assure you may not be a_ torn _in the side of us upon the surface of this world, that being said war still rages below us. The Shapers of the Stone are in my humble opinion the crowning jewel where the heart of dwarven culture rests. Their vast archives and dedicated_ serves _to their people is a treasure reaching beyond anything I can think of to compare it with. As trust was earned they helped my cause without hesitation, and with_ loyalty _I would only dream of my peers on the surface to achieve._

_Sadly loyalty and ferocious study are not all needed to gain results. Little of what I have learned about Lyrium can be collaborated to gain true insight about the Taint. I still believe that with the right question the knowledge I have gained might be one piece to solve the riddle, but it seems the question_ it self has _yet to appear. There are whispers in the Memories of things the Shaperate do not speak. Tales of Elven mines, probably from Arlathan, and of Guardians that I can not quite get my head around. I am going to seek out the elves, no matter how dangerous of a venture that might be._

_I need answers. I am not a man fond of unsolvable riddles. I must find a way._   
_For the Wardens._

Surana groaned as he read the last line. He had a deep understanding of the frustration Francturios must have felt. Always the riddles, always just more questions and no real answers. Still, this seemed to fall in line with his own research so the trip to Tevinter probably wouldn't be a total waste of time. A slight cough made him turn his head and he noted Neva resting against a bookshelf beside him, she had slid down into a sitting position and looked like she had just woken up so he assumed she had been there a while.  
“Didn't want to disturb you,” she mumbled as she rose and stretched out her back “That healer woman told me to fetch you. Apparently her brother is having some kind of fit and wants to talk to you,”  
Surana stood up at once and glared at Neva with an annoyed and frustrated look.  
“Why didn't you say anything?”  
“You looked like you were doing something important, and the man is just having a tantrum. Dreamers do that. We have had them in our Clan sometimes. They don't really get the real world, so what they say is important rarely is,”  
“Fool,” he muttered as he hurried past her “Shows what you and the Dalish know of magic!”


	25. Chapter 25

The Athenaum was in chaos as Surana arrived, apprentices running around like frightened chickens that recently lost their heads. He pushed them out of the way half running through the marble hallways following the desperate howls of Veila. Her screams led him to Paulus quarters, where he nearly collided with a trembling Adriana rushing out with a bowl of blood stained water and vomit covered rags.

"Save us, save him," the apprentice whispered as she pushed passed Surana and Neva running down the corridor for more supplies.

The sight that met the two elves as they entered made Faerons heart drop. Henselt and Dan were holding Paulus to the bed, bruised and bloodied while Jana and Ohgren were holding Veila pinned to the floor. Her porcelainface was swollen from tears and the oppositionshe had posed to the Wardens holding her back. Faeron could feel the Veil tremble in the room due to the sheer amount of power that was being canalised between the sibling mages.

"Where is Frank?" he demanded as he took long strides towards Veila and his wardens.

Ohgren gritted his teeth and muttered

"The boy took out Frank and Kolt before we could restrain him,"

Suranas head snapped towards Neva who was still standing at the door staring at the chaos.

"I… it…" she whispered

"This is not a serious situation!?" Surana barked and tears welled up in the Dalish eyes

"He… how?"

"I sent for you hours before Frank died," Ohgren muttered, "What took you two so long?"

"She failed to see the urgency in her mission," Surana growled "Veila, do you hear me?"

"Let me go. Let me go! I need to help him. They are hurting him," the Magistrate did not tare her eyes of her brothers struggling body and her voice was no more than a trembling whisper.

"Hold her," Surana told Ohgren and Jana before he headed to the bed to asses the situation.

"He just went mad, sir," Henselt explained as he reached them "He started screaming, blood just gushing out of his nose and eyes, then... I think he was or is, possessed, sir,"

"I'll make that diagnosis," Surana replied and leaned in over Paulus.

His once pale blue eyes were white, every vain in his skin visible and his breathing was irregular and shallow. Surana sighed as he straddled the young man softly placing his hands on Paulus temples and closed his own eyes to focus.

There was a sharp gasp from the Dreamer and but a second of warning before his mind lashed on to Surana and forced itself upon his senses.

It was that searing pain throbbing through his head, like a migraine shooting through him and then lifting as his mind settled.

"I apologize," the spirit said as Surana opened his eyes and stared at his old friend Vigilance "I had to make contact you. I did not think it would take so long nor ware so upon the Walker,"

"You know better than to possess those of the flesh," Surana groaned rubbing his temples "What have happened?"

"It is Keiran," the Spirits voice was concerned and Suranas mind snapped into full attention "The one you know as Flemeth has made contact with him and taken him from the realm where Morrigan is,"

"What!?" Suranas fear and rage flared up like lightning and fire in the fade and Vigilance took a few steps back allowing the mage to gather himself.

"She has followed, I could not. They are deep in the Fade, places long forgotten and feared by most. I thought it would be the proper thing to do to tell you, since you are very dedicated to their safety,"

"They are in the Fade!? How!? How could Flemeth..!? I killed her!"

"It seems that you did not," the Spirit sighed "He is waking up, and the Wolf is drawing near. What plans the one you know as Flemeth has with your son I do not know. I was simply watching, staying vigilant in your absence,"

"Thank you," Surana mumbled fighting to keep his mind calm and to not panic.

"I will release the Walker now, please apologize to him for my intrusion. I simply had to relay these news. I will try to find them, and to keep you inform. I think it would be wise of you to try and come to their aid,"

"Yes. Of course," Surana muttered and waved away the Spirit.

He awoke on the floor, nose bleeding and with a terrible cough. Veila was bent over Paulus who was thrashing in the bed and Jana and Neva carefully helped their Commander to a chair.

"What happened?" the young Dalish asked and Surana gurgled some water and spit up the blood that was irritating his throat.

"I need to go," he muttered and could feel Veilas eyes burn as she turned from her brother to him.

"You…! It wanted you! You will not leave! Not without an explanation! You can not barge into my home, our lives, have my brother attacked and nearly killed and just walk out! I will not allow it!"

"Your brother killed two of our Wardens!" Jana barked back at the Magistrate "Who are you to make demands at us! The commander obviously did something that broke the demons hold of your brother!"

"Spirit" Surana coughed "Spirit. Not demon,"

"Is there a difference?"

"What does it matter!?" Veila howled her blue eyes flashing with lightning and anger "Get out! Get out the lot of you!"

She switched to Teveneand burrowed her eyes into Surana

"Not you! You will stay! How dare you endanger my brother!? After all we have done for you, for the Wardens!? I should tare the skin of your dying bones and feed your pathetic minionsto the Fade! Give me answers, NOW, or you will not leave this city alive!"

Surana groaned and glared at his Wardens who were about to unsheathe their weapons.

"Leave," he told them and turned his gaze to his enraged friend "Veila, get a grip of yourself and lay off the dramatics. I meant him no harm, and the Spirit in question was very remorseful for any harm it did to Paulus,"

"Don't you dare take that condescending tone with me!" she screamed smashing a vase on the wall near his head "Paulus nearly died!"

"But he didn't. And I really do not have time for these dramatics. I am sorry he got hurt. I need to leave,"

"Why!?"

"A friend came with a warning. Keiran is in danger. I need to go to him. To Morrigan,"

She stopped raging. Or at least throwing things. He could feel her burning rage and the fear of almost losing her brother still pounding in her chest, but she actedcalm.

"You will not survive the trip, Faeron," she said "You are too weak,"

He scoffed and rose from the chair, feeling frailer than he wanted to admit wipingblood from under his nose. He looked down at the unconsciousbut breathing Paulus and the blood stains on the floor beneath that probably was all that was left of Frank and Kolt.

"This is not up for debate," he replied "I am deeply sorry Veila, for any trouble I have caused you and your family. I am sorry he got hurt,"

"You are no use for Morrigan nor Keiran dead," she answered and he shrugged

"I'll make it. I always do. One way or another,"

"You can not beat Death,"

"People keep saying that. So far I've proved them all wrong. The book is what we need. I will send the others to fetch my research for you. I know I have no right to ask for more from you, but Veila; You are my only hope now. Avernus is dead. Nowhere but in Tevinter will my research be safe. The Wardens have betrayed me,"

He saw that she was hesitant. She was still angry, and afraid. He knew Tevinter too could be dangerous. Especially for a woman in her position.

"I..." she glanced down at her brother.

"I beg of you," he whispered, the words sticking to his throat as if they were coated with burrs "I have no one else left to trust,"

"Send me your research," she muttered with a deep sigh "I will make no promises of success. I will need to tend to Paulus and theAthenaum. They are my primal responsibilities, as you know,"

"Of course," he replied "I… will keep my distance until things have settled,"

"Good," her voice had a distinct tone of steel that told him it would take time for these wounds to heal "There are potions in the sun-room. Take them and leave, Faeron. I would hate for your friend to return..."

"Of course," he mumbled and left her to tend to her brother.

His Wardens stood outside waiting for him and he glared at them as he walked passed towards the sun-room.

"Ohgren, you will take the others back to Vigils Keep. Zevran will come and you will make sure he gets all my research with him. I need to go on alone,"

"Nuggs arse that you are," Ohgren argued but Surana ignored the ale-stinking dwarf.

He shuffled the potions into his bag and potions belt and did a quick rummage through his backpack to make sure he had at least a few days food and lyrium potions with him.

"Are you leaving now?" Jana asked staring at the commander "What about Frank and Kolt,"

"Oh damn..." Surana muttered "Frank… Okay, change of orders. Ohgren, take these recruits to Weisshaupt. Tell them Frank died fighting a demon, nothing more. I'll send a bird to Nathaniel to gather up my research,"

"Will you tell me what is going on?" the dwarf grumbled and Surana shook his head

"No, I do expect you to follow orders though. And..." he sighed "No nothing. Just do as I say. Leave at once. I will send news when I have any,"

"Blighted fuck" Ohgren muttered but he could see that there was no arguing with Surana at this point "Take care of yourself, Warden. And come back for us. I'm not freezing my nuts off in Weisshaupt for you to end up dead,"

"I'll be fine," Surana grumbled back slapping the dwarf on his shoulder "Didn't I tell you to leave already?"

"Fine, fine. Recruits, you heard the Commanders orders! We are leaving. Gather your stuff and get going! We are going to see the First Warden!"

Neva lingered, Surana glared at the elf as she did her best to not leave the room with the others.

"I am so sorry," she whispered and he scoffed and shot her a scornful glare

"At least you'll not that mistake again," he replied and she sighed and left to catch up with her comrades.

He was not leaving the same way as the others. There was no time. Instead he took his meagre luggage and headed to the roof and transformed into a raven, setting his sights on the Eluvian in Vol Dorma. As a raven he could reach the mirror within a day or two, not being held back by the others. There was no time to loose. He had to reach Keiran, wherever he was.


	26. Chapter 26

It took every ounce of power he had within him to reach Vol Dorma, but with aching shoulders and staggering steps he dragged himself through the Eluvian and took a deep breath as he reached the other side. Morrigan had said she would bring the Mirror with her when they moved. He just needed to find the mirror in the crossroads and walk through, demanding to know where she was.

As fast as he could manage he made his way towards the right mirrors, passing through the labyrinth of broken history knowing it by the back of his hand.

Fear for his family was the one power that kept him moving, ignoring his wheezing breaths and the distinct taste of blood in his mouth. His ring was growing freezing cold with fear. She was in did not have time for weakness. He did not have time for the song screaming in his head. He had to find Kieran. He had to find them, he had to protect them.

_"Isn't he beautiful?" she asked with a voice trembling with love._

_"He is," he replied, unfamiliar with the warm feeling clenching in his chest "But then again, he has Urthemiel within him. She was a beauty, once,"_

_"This..." Morrigan hesitated watching the boy playing in the grass a few feet away from them "Be gentle. I do not wish to scare him,"_

_"I would never," Surana breathed unable to tare his eyes from his son "What is his name?"_

_"Kieran," she replied and he felt a lump form in his throat._

_"You remembered,"_

_"Always, my love," she mumbled squeezing his hand for a moment before she went to their son calling his name._

_"Kieran?"_

_"Mother!" the boy ran up from his play to hug his mother._

_Surana stood where she had left him, dread seizing his soul for a moment. He thought about walking away. Leaving them with their happiness, but then he saw the boy staring in his direction and heard Morrigan say;_

_"I have someone with me that I want you to meet,"_

_"Father?" the boy asked eyes growing big as saucers._

_Surana took a few awkward steps in their direction, unfamiliar with what was the right way to greet his son. Kieran, however, cared little for decorum. He ran up to Surana and threw himself around his father's neck, hugging him tightly._

_"You are shorter than I thought," the boy blathered while Surana just hugged him "Your ears are much bigger than mine and Mothers,"_

_He couldn't explain it. He felt his very being tremble in the arms of this little boy. Everything that had been important became trivial, all that mattered was that this wonderful being was safe and happy. A love he had not felt for ages burst through the thick walls of his heart and he felt himself tearing up out of sheer joy of being allowed to hold Kieran._

_Morrigan watched them quietly from a distance, as he met her gaze he knew she understood. She felt the same._

_"Father, why are you crying? Are you sad?"_

_"No, no..." he mumbled his throat horse with emotions "Quite the opposite. I have never been this happy. I am so happy to meet you, Kieran,"_

Shaking his head to get rid of the memories Surana stepped out in the Crossroads and marched up to the mirror he knew as Morrigans. It was black.

He felt his face twitch, his lungs contract and a scream of despair roll through his body and up filling he air around him. How was this possible? The mirror went two ways, to the Crossroads and out. How could it be black?

He started examining it, fearing it might have been broken but found no cracks nor other damage. It looked as if it had been rerouted. But how? No one knew how to reroute an Eluvian. If it had ever been possible it was a knowledge long lost!

He slammed his fist into the ground in frustration as he sunk to the ground staring at the black mirror. It would take him weeks to reach Skyhold without the Eluvians. How would he be able to reach them in time now?

_Kieran._

He would not give into despair. He refused. He had to get up. Get to them. No matter the cost. It felt like a million shackles weighed him down as he got up and walked away from the Eluvian, but he knew that he had to reach them. There were other mirrors, leading out in Fereldan. He could reach Skyhold and make someone tell him where to find his partner and his son. He couldn't give up. He would tare up the skies to find them.

 

He stepped out in the old Tevinter ruin he had found soon after he left on his quest, not even giving himself time to stop and muse over that the Tevinters seemed to not have even returned to their camp in the months.

The ring was oscillated between hot rage and freezing fear now. He could only imagine what was happening to bring Morrigan to such extreme emotional states. He chewed up some jerky as he walked through the forest and chugged one of Veilas potions to keep his strength up. As soon as it was one with he changed into the raven once more, he could cover so much more ground in the air than on the ground.

He flew for as long as his body would allow it, landing rather roughly long past dark had fallen and huddled up under a huge pine tree to get some sleep. Maybe he could contact them in the Fade. Time and space were mostly irrelevant there.

The forest felt even darker in the Fade. Something was terribly wrong with it. Something was wrong with the Fade. He shielded his mind as well as he could and realized the feeling was that of… a draft? The veil seemed ripped or withering. He clenched his jaw, knowing this was not something that could wait, but also knowing that every minute he tallied was a minute less he could have to save his family.

Only the Breach could be a magic so powerful it would sunder reality like this. He muttered a curse as he started walking through the Fade investigating the area and its rips. It was horrible. Spirits were thrown through whether they liked it or not, warped by the trauma into demons. He could do nothing to help them.

So he started killing them before they came through. Some gave up their lives willingly, knowing what would come if they were pulled through. Others put up a struggle, but he had no real trouble with them. They were mainly wisps at this point.

Pre-occupied with his mercy slaughter of spirits he didn't sense her before she was close. It was her chuckle that announced her presence and he snapped around glaring at her, but lowering his staff. He knew that he was too weak to fight her.

"Flemeth," he growled through gritted teeth

"Faeron," the old woman replied watching him with a strange sentimental look "I have not come for revenge,"

"Good," he muttered, "Why are you here?"

"Morrigan needs you, they will both need you soon,"

"I am on my way," he replied with immense frustration.

Flemeth sighed, watching him with eyes growing softer and warmer by the second and finally gave him a small nod mumbling;

"What would have become of us if we found love so unwavering as the Wardens? Fate or chance… I can never tell,"

"I do not have time for riddles. Did you want something?"

"A new age is dawning, Surana, I doubt you will get to see it but… My daughter and my grandson will be very crucial for what is to come. Do not let the Dread Wolf snare them. I..."

She hesitated, watching him and then she chuckled and sighed.

"Neither of us will. I will help you reach them. And… I want you to know I never meant to force the change on her unwillingly,"

"Bullshit," he replied "You would need her body eventually and Morrigan would never give it up,"

"Not even to save Keiran?"

He felt his heart grow cold and without even noticing his staff grip changed and he pulled on the energy behind him to boost his magic.

"What have you done, crone!?"

"Nothing. Nothing," she sighed "Keiran is safe. For now. Morrigan… is not, but that is her choice, not my doing. You should rest, Warden. There is a fight coming. A fight far more dangerous than you have ever fought. But for now, allow me to be the grandmother and mother she always wished I would have been, and get you to your family,"

He gave her a nod and muttered;

"I'll go back to my body then,"

"That would be appropriate," she mused

As he woke up he was back at the hut. The hut that he had woken up in after Ostagar. The hut where he had searched for Morrigan but only found a Dalish after the battle of Amaranthine. He groaned as he sat up in the bed and glared at Flemeth that was standing over him, watching carefully.

"It eats away at your soul," she noted and he just gruffed for an answer "Death will not wait much longer, Fearon,"

"Death will wait until I'm god damn ready," he snarled back rummaging through his backpack after some of his potions "I will be in command of my life, not this blasted taint or anyone else,"

"You remind me of a son I once had," she mumbled

"Thought you only had daughters," he replied chugging the potion.

"No… and he too tried to kill me for love," she noted and Surana rolled his eyes

"I won't say I'm sorry when I'm not. I would die killing you if it was what it took to keep them safe. I'd end the world if that kept them safe. Thankfully for the world they need it to live in,"

Flemeth nodded and reached out, touching his face with that strange melancholic glance in her eyes.

"I know you would," she replied "I wish you luck in getting rid of the taint. If you do then you might even grow powerful enough to do all that needs to be done with her. I hope so. Losing you would break her heart,"

"She is not losing me," he muttered as he stepped back and put on his backpack as he walked out of the hut "Let's get going. I need to get to her,"

The pain shot through his hand and up through his arm with such force it drove him to his knees clutching his hand and yelping in pain. His mind grew blank with feart he next second, he couldn't sense her. She was gone. The ring was dead.

He was sure Flemeth was talking to him, but he couldn't hear a word. He could feel a downpour drench his hair, his armour and far off in the distance thunder. But all he could focus on was the dead piece of metal around his finger.

_Morrigan_

Like the gasp of a nearly drowned man coming back up to the surface, the ring jolted and he could breathe once more. She was alive.

The rain stopped.

He turned to Flemeth who was standing there, staring at him.

"Get me to her, now," he commanded and she gave him a disapproving glare but nodded.

"Manners. I do not know where the boy got it from," she muttered as she turned into a dragon and picked him up.

Surana did not care for manners, all he cared about was getting to Morrigan. She was hurt. Badly hurt. He didn't even notice that the Breach seemed to be healed.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morrigan, finally, enters the picture <3 <3

Flemeth dropped him off on a mountainside far up in the Frostback mountains and it was with disbelief that he first laid eyes upon Skyhold.

As his mother-in-law once more became human he glared her way.

"How can this keep have been forgotten? Its position is a strategic jewel for both Fereldan and Orlais,"

"Some places stay forgotten until they choose to be found," Flemeth replied and step up beside him "This is a place of old magic. A place once holy for the ancient elves, and more than once the breakwater of history,"

"That is rather orderly for being history," he muttered and saw how a small smile spread over her lips.

"Still as sharp as ever, Warden," she sighed "I need to leave, as do you, we both have people waiting for us,"

He nodded and took a few steps forward, preparing to once more turn into a raven.

"Warden," her voice sounded haunted for a moment and he turned and just for a second Flemeth looked filled with grief and fear "Take care of my daughter, and my grandson. Tell her that… All the answers are within reach. All she has to do is listen,"

He gave the old witch a nod to show that he had heard her words and with a surge of magic formed into the raven catching the freezing winds of the Frostbacks under his wings.

He circled the keep a few times before finding the room that was Morrigans, and he assumed also Keirans. As he swept in and took an elegant step into the shadows the roomwas empty, but he knew he was in the right room because every smell and every detail of it spoke of home to him. There was her scent, that perfume he had brought her from his first trip to Montsimmard and Keirans collection of stuffed animals neatly tucked into an open chest.

It was a silly melodramatic notion that made him stay in the shadowswaiting for her, and maybe a tad of paranoia. He still worried what Leliana would do to him if they met. He was still worried about how she even was alive. He did not have to wait long soon his yellow-eyed companion entered, helped by Leliana of all people.

"I must insist on you stopping this obsessive coddling," she muttered as he helped her into a chair

"Nonsense," the Spymaster replied, "I have sent for our healer, just try and stay still and relax?"

"I am no child that needs nursemaids to tend to my every whim or displeasure, Leliana," Morrigan growled swatting him away "I can heal myself. The only thing that I will ask is that you ask that dwarf Varric or someone else who is good at stories to keep Keiran occupied for a while. I do not wish him to see me like this,"

"Of course, we would not want the boy to see his mother hurt would we?"

"No, we wouldn't" there was steel in Morrigans voice and Leliana shrugged.

Lelianaseemed grimmer than Surana remembered her as if she had finally opened her eyes to the real world rather to that rose-shimmering fantasy she had held so dear last he knew her.

"I will leave you to tend to your wounds then," Leliana said backing out of the room "And Morrigan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for helping,"

"My son and I live in this world as well," Morrigan replied "And there was no one else that could offer the assistance needed, so, of course, I offer my talents to save us all. I am not some monster, Leliana,"

"Of that I am glad," Leliana replied as she exited and closed the door.

Morrigan groaned and lifted a bloody hand from her side and scowled towards where he stood.

"If you don't come forward soon I will force you," she said "I will not tend to that ridiculousmelodrama you love so much,"

"I was just being careful, love, you are the one with a love for melodrama," he said stepping out of the shadows "Leliana might have been civil with you, but I doubt she would stay her hand for me. No matter the amount of Archdemons I slay,"

She didn't reply, just scowled at him and he took two quick steps to her side and his face turned from his normal stoic expression to worried annoyance.

"Let me heal that,"

"Nonsense," she muttered "You are as apt as a healer as ogersare dancers. You should not have come. Or have you ended the Calling and eradicated the Taint from the Wardens so fast?"

He didn't reply, he just grumbled and avoided her piercing glare.

"I thought not," she muttered "Why did you come? Keiran will be..."

"Do not scold me. You made me come here," he interrupted "I felt your terror. I felt your pain and despair. How could I stay away? I hadto make sure you and Keiran were safe,"

Her expression softened and he felt her hand find its way into his hair and softly work its way down his scalp. She looked sad, confused and as if the whole world lay upon her shoulders.

"Talk to me," he whispered "We made a promise, Morrigan, not to keep secrets. I am here, give me a way to ease your worries,"

Her smile was soft through the pain she was in as she stroked his ear and sighed.

"You are not the only one bound by forces we barely can grasp anymore,"

His heart grew cold as confused frowned;

"What are you talking about? What have you done?"

"Do you remember the temple in the Arbor wilds? The one far too dangerous for us to search out?"

"Yes,"

"Do you know what happened there recently?"

He rolled his eyes and growled;

"I have been preoccupied, please do not drag this out with questions you know the answer to,"

She scoffed at his impatience and continued;

"When the Inquisitor dismantled Corypheus plans to use the Wardens as his tools to conquer the world and stopped him from assassinating Celine at the Grand Ball the creature raced to the Arbor wilds. To that temple. His goal was the Eluvian there, and the Well of Sorrows. We beat him to it and once more stopped his plans to enter the Fade and become a living God, but at the temple… I drank from the Well of Sorrows,"

"Why?" the scepticism in his voice was unmasked.

It seemed a foolish thing to drink from anything named the Well of Sorrows before studying it thoroughly.

"Because I was the most qualified to do so," she replied in a short tone "It was the key to the Eluvian, and contained the knowledge of all Mythals former servants. Do you think our dear Inquisitor was a better choice for such knowledge? A templar who never even given the powers of old a thought?"

Suranas eyes had grown big as she told him what the well contained.

"It was the Temple of Mythal?"

"Yes," Morrigan mumbled and with a sigh added "And now I am bound to the will of Mythal, which also turned out to be my mother,"

"Wait, wait, wait! Flemeth is Mythal?"

"Yes," Morrigans sigh was resigned and her hand once more playing with his hair for comfort.

Faerons mouth went dry and he felt a brief moment of panic.

"She brought me here," he whispered "She… found me in the Fade and brought me here. Just before you..."

He stopped and his eyes fixated on Morrigans injuries. For a moment, he was overwhelmed with the enormity of the schemes they seemed involved in but then he shook his head and sighed.

"Before you almost died. But that was recently… I felt your fear weeks ago,"

She nodded and turned her gaze out the window.

"As we returned from the wilds Keiran ran away. He activated the Eluvian and ran through. Of course, I panicked. The Inquisitor joined me in my search and… he re-directed it, Faeron, Keiran re-directed the Eluvian straight into the Fade,"

"That is impossible,"

"So we thought," her smile was filled with a mothers worry "We found him in the company of Mother. She wanted that Old Gods soul all along. I do not doubt that was her plan for sending me with you all those years ago. She had called him to her, and… She took the Old Gods soul. It does not seem to have hurt Keiran, and he gave it up freely, but I do now know how it will affect him in the future,"

Faeron sat at her feet trembling and trying to fathom what had happened since they last saw each other.

"She told me a new age is dawning," he mumbled "That you and Keiran will play important parts in what is to come,"

"That can surely be the case," Morrigan mumbled but then she stopped and frowned down at her partner "Just Keiran and me?"

Faeron replied with a frown and an eye roll,

"She, like anybody else, felt it necessary to point out that Death is at my heals just waiting to make my acquaintance.

"You are looking worse," she mumbled making him scoff

"Say the woman who nearly died not too long ago,"

"The Inquisitor needed me to kill Corypheus pet dragon. The power from the Well allowed me to do that. To transform into an equally strong dragon and win him the day,"

"He could not do that without you being hurt?" the Warden growled but softened as he felt her hand wander through his hair once more.

"No," she simply said "And I am safe now. Do not fuss over me, you have important things to do,"

"Nothing is more important than you and Keiran. Will you be safe?"

"We are as safe as we can be," Morrigan promised and tried to rise from the chair but fell back wincing in pain followed by an angry "Do not fuss!"

The Warden glared at his lover and the mother of his child as he rose and went to his backpack pulling out a healing potion and pouring it into a crystal glass for her.

"Drink,"

"I am..."

"Drink"

She drank but not before she had shaken her head at him and muttered something about him needing it more. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. It did not really matter because he knew that without her he would falter no matter what.

"You have changed the the better it seems," she noted as the effects of the potions started mending her body.

"Necessityis the greatest inventor," he muttered and stroked her raven black locks with a sigh "I am not getting better,"

"I know. I have eyes," she replied with a worried frown "Your skin is getting spotty… How… bad is the Calling?"

"Like a Chantry choir has taken up residence in my head," he muttered kicking the foot of the chair lightly "I'm so close… I was so close…"

"What happened?"

"Vigil came to warn me about the danger you and Keiran were in. He possessed Paulus. Veila is… angry with me,"

"I am still needed here,"

"I did not ask you to go and clean up my mess," he snarled "I'm just informing you of the situation,"

"You are such a child," she replied eyes growing dark "And the Wardens of Fereldan? Zevran told me you had a whole entourage with you,"

"Sent them with Ohgren to Weisshaupt,"

"Why?"

"To buy me some time. The First Warden won't stop bothering me,"

"I… I will not argue with you. I do not have the energy to spend on your petty vendettas. Will you stay? Keiran will be here shortly and if you are not to stay I think it would be kinder to his heart not to see you,"

Surana hesitated, feeling her hand finding his. He wanted to stay. He wanted to never leave her side again. It felt risky, though, with most of his enemies gathered within the Inquisition.

"Is it safe?" he asked and saw the uncertainty in her eyes "Leliana seemed to have warmed up to you,"

"She has grown up. I did not expect her to see past my relationship with you, but she has," Morrigan noted "I had nothing to do with the tainting of Andrastes ashes. She also is fond of Keiran, and seem to think motherhood suits me,"

"It does,"

"I… do not know what she will do to you, though. I doubt it was her idea to try and recruit you to the Inquisition,"

"It seems it is best I go then… Madamede Fer and I have a quite volatile history from our Circle days and then there is Cullen and a templar Inquisitor..."

He fell silent as if mentioning all the enemies nearby drained him of that last sip of energy to talk. He felt silly and dumb. Here they were, she injured from the fight off a dragon and all he could think of was how badly he needed her to tell him that he could stay. That everything was going to turn out all right. He couldn't look at her, he did not felt that he was deserving to look at her. How had he become so weak? So lost.

He pulled back as her fingers softly rubbing his temples sent warm chills down his spine and started walking towards the window.

"Don't go," her voice was desperate, more desperate than she had hoped it would be judging by her embarrassed and annoyed look as he looked back at her "I mean… I would think we can work out those issues, there is no need for you to go quite yet. If you do not know what to do next or have a clear plan of action against the Blight then… maybe you could do with some rest?"

His eyes fell to the floor again and he sighed pulling his hand through his hair trying to think.

"If I put you or Kieran in danger I can not stay," he sighed after what felt like an eternity of silence.

"They would not dare," she replied getting up out of her chair and with a wince walking up to him "I will talk to the Inquisitor. Curing the Blight should be of interest for him as well, seeing how he conscripted the surviving Wardens into his ranks. I am sure he will see reason. He is not quite as zealous as other Templars, after all, I am doing quite well here,"

Surana nodded and softly embraced her into a hug, trying not to put pressure on her wound. She, on the other hand, seemed to care little about the pain and pulled him closer and burrowed her head against his neck.

"I should go and see Kieran," he mumbled and she nodded

"I will go for him, there is no need for you to be wandering around the castle right now. We better prepare them for your arrival first. It lessens the risk of anyone ramming you through with a sword,"

Her comment made him smile a bit. Yes. That was true. If not mistaken for a spy Leliana would surely use that as an excuse to return the favour and behead him. Softly he nudged his nose against her and stole yet another kiss.

"Fine, I will wait here. Are you sure you can do it? I do not want you to worsen that wound,"

"I am no frail flower you need to worry about," she scoffed "I drank your potion, did I not? I am quite capable of walking a few doors down and get our son,"

"Just making sure,"

He slid down in a chair by her fireplace and watched her walk out of the room. It was warm and felt safe in here. He felt so drained. Maybe he could close his eyes just for a moment? He would hear the door open when they came back. Just a bit of rest now when he finally was with his family again.


	28. Chapter 28

He could sense something being wrong as soon as he heard the door creak open. Two seconds later he felt a cold blade on his throat and looked into the cold blue eyes of Leliana. She seemed to be on the verge of growling at him.

"It would be so easy," she said through gritted teeth "To slit your throat here and now, Warden,"

"Warden-Commander," he sighed refusing to give her any satisfaction by showing fear "It matters not how easy the task maybe, Spy-master, if one won't do it,"

She spat in his face but took a step back glaring at him with a blizzard of rage in her eyes. He wiped his face with a sardonic smile.

"It is unexpected to see you here," she growled

"Not as unexpected as to see you, after all; I have never died," he rebutted and saw her jaw clench

"You..." her dagger was once more unsheathed

"You have to give me your secret later," he grinned feeding off seeing how he still pushed her buttons "Or will you kill me now? Slit my throat to have my son find my bloody corpse in his mother's bedroom?"

"No" she abruptly said "I am no monster. I am not you. Though freeing Morrigan and Keiran from your bondage surely would make the world a better place,"

"Bondage?" Morrigan scoffed as she entered the door "And what makes you think I would ever let anyone around me and my son that I do not want?"

"Father!" Kieran shrieked with happiness and no matter how much Surana wished to remain a cold monster in the eyes of Leliana it became impossible as the boy darted towards him.

He quickly went down on his knees, a smile beaming like a winter sun on his face and pulled his son into a tight hug.

"Kieran," he breathed as if the name itself were his salvation.

"Oh, Father! I have missed you!" the boy blathered clinging to him like a little monkey.

Morrigan's laughter was soft and warm as she approached, placing herself between the spy-masterand her family.

"I have missed you too," Surana whispered kissing his son's forehead softly unable to do anything but shower his son with affection.

"The Wolf-Elf left Father. And Mother became a dragon! Varric told me all about it! She saved the Inquisitor, Father! I like the Inquisitor, he is not as scary as Mother said,"

"You will have to tell me all about this later," Faeron softly said stroking his son's dark hair and noticing that Kieran did not resonate as strongly as before "I heard your Grandmother was by"

"Yes. I gave her the voices, it is a bit lonely now, but Cole is keeping me company when I miss it too much. It was safest like this," Kieran nodded "There is a raven in the tower that is really nice, Father. Did you bring Ser Pounce-A-Lot?"

"He is still in Amaranthine I am afraid,"

The boy looked a bit disappointed but the smile never wavered from his face and he clung to his father as Surana tried to rise up. The Warden was helpful for Morrigan's discreet support, as failing to lift his son would have been embarrassing in front of Leliana. The spymasterlooked shocked and in disbelief.

"Will you excuse us, Leliana?" Morrigan asked "My son has not seen is Father for more than a year,"

"Yes… Of course… The Inquisitor will want to hear about this,"

"Give him my congratulations of defeating Corypheus," Surana said as she left and he caught the glare she threw his way.

"Why is Leliana angry?" Kieran asked and Surana sighed

"She is angry with me. Last time we saw each other I was rather mean,"

Kieran pouted and play-slapped his father's shoulder.

"One should be nice and courteous," the boy reprimanded him and Surana grinned, nodded and held his son tightly as he fell back on the bed making his son shriek with joy.

"Your father I am afraid will never learn that lesson" Morrigan mused sitting down by them at the bed.

"Always the complaints," Surana replied with a smile and pulled his son into another hug "I am a product of the world,"

"Excuses" Morrigan smiled and rolled in under Kieran and snuggled an arm around her partner and son "I hope you do behave like a civilized personwhen you meet the Inquisitor?"

"I'm always civilized," he replied and groaned as Kieran tried to crawl into a position where he could hug both his parents "I can not make promises for the others, though. How are your studies going Kieran?"

"Good," the boy replied glancing towards his mother "The books are very boring, but I read,"

"That's my boy," Surana smiled, "What are you reading at the moment?"

"Fereldan; Folklore and History," the boy sighed "It's really not at all like you and Mother told me when we wandered the lands,"

"That's because it is a Chantry book, it is all about perspective," Surana explained and his son groaned but cuddled up comfortably between his parents to listen.

"The Chantry, is a religious organization, no? And as such they have proved more interested in keeping up their agenda and mythos than recording history as factual events. They seldom spread lies with the intention of spreading lies but ignorance and a lack of critical thinking run rampant both within the Chantry itself and it's institutions such as the Circles of Magi,"

Kieran frowned and nodded;

"So they think what they are writing is true?"

"Most definitely. Most of the events they talk about have happened, and it is a useful book to understand Fereldan and its culture because most of the Fereldan believes the events as described in the book as true. It is just told through a narrative warped by millenniums of politics, ideologyand theological corrections. All stories, of course, are in some extension warped by the storyteller, that is why one should always go as close to the source as possible when gathering information,"

"It's like gossiping," the boy smiled "If you want to know if it is really true it is better the person people talk about than the people talking,"

"Exactly," Surana felt kind of proud of his son understanding things so quickly "But if you want to believe what people think, it helps to hear the gossip as well. Just to know what others believe,"

"The book doesn't say a lot about elves," the boy noted poking his father's ear "But you were in it. We read about the Fifth Blight two weeks ago. Mother say the book is highly inaccurate,"

"It was ridiculous" Morrigan muttered "Made me sound like some woodland creature void of any humanity, enthralled with this mysterious dark Warden and seducing him to the dark arts,"

"Mother say that is not true, that she only taught you to change into animals,"

Faeron nodded and rolled over on his side.

"That is true. I had, after all, spent all my youth in the Circle, and most of the foundations of what I know come from there,"

"So why shouldn't they exist?"

"I am not opposing schools for mages, places to learn or study," the Warden sighed "I oppose forcing families apart, separating mages from society and leashing us like we were beasts as horrible as darkspawn,"

The boy sank into thought for a moment and Surana glanced over his son to Morrigan who was combing through their son's dark hair listening to them.

"I don't like when we are apart," Keiran mumbled pulling on his father's heartstrings "And I don't like people who are scared or angry. Cole says that people who are scared and angry are hurting and it's no good…"

"Hurt is sometimes the only option" Surana replied solemnly "And the world is a scary place, Kieran. The only thing one can do to beat fear is to control it. Know yourself, and your enemies, but mostly yourself,"

"People are scared of you," Kieran mumbled "And of Mother,"

"Because they don't know us," Morrigan interjected and the boy nodded.

It made sense to their son.

"I know you," he agreed "And I know you are not scary or evil,"

"Well..." Surana gave them both a crooked smile "I can be a bit scary,"

"Only to badpeople," Kieran insisted and Surana allowed his son to have illusions of him a bit longer.

They would surely come crashing down eventually. It was nice, though, having someone believing he was a through and through good man. A true hero. He knew himself better than that, though.

A knock on the door interrupted their reunion. Leliana stood outside and he heard her mutter to Morrigan as she opened that the Inquisitor wanted to meet the Warden as soon as possible. As the door closed his witch leaned her head against it and muttered some curse he was unable to catch.

"Do not fret," he muttered "I will be civil and try not to upset our templar Inquisitor or his pawns,"

"I told her we will see them tomorrow" Morrigan muttered and sneaked her arms around him "Tonight our son and I need to have you to ourselves,"

They spent hours talking and catching up. Surana spent most of that time laying in the bed with Kieran never more than a feet or two away trying to rest a bit while savoring every moment with the two most important persons in his life. Eventually, as the hours grew smaller Kieran started dozing off only to awake with a startle a few moments later. Surana scowled and pulled his son closer;

"Nightmares?"

"No," the boy mumbled, "I just..."

He fell silent and nuzzled in closer, making his father put his almost skeletal fingers under Kieran's chin and turn the boys head so he faced the dark scrutinising eyes of his father.

"No secrets, Kieran,"

"I am afraid," the boy admitted tugging on his father's shirt "If I fall asleep… will you be gone when I wake? I do not want you to leave, Father..."

Surana could see Morrigan choke up by the window and he felt a very similar lump form in his own throat but he forced a little chuckle and kissed his son's forehead.

"I will be here when you wake, Kieran," he promised "I will be staying for a while. The Inquisitor and I might work together soon, and even if I go away I promise I will not leave without saying goodbye,"

Kieran nodded and burrowed his face against his father's chest. Surana leaned back rubbing his sons back until the boy was fast asleep, watching Morrigan silently as they waited. She sighed as she spread a blanket over Kieran and rolled him of his father so he could sleep comfortably next to them.

"He misses you greatly," she whispered moving through the room to the chairs by the fire.

Surana followed with a sigh, bones and muscles aching as he relaxed them extensively for the first time in weeks.

"And I the both of you," he whispered in response as he slid down on the floor leaning against her leg.

"Why do you insist on sitting on the floor?" she frowned slipping her fingers into his hair undoing the braids she had done a few hours earlier "Your muscles will seize up much worse down there than in a chair,"

"I don't know," he muttered "It is just… more comfortable down here,"

"Suit yourself," she mumbled before letting out a yawn "Do you know how long you will stay?"

"No," he replied "I came fearing this would be my last night. If… if they had hurt you or Kieran… I will not let that happen,"

She scoffed and pulled his hair a little.

"Naturally you assume murder will be a proper way to avenge us? No matter the problems that would cause,"

"Consequences lose their appeal when you don't care anymore," he replied with a sigh "I am so tired,"

"I know, dear, I know," her voice was filled with concerned sympathy "How far gone are you?"

"It's hard to think," he admitted feeling that knot in his stomach grow tighter "I'm hungry. Always hungry. I think I've been running some degree of a fever for the last three months. I can handle the physical aspects, though… I am used to the abuse. I… But..."

"But what?"

Now it was his turn having his face turned to face the eyes of a concerned loved one he rather not tell the truth.

"I'm slipping," he admitted "They are growing closer. More intent. It is so hard to decipher what is the song and what is their whispers… I got lost in Kul-Baras. I have analyzed the matter over the last month or so...time is so difficult… I believe I came but a fraction from becoming an abomination. The rage, Morrigan… it burns… If I did not have you or Kieran… I do not believe I could withstand it much longer,"

Her eyes were like embers glowing in the dark peering down on him and her face torn between anger and fear.

"Do not dare to give in," she hissed, "I told you I did not approve of you going down to the Deep Roads like this,"

"I wouldn't if I had a choice," he growled back "If I was not betrayed by my own Order, if not every other person in this world was a god damn liar or a coward! If for once I was not fighting my battles alone,"

"We agreed for me to stay behind," she reminded him and he bit his tongue.

"I know. You are not the cause of my rage. Just about everybody else is. And my own fragility. I… what if there is no cure?"

"Do not be stupid," she protested "It is an infection of some sort, of course, there is a cure. You will find it, did you not say you and Avernus were close?"

"We… we were," he agreed "And I found Francturiosbook in Tevinter. It is promising… If I could just be allowed some peace and quiet to do my research..."

"The Breech is sealed, the Inquisition seems determined to bring order back to the lands. I am sure things will quiet down soon," she tried to comfort him.

Actually, she did a quite good job at it, and he relaxed back onto her legs feeling her fingers running through his hair.

"I miss the Crossroads," he mumbled allowing a sleepy drowsiness float over him with the heat from the fire and the rhythmic strokes of her fingers "When are we going home?"

"We are home," she replied placing a kiss on his forehead "As long as we are together, we are home,"

A rare smile spread across the Hero of Fereldans lips and he glanced up at her mumbling;

"Ar lath ma, Ir tel'him, emma lath,"

It made her smile, and blush a little and he felt content.

"Emma sa'lath," she whispered following the features of his face with her fingers "Hamin, sleep. You are safe and with family tonight. No evil shall trespass to within these walls, you are safe, we are all safe,"

Her words felt true and calmed his soul. She helped him up from the floor and they crawled into bed, nuzzling Kieran between them and a sleep caught the Warden-Commander within minutes. The first peaceful sleep in months.


	29. Chapter 29

He could hear them talking as soon as he reached the stairs into the throne room. The buzzing of crowds. Any and all of Skyhold had heard the rumour, the Warden-Commander of Fereldan was at Skyhold!

Faeron grunted as he shifted the grip of his staff and slid the sleeve of his shirt further down his arm. The Inquisitor had most likelyheard horrible things about him already, it seemed foolish to flaunt being a blood mage from the start. If the Inquisitor wasn't a moron he already knew since it was hardly a secret, but anyway. It seemed polite not to bring it up at the introduction.

Kieran had moaned and argued all morning about wanting to go with his father and see the Inquisitor but his parents had stood firm. Nothing could be gained by showcasing to all present who Kieran's father was. And the boy had reading to do anyway.

He tried to decipherif anybody he knew could be heard among the voices as he walked down the stairs, Morrigan had said that Alistair had sacrificed himself to save the Inquisitor at Adamant. Fool. Surana had not thought it would sting to lose Alistair, the man was more a burden than anything else and he was annoying and a fool. Still… He had been Suranas fool.

The elven Warden took a breath and entered the throne room, head held high and striding through the masses without granting them as much as a look as they gasped when he passed. His sight was locked at the Inquisitor, sitting on an awfully gaudy throne practically screaming of Chantry. The Inquisitor was a strong well-built man with dark hair and his eyes marbled brown and green. Eyes that sternly glared towards the Warden-Commander as he approached. Cassandra Pentergast stepped in between the two as Surana approached and with her usual bark said;

"You stand before the Inquisitor of Thedas, closer of the Breach, saviour of Orlais and Commander of Divine Justinias Inquisition,"

"Greetings, Seeker Pantergast andInquisitor," Surana muttered and felt her gaze burn upon his face.

"I present to the Inquisitor Warden-Commander Faeron Surana of Fereldan, Champion of the Blight and saviour of Fereldan. One among few I would call my peer in the knowledge of the Arcane," Morrigans voice rang out behind him.

He was glad he had years of training for surprises. Otherwise it would have been hard to keep a straight face over how annoyed all of the Inquisitors inner circle looked.

He gave Pentergast and the Inquisitor a small nod with his head. Pentergast looked as if she wanted to take said headright off. The Inquisitor gave him a nod back and rose.

"The Inquisition welcomes you, Warden-Commander Surana, to Skyhold. What brings the Wardens back here? I thought I sent them with The Champion of Kirkwallto Weisshaupt carrying an inquiry about the Wardens involvement with Corypheus to the First Warden?"

Surana shrugged and replied;

"The Wardens of Orlais is not under my Command, what ever orders you have given them is unfamiliar to me,"

"I do not remember it only being Orleisan Wardens at Adamant," the Inquisitor answered and Surana restrained himself from groaning.

"Clerels madness is her own, it is true most of my men left to join her command when she came to request my assistance but know that I told all it was madness from the start,"

"Maybe we should continue in the study?" an Antivan woman in ruffles asked.

Surana did not recognize her, maybe one of the Inquisitors advisers wasn't strictly Chantry? That would be nice.

The Inquisitor gave her a nod, and a glance speaking loads to Surana about the two's relationship before he led the way into a study. Surana and Morrigan followed quickly. Leliana was already in there, sitting on a desk sharpening her dagger as they entered and Surana groaned when his eyes fell upon Cullen right next to her.

"I believe you already know my Spymaster and the Commander of our forces?" the Inquisitor asked and Surana glared in their direction.

"I do" his frosty response was.

"Why are you here?" Cullen asked glaring at him "Couldn't bother to show up before we had slain the Archdemon, could you?"

Morrigan cleared her throat and muttered loudly enough for all to hear;

"Before I hadslain the Archdemon,"

"I was preoccupied," Surana replied "Warden business,"

"Warden business lately seem to involve trying to bring forth demon armies to conquer Orleis," Cullen snarled and Surana rolled his eyes.

"Am I on trial for what I advisedClarelnot to do? I told her it was madness, she refused to listen. And I am to understand that it was one of my Wardens that made sure that your Inquisitor made it out of the fade and survived Adamant?"

"Do not dare to take the honourfor Alistair's actions," Leliana spat "You are nothing compared to him! You have no right to claim his honours! You are a monster! He was a real hero!"

"Is this what will come of this day?" Morrigan asked in that awful cool voice of hers "Will I have to waste my time listening to you squabble and fight over who dislikes the Warden the most? I thought our goal was to make sure order returned to Thedas?"

"That's not going to happen as long as he is alive," Cullen growled "He is a menace.A blood mage and surely an abomination by now. A murderer."

"Cullen please," Surana groaned "We are all murderers here. I am a murderer, you are a murderer, the Inquisitor is a murderer, Leliana most definitely is a murderer, hell I bet even the Ambassador has sunken a blade in someone some time. Though she seems a very respectable and sensible lady compared to the two of you,"

"Faeron..." Morrigan's voice was low on the edge of a growl,"

"You killed a boy's mother and made a deal with the demon inside of him!" Leliana barked "I know you did!"

"I did no such thing!" Faeron barked back "I killed her, sure, it was her mess was it not? But I stroke no deal with a demon. I knew blood magic long before I left the Circle,"

"You..." Cullens eyes grew big "You taught Jowen?"

"Of course I didn't" Surana scoffed "How that idiot learned is beyond me, but he asked me for no help. Things might have gone a bit smoother if he had, though..."

"This is not the place to argue about rights and wrongs of the past," Morrigan groaned "The Inquisitor wanted to see the Warden-Commander and we obliged. Was there anything more or can we be allowed to return to our studies?"

"What is this study?" the Inquisitor asked Morrigan in a curious tone.

He seemed to trust her.

Strange, Surana thought, for a Templar.

"Ancient elvhen," she replied "Surana is more in tune with the flows of Elven magic of old than me. It seems that as an example he sees more within the Crossroads then my human eyes can do, and he is a great scholar. We have been studying the powers of old for some years now,"

"I also have my own business to attend," Surana muttered "Since the Inquisitor sacrificed the one Warden I could have used right about now I will have to find another way,"

"I know," Morrigan mumbled "We might find some answers here, the Inquisitor has been kind enough to provide excellent research facilities,"

"I do however require to know what is being researched and how it is being conducted," the Inquisitor interjected eyeing Surana with a judging glare "I do not allow blood magic,"

"I do not read with my veins, Inquisitor," Surana replied in a wry tone "And I assure you, I am not here to cause trouble. If trouble arises it is because I have been forced to protect myself from the bloodhounds in your leash,"

He nodded towards Cullen, Leliana, and Cassandra.

"Why are you here?" The Inquisitor asked crossing his arms across his chest.

"To help Morrigan," Surana replied with a shrug "Had I known she was to fight an archdemon I would have tried my hardest to arrive earlier,"

"Awfully kind of you," Cassandra snarled and he glared.

"Enough," the Inquisitor sighed "You may stay, Warden-Commander, and Lady Morrigan I assume you will make sure our guest behaves himself in a manner appropriate for a guest of the Inquisition?"

"Of course," she replied glancing at Surana "He takes a bit getting used to,"

"I can imagine… and I apologize for the loss of Warden Alistair, Warden-Commander, he gave his life to right the wrongs of the Wardens at Adamant,"

"I imagine he did..." Surana muttered already turning towards the door "The library is across the hall and up the stairs?"

"I did not say I was finished," the Inquisitorsounded irritated and a bit insulted.

Surana wanted to throw his hands in the air but restrained. By the Gods how he hated to be held up by decorum.

"What more can there be to say? I am thinking that limiting our interactions will be great for our relationship, Inquisitor. You are a templar. I know my reputation. I am here for study alone, I have no interest in your Inquisitionnor your relationship with Andraste,"

"Faeron," Morrigan's growled and he glared back at the room.

"What? Is anybody here surprised? Just… I'm not here to fight, I am in a hurry, you lost the one Warden I was in need of and…" he was about to continue to rant but started coughing instead.

A think iron taste spread through his mouth triggering his gag reflex and seconds later Morrigan was at his side as he was grabbing on to a wall to stay standing.

"Breath. Faeron, spit, and breath!" she instructed and a congealedbrown red lump of blood was spat at the floor.

Morrigan was cursing like a sailor and Faeron doing his best to make her stop fretting and fussing. He thought he saw satisfaction in Leliana's eyes, the others just looked shocked.

"A bit under the weather, Warden-Commander?" Leliana mused and for a moment Faeron feared Morrigan would lunge at the Spymaster.

"Nothing lethal," he lied glaring at her "Sorry to disappoint. Just a bit of Blight sickness, non-contagious. Another part of the glory of being a Warden,"

"We do have hea…." the antivian woman began

"I am sure the Warden-Commander is brilliant enough to take care of himself," Leliana interrupted eyes locked at him with a predatory gaze.

He felt Morrigan tremble with withheld rage and he straightened his back and shrugged as he wiped the blood off his lips.

"I am," he replied, "But I thank for the almost offer, lady…?"

"Josephine," the woman smiled, a bit nervous it seemed.

That meant she had a brain worth using.

"Well, I thank for the hospitality then, Lady Josephine," he concluded catching a telling glance from the Inquisitor.

They were an item. Lady Josephine and this Trevelyan. Important information since she seemed to be the reasonable person in his inner council.

"You may retire," the Inquisitor muttered with a sour look on his face and Surana gave him a respectful nod before he walked out and towards the library. Morrigan was fuming behind him.

"Calm down," he muttered his rage drained by the attack.

"She is a wicked callous bitch!"

"Well... I did murder her,"

His smile was wicked and he earned a slight slap on the shoulder from his partner.

"She knows who you are to Kieran, to me and still she..."

Morrigan clinched her jaw and started going through titles in the bookshelves. Surana took the moment to look around. It was an impressive library.

"It doesn't matter," he said a few moments too late to really contribute to the conversation "Have you noticed how … odd the veil is here?"

"Of course I have," she snarled "It is built upon a place once holy to the elves. Magic has seeped into the stone,"

He nodded but was already lost, leaning against the parapet attuning himself to the keep. It spoke like faint whispers to him, almost poking his mind for his attention. It had done more than seep into the stone, the keep was very much alive. Awoken by something and very much its own entity. It felt curious about him.


	30. Chapter 30

The following days in Skyhold could not be described as anything but challenging for Surana. It seemed like everybody in the keep was watching him constantly and he found it difficult to wear his aloof unfriendly mask while at the same time being near Kieran. He feared what would become of his son if he showed his true love and devotion and then had to leave. Morrigan agreed and understood. Exploiting Kieran to get to Faeron was too simple. Many would try.

But what did that matter for a 10-year-old who had not seen his father in over a year? Or for a father who had longed for his family to a point where he thought he might go insane?

Surana did what he had always done when emotionally compromised. He shut off, internalized and pulled away. Breaking his own heart, and Kierans, as he waved the boy away burying himself in books trying to find any clue he could that would help him, or Morrigan, in their quests.

He tried to make up for it in the evenings but it was hard. Kieran was confused and asked the most complex question of all;

"But why do you have to make them believe you are bad?"

Morrigan gave him a short glare and tightening of her lips to tell him to lie. He had made a promise not to bring his gloom and rage into Kieran. To give Kieran as nice of a childhood possible. There was no need for him to see the world through the cold hard eyes of his parents. So Surana sighed, shrugged and mumbled;

"It… It is complicated. They will fear me no matter what. They will hate me no matter what. I have…" he glanced at Morrigan and took a deep breath "I have done things many do not agree with, Kieran. Some of the thingsI agree were bad. I have found that no matter what I do I can not redeem myself to most. If they think of me as heartless it makes it more difficult for them to hurt me. If they think that I do not care for you they won't hurt you to hurt me,"

"Faeron!"

"What else is there to tell him, Morrigan?"

"Why would they hurt me to hurt you?"

"Because they are shallow, bad, people,"

"Will they hurt Mother too?"

"They could try," Morrigan's voice was like steel

"Listen, Kieran. We love you. We will keep you safe, but I need to have a distance here okay? We are not at home, and some people here wish to see me suffer. Nothing in the world would hurt me more than to see you hurt,"

The boy was confused. Rightfully so probably, but Surana knew not what more he could say to explain. Instead, he kissed his son's forehead and rose.

"I will be in the library, studying late,"

"Fine," Morrigan muttered, amber eyes glowing in the dull light from the fireplace.

"Cole say that you are sick, Father," Kieran piped from his place in front of the fire "That you are scared and tired,"

"Refresh my memory, who is Cole?"

"The spirit boy," Morrigan replied

Surana shrugged and forced a wry smile at his son;

"Well, maybe I am. It has never stopped me before. Remember what I've thought you about fear?"

"You can't let it rule you,"

"Exactly. So, don't fear for me. I will be all right. Now let your mother put you to bed and I shall be off to the library,"

"Good hunting," the boy mumbled as he yawning went over to Morrigan and allowing her to tuck him into bed.

Faeron'seyes were sore and grainy with sleep after a few hours but he kept at it. Huddled up in an alcove of the library with piles of books around him he combed through every page for another lead. There had to be something. Even if he had read most of the books a hundred times maybe he had missed something?

He yawned and sighed. He'd just rest his eyes for a moment. It was easier to think in darkness.

He knew he was asleep, it was fairly obvious since he was rising up out of his own body. The fortress felt even more alive now when he was in the fade. He could tug on the memories of old and watch millenniums of people living there. Drawn to the fortress for all kind of reasons. He floated through the rooms pondering his own issues while watching the past play out in front of him when he noticed something. Among the earliest remnants, where the keep started having difficulty differentiation between its own entity and the memories he saw a face he recognized.

The bald elf.

But that was impossible. The elf couldn't be there… maybe it was just the spirit that had inhabited the elf when they met? But he felt… whole.

The elf was leading some kind of ritual, and… that was an Eluvian behind him. Working. People running through. Something big was going to happen, maybe it had nothing to do with the Blight but Surana knew he had to see what it was.

A twang, a jolt and a jerk and he were back in his body. His neck sore from having jolted back as he awoke. He stared at the dagger thrust into the table beside him.

"Always ruining important things," he muttered glaring at Leliana who stood on the other side of the dagger "I was having a very important dream,"

"I should thrust it in your skull," she growled

"So why didn't you?"

She looked flustered. He kind of enjoyed it. She was so much talk and so little action. He bet she still worried about the state of her soul. A useless endeavor for people like them.

"You are a very convincing ghost," he admitted sniffing the lyrium on her "However, I have no wish to engage in conversation with you,"

"You desecrated her ashes,"

"Well.. someone's ashes. Possibly hers. It does not matter,"

"Does not matter!?" her voice rose in volume and heat "You… you heathen! You blaspheming piece of shit!"

He sighed and glared at her;

"Go away,"

"I should kill you,"

"If you do would that mean that your issue is resolved and you die?"

"You are such an ass!"

He couldn't help but grin and chuckle at her frustration.

"What do you want, Leliana? I'd love to bicker all night but I doubt any of us have that time to spare,"

"What is your game?"

Her voice was dripping of suspicion and he felt the small joy of getting on her nerves seeping away.

"I told you earlier today. Help Morrigan with her research, Morrigan helping me with mine,"

"And the boy?"

"What about him?"

"I will not let you hurt a child, Surana. I do not care how much Morrigan will cry or if the heavens will crumble. You will not desecrate another life while I'm here,"

He bit down on his jaw. He wanted to snap at her, act out every knee jerk reaction in his mind to her suggesting he would do anything to hurt Kieran. He did not. He simply bit down, pushed the chair back a little and glared at her.

"That can never happen," he slowly said "And believe me when I tell you that you would have no time to hurt nor kill me if he was to be hurt because of me. Morrigan would have ripped the skin of my bones and set fire to my soul a million times before you even reached me,"

"He is your son, no?"

He shrugged his shoulders. He knew she knew but he didn't want to admit it. Not to her. She would tell others, word would spread and even if it wasn't a big secret he preferred to keep it as secret as he could.

"It isn't important,"

"I think it is. Morrigan has grown up raising a son. Why she keeps you around is a mystery,"

"Maybe it's love?"

The venom in his voice was rich and powerful. She just looked at him as if he was telling her the sky was green.

"You do not know love. You can not," she hissed "You are a bleak excuse of a person. A monster. Monsters do not love,"

"Well. You would know all about that," he snapped back "This is incredibly non-productive, so if you will excuse me, I'll just… go and read somewhere where you won't bother me,"

He rose, tucking the book under his arm and started to walk away, hearing her calmly state;

"I'll kill you. One day,"

Behind him. He groaned and replied

"You keep saying that,"

He turned to look at her before heading down the stairs and towards Morrigan and Kierans quarters but she was gone when he looked back. God damn ghost...


End file.
